Tuesday, June 24, 2014

23 Flavors (Hey Mikey! He Likes It!)

I've learned to loathe Mikey and that damned Life cereal commercial....

I wound up having the day off...and I'm sitting here trying to think of what to make for dinner. I'm actually craving stuff that I know I can't easily find. I could really go for a nice Cornish pasty, or a cold pork pie, or any number of delicious treats I've had in my travels...but my options in the pantry are limited. I could make some chorizo, I know I have that in the freezer.

Thinking about food has me thinking about some of the foods I've eaten, and how friends in different cultures view them. It's odd, really, when one takes into account societal viewpoints on food. Food is fuel. It serves the purpose of keeping our bodies running. It can also be delicious, fun to prepare, and made to look fancy! But...really, why do people get so bent out of shape about certain foods? Sure, the Bible says not to eat certain things, for various reasons...and I'm sure other religions have their own take on foods. To eat meat or not, vegetarian vs. vegan, gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, fat free...so many choices. And really, that's all it is. Choices. And opinions. And we all know about opinions....

Here's a list of some of the wild and wonderful foods I've had over the years,  that folks have commented about...mostly by saying things like "EWWWWWWWW" or "I could never..." I've enjoyed most of these...not all, but most.


  • Kangaroo - This is the one that most people flip over. Personally, I love me some roo! I've had roo burgers, steaks, sausage, kabobs, and jerky, and it's all wonderful! You'd probably enjoy it...if you gave it a try.
  • Emu - I liked it. Reminded me of ostrich, which I also enjoy. Beefy but without that blahh feeling you get from eating a large portion. 
  • Crocodile - Nope. Didn't like it. Reminded me of alligator...which I don't like. Tasted nasty, had a texture I didn't enjoy, and smelled odd. 
  • Alligator - See Crocodile.
  • Rattlesnake - Lovely! Imagine a chicken-like texture, but with a milder flavor. Great for batter-frying. 
  • Skunk - Only had it once...in a stew...and really, it wasn't bad. Gamey and a bit stringy...but tasted similar to most rodent meat. 
  • Groundhog - Again, had it in a stew. A bit greasy, gamey, and stringy...but not awful 
  • Squirrel - Have eaten squirrel a number of times. Really not bad. Very reminiscent of rabbit. Takes a few to fill up on. Good in stew but also good over an open fire. 
  • Ostrich - If you want to enjoy a burger, this is the way to go! Tastes much like beef, but less greasy and without the blahhhh feeling afterwards. 
  • Wild Boar - I am a big fan of wild boar meat! It's like pork but tastier! Can be a bit tough...but learn how to cook it right, and damn, this is good eating!
  • Buffalo - My trips to Sturgis, SD can be blamed for my love of buffalo meat. From that 1st buffalo burger at a diner, in the middle of the night, to the most recent buffalo steak I've had, it's been delicious from start to finish. Imagine low fat beef. That's what it tastes like. It can be dry and tough if not cooked properly, so if its your first time making it, follow your recipe to the letter!
  • Deer - While not uncommon where I live, it might be to some folks. I like deer. It can be gamey as hell, but can also be delicious. Steaks, chops, chili, you name it...its great! Deer bologna (aka trail bologna) is a treat!
  • Ram - Only had it once, but damn it was good! Similar to lamb but gamier. I'd love to have it again!
  • Elk - Reminds me of a cross between deer and moose...seriously. It's gamey...but its good.
  • Moose - Delicious! Big hunks of dark red meat, low fat, strong flavor...this is meat lover's meat!
  • Bear - Best I can describe this is kinda like a strong, sweet pork chop. I like it! Can never get it...but I like it! As long as I don't have to hunt it, skin it, or cook it.
  • Shark - Shark, to me, is weird. I don't like seafood, as a rule...but shark ain't bad. I've had shark fin soup a number of times, and dammit...as much as I hate to admit it, I like it! I can't really compare the flavor to anything else. It tastes like...shark.
  • Rabbit - No, it doesn't taste like chicken...at least not to me. It has a similar texture, but that's it. I cried the first time my dad tried to get me to eat. (OK, I was 7) I have since learned that a properly marinated, and well-cooked rabbit is a wonderful meal! Great for BBQ!
  • Horse - Yep. Had it. Liked it. Get over it. It's a cultural thing. Most Americans freak out over the thought of eating "this majestic creature". That's stupid. It's meaty and loaded with protein. And it's tasty.
  • Ox - Beef for the serious beef eater! Hell, even the tail is good! I've eaten ox tail soup, stew, and sammiches...as well as ox roast, steaks, etc. Seriously good eating! Don't skimp on the onions!
  • Shellfish - Like I said, not a huge seafood fan, so I'll lump all shellfish together. I can take it or leave it. I like some shrimp in my gumbo, but some folks get weird about it. Lobster is a nice treat...once every 10 or so years. Crab...could care less. I know that shellfish isn't unusual to most people...but my family, if they read this, will be in shock that I HAVE eaten it. 
  • Cactus - A surprisingly tasty plant! It's like a big chunk of lettuce. Grill off the needles. Dip it in salad dressing. Really...it's tasty!
  • Ghost Peppers - Really, you don't need these. These are only for the culinary masochists out there. I LOVE hot, spicy food...but these are just ridiculous. You DON'T need to eat them. They don't add to anything...they're just painfully hot. Hot isn't even the right word. Imagine molten lava sliding down your esophagus. That's the best way I can describe them. I make an intense, concentrated habanero sauce that is all the heat & spice I will ever need to add to a dish. 1 spoonful in a pot of chili or gumbo is usually more than most of my friends are comfortable with. Ghost peppers...just insane. Again, you DO NOT need to ever eat these. Remember, at some point they WILL be coming out the other end. See how funny you think it is then. NOTE: whenever handling hot peppers, if possible, wear gloves. I once made the mistake of NOT wearing gloves. Hours later, and after numerous hand washings, I scratched a very private part of my anatomy...the searing pain from the residual capsaicin left me in agony for hours...even after a few healthy scrubbings!  
Writing this reminded me of an ex girlfriend...who was not an adventurous eater. I used to terrorize her by answering her question, "What's for dinner?" with "Roast beast".  She eventually stopped eating my cooking. Her loss. 


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