Monday, November 25, 2013

Thanksgivus!

THANKSGIVUS!!!!!!!!!!

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!!!! 8th YEAR!!!!!!

I post this every year. Why? Because some folks ask for it....also because I like it. I hope you will too. We probably shouldn't need a holiday to remind us to be thankful for whatever we have...but I'm glad we do. So with out further adieu....

Thanksgivus

Thanksgivus: that's what she called it. The 'she' in question would be a very short, loud, middle aged black woman with retardation who I supervised for years. Her name is Omega...fitting because she truly is THE END!

Omega didn't exactly have a speech problem but I think her hearing wasn't 100% on the mark, as certain words would get slurred together such as "Thanksgivus". Another fave was her version of Social Security, which often sounded more like "sociable secretary" (of which I've known a few).

Thanksgivus (which is what I now prefer to call the US holiday Thanksgiving) is the last Thursday of November (this is for my overseas friends who may not be fully knowledgeable of the subject). It is the holiday where we Americans give Thanks to God for giving us BIG tasty birds, punkin pie & cranberry sauce...all courtesy of a tribe that we soon took great pains to wipe out. In short, when those Pilgrims (essentially English religious nuts) 1st landed at Plymouth Rock, they didn't have a CLUE what they were doing or what they were in for!

After that 1st winter (what do you mean "No Central Heating"???), most of the Pilgrims had died off. A few hearty ones remained (probably by eating the others...but that story seems to have vanished in the annals of history) and it was looking bleak for them, as they didn't know SQUAT about farming North American soil. Luckily, the Indians (bite me, I will NOT be PC) took pity on them, showed them what to do and the Pilgrims survived. They did sooo well, in fact, they had a big feast and invited the Indians. When the Indians showed up, they realized that white folks are either really bad at planning feasts or are just stingy, so they sent some braves to go kill a half dozen or so deer....gotta make sure ya don't leave the table unless yer ready to burst....STILL an American Thanksgivus tradition. NOWHERE on the menu was green bean casserole....PLEASE make note of that! (the Americans reading this will get the humor)

Finally, sometime in the 19th century, after decades of confusion as to what this "New England" holiday was and when it was supposed to be observed, some mad woman wrote everyone in the colonies suggesting the last Thursday in November...just in time to mark the start of Xmas shopping season!

Now, contrary to what some of my English colleagues have been lead to believe, Thanksgivus is NOT the American Xmas. Trust me, NO ONE on this planet overdoes Xmas like the Americans! Here it is, the Sunday BEFORE Thanksgivus and I'm looking out my front door at my neighbor's Xmas lights! 1 month 5 days before we celebrate the Man's b-day (even though we have the date wrong)...1 month 5 days of looking at those damned lights! Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays as much if not more than most people...but I like things to be done for the right reasons...not just to be the 1st, best or brashest.

For the holidays, I wish you all peace, happiness and a full belly. May your homes be filled with laughter (and not just the canned version coming from your TV). May your pockets never be empty, maybe your fridge always be full (with at least 1 6pack of decent beer...in case I should stop by lol) and may your troubles be few & far between.

In fact, I don't just wish you these things for the holidays...I wish them for you all EVERYDAY.

I'm having a few friends over (as usual) this year for Thanksgivus. It might not be the fanciest dinner but I hope to guarantee all a good meal, a full belly and someplace to sit and digest and enjoy some good company after (and before...as long as they stay OUTTA MY WAY in the kitchen.).

We will revel in the death of a turkey. We shall take delight in the taters, which will be mashed. The rolls will hopefully not be slightly burned on the bottoms...but if they are, that's what butter, gravy & butter knives are for! The veggies will be plentiful and not overcooked. The pie will be chocolate cream...NOT PUNKIN! (my tradition...not yours, OK? ) And yes Virginia...there will most likely be cranberries of some sort...JUST NO DAMNED GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE...PLEASE!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Free To Write Again

I finished a song today. That might not sound like much, but this song has haunted me for 15 damned years.

Sure, most songwriters have tons of unfinished songs. Hell, I have hundreds, maybe thousands of them...but this song has always been gnawing at the back of my brain. I've asked at least a half dozen songwriter friends to help me with it over the years, but nothing ever came of it. I guess it just wasn't the song's time...until now.

I guess I can thank the music industry, in part, for it. This song is bound to be ignored by most. It's a waltz for Pete's sake...and really, who writes waltzes anymore? That said, the industry, and the possibly irreversible mess it's found itself in, has freed me to write whatever the hell I damned well like. It no longer really matters.

For years I've heard the words "it'll never get airplay" in the back of my head when I write. Not that many of my songs have ever or will ever get much airplay, but those words were always still there. The industry created, for decades, a sea of writers and musicians trying to write the next hit...the next big thing. Let's face it, there's hasn't been anything new or original in years. Vinyl is enjoying a resurgence not because of anything new, but because everyone is looking backwards for music. What's the old saying? "Everything old is new again." Most of today's music is so putrid that even the kids won't listen to it. Millions are spent in advertising campaigns to tell folks how awesome this new song or artist is, and the record companies keep on losing money. It's actually pretty funny.

The industry is made up of greedy motherfuckers, selfish bastards, and whores. I've never been greedy but like most, I can honestly say I've been, at different points in my career, the latter two. There's so much DIY now that the playing field has truly been leveled. Folks are giving their music away at a loss just to be heard...the good ones as well as the bad ones. With all of this going on...why not finish my waltz?

I remember when I first had the idea for the song. One line is all it took. At the time, it sounded ridiculously simple. I thought it bordered on stupidly simple. Then there was that fact that it's a waltz. It has an almost Mexican feel to it. I knew then that it would never make anyone's Top 10. Days, weeks and months rolled by and that song kept gnawing at me...like a rat trapped behind a wall.

I tried my old writing trick: I got good and drunk and tried to get myself pissed off. No more verses came...but the song just crept deeper into my soul. Time kept on passing it by. I wrote song after song, leaving my little waltz in the shadows. Every so often, it would pop up while I was playing guitar. I'd play the little bit of it I'd written and wonder when or if I would ever finish it.

Like I said, I invited friends to help me with it. I think when I told them it was a waltz, it put them off. Again, really...who plays waltzes anymore? My friends are rockers, blues cats, etc. They don't play no stinking waltzes! So the song sat, anything but quietly, in my subconscious.

More years went by. I released a few more albums. I recorded with others. I produced others. I wrote for others. I toured the US, the UK, Australia, and back...and that little waltz waited patiently.

I kept vowing to get out of show biz. Yeah right...that's not likely to ever happen. Cancer. A coma. Brain damage. A heart attack. A legal nightmare. Another bout of cancer. The world kept changing, getting darker and more impersonal. Instant communication abounded. I can play along with another musician on the other side of the planet without leaving my den...and still, the little waltz sat ignored.

I went on the road and played the waltz for the guys I toured with. They're rootsy guys...they dug it...but had no clue what to do with it. The song was now back in the forefront of my mind. It would no longer be ignored.

I've been writing a fair bit lately. Mostly old blues sort of stuff...definitely not waltzes. I asked another friend if she wanted to try her hand at it. She agreed...but before she could, the rest of the song presented itself to me. As I worked out the last verse, it was a deeply emotional experience. As my better half put it, it was like a well-deserved shit for my mind. Not that the song is shit. It's anything but....but I got what she meant.

My little waltz, the song that took me 15 years to finish, is ready to spread it's musical wings and fly. I'd like to record it. I already have production ideas for it. I have a feeling that it will be one of those songs that takes on it's own life in the studio. And I'll love every minute of it. Until then, I have a lo fi, home demo that I recorded on my laptop, played on my beat up old 12 string that has needed new strings for 5 years. The lo fi quality seems to fit the song. It's rough and dirty...like it raised up from the earth like a mighty weed.

Thank you, again, to the music industry, the greedy motherfuckers, selfish bastards, and whores...and the complacent music fans who now expect everything for free...for killing the music business. You've done yourselves a disservice...but you've leveled the playing field. We're all fucked now...and it doesn't matter...because we're now free to write whatever the hell we want again. Fuck the next big hit. Fuck the concept of heroes and fans. Music has been dragged back to earth...where it belongs.

I'm happy with my little waltz. Ask me and I'll even let you hear it...in all of it's ragged glory.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

A String of Honky Tonk Friday Nights

As you may already know, I've just been on tour with Danny Kay & The Nightlifers, a honky tonk band based out of Baltimore, MD. We were having a great time and a good tour until we hit some unexpected rough patches. The last straw was our bass player, Johnny Lawless, falling ill. We had to pull the plug then. Big apologies to those who had been planning to come out and see us. We will try to reschedule for the spring.


L-R Johnny Lawless, Danny Kay, Memphis Mike @ The Parlour, Providence, RI


Some of you may be wondering "So, how was the rest of the tour?"  In short, GREAT!

We kinda got a late start though. Johnny drove up from Virginia to pick me up in Pittsburgh and then out to the middle of nowhere in the mountains where Danny Kay is now residing. We're talking Bigfoot Country. Once we were all aboard and packed up and strapped in, it was straight to Harrisburg, PA for our first show of the tour.

Susquehanna Ale House 22  Harrisburg, PA



In case you didn't know, we had NO rehearsal for this tour. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada. I had done one show with these guys, back in July...just one set...that's all the practice we got. DK had given me a list of songs and I learned them. Once it was showtime, it was time to prove that I had. We had a nice turn out, especially for a Wednesday night. Folks were moving and grooving and singing along. We sold a fair amount of merch (merchandise = CDs, t-shirts, etc...for those not in the know) too. Hell, I even sold 3 of my CDs...and it wasn't even my show!

A friend of DK's, Dale, was kind enough to put us up at his house...and WOW! what a place it was! Nestled back in the tall trees, well off the road, it's a beautiful house complete with a bar, hot tub, movie theater room and more than enough rooms to comfortably accommodate us all. There was a little 'get together' with some friends and fans...that went on well into the night. We were pretty tired but it was nice to get to hang out with folks a bit. Dale's girlfriend had taken the day off and made us a batch of home-made "whoopie pies" (Gobs to you Pittsburgh folks) to take on the road with us...and let me tell you, not only were they good, they were well appreciated! It took us a few days to finish them off...but we did! I think I ate the last one in Connecticut. They traveled well!

After a good sleep, we loaded up the van and headed east to Philly...


The Shore Road Tavern  Philadelphia, PA

I hadn't played anywhere in Philly in years. Hell, I haven't toured in any real sense since my heart attack back in 07, so I was up for anything. I wasn't expecting the Shore Road Tavern!

The drive to Philly was pretty short...but Philly didn't disappoint when it came to remembering how crappy the traffic is. The GPS was going nuts and sending all over the place. We took a brief detour to DK's buddy Smitty's garage to get the van's heater checked out...as we figured we'd probably need it. (we did!) Smitty's is pretty well hidden but MAN O MAN what a treasure! If you're a fan of old cars and trucks, you'd love the place! There were a large number of old cars from the 40s/50s in various states of repair. It seems that Smitty gets these old cars and fixes them up for resale, as well as doing custom jobs and repairs. He also has 2 very cool old tow trucks. I made sure to get photos of them for a buddy of mine who is a tow truck driver.

From there it was on to the venue. Along the way, we drove down a city street that boasted no less than 30 different barber shops! If you need a haircut, obviously Philly is the place to be. Average price: $5. I saw a barber shop not far from the venue and they were charging $10! That place must be amazing to charge such an extravagant price!

We pulled up to the venue and it looked, from the outside, like any old city bar. We walked in through the stage door and I have to say that I was amazed at the petite size of the place. The stage wasn't much bigger than some drum risers I've seen...but it was well lit and they had a good PA system. They also have a trap door...so for a Munsters fan like me, I was loving it.

The bar really is tiny...but what it lacks in size it more than makes up for in coolness. The owners, Mike & Kathy, are great folks and you can tell that not only do they love their bar, they love music! They are big supporters of live music and working musicians. It appears that they regularly have live music and the Thursday night that we played was no exception. In fact, there were 2 acts on the bill...us and Stevie Tombstone.  Stevie tours solo, just him and his guitar, but had a stellar banjo picker named Buck flying in for a few east coast shows.

After loading in and settling in to the apartment afforded us by the club (more about that in a minute), DK, Johnny Lawless, Stevie Tombstone & I walked a few blocks down to a place called Joe's for a Philly Cheesesteak sammich (sans cheese for me). While the food was good...the milkshakes were amazing! I loaded up on hot peppers too...so I almost felt bad for the band.

Back at the club later, Stevie & Buck put on an amazing show of blues-y honky tonkin' folky kind of music. It was breath-taking. I wish I could've caught the whole set but I had to S.S.S.(Shit Shower Shave) before the show. OK...I didn't shave. Didn't shave the entire tour. I wanted to see if I can grow a beard. I can...but it turns out to be a pathetic, patchy white mess.

The apartment that the club has for traveling acts is fantastic! Reminds me of the place my old buddy Perry Petrone had for traveling bands...and if you know that name, you know what I'm talking about! Clean, comfortable, and home-y. Nice beds, full kitchen, clean bathroom and shower...what more could you ask for? Lots of very cool posters and memorabilia too!

The Shore Road Tavern is a must! Check the place out next time you're in Philly!
We got back to the bar and caught the last of Stevie's set. The packed house was loving it. I knew this would be a tough act to follow...so we set up and gave it 125%! And it showed! We did 2 sets full of DK's original honky tonk and a few select country and rockabilly covers. The crowd danced all night. I was tickled to see my friend Grace there (one of my best friend's sister). She really enjoyed the show and her friend Mike also dug it.  By the night's end, we were pretty tuckered out...and were thankful to not have to load out until morning. We just packed everything up and stored it, and then had a few beers with some friends, fans, Mike & Kathy, and Danielle, the bartender. Good times! By 2:30 we went to the apartment to crash. I had a room to myself (something really important on the road...ya just need some alone time) and sat and played some delta blues on an old guitar left there by an aging country singer. As I was drifting off to sleep, I could hear DK in the other room watching the movie "The Commitments". This was the start of the Otis Redding nightmare.

I got up early, SSS'ed and went for a walk around Philly. We were blessed with pretty nice weather for this tour. It was cool but not cold. The Shore Road Tavern is in a very working class area of Philly and I went walking through side streets, up to the cemetery, down to the Wawa (an east coast convenient store chain) looking for instant coffee to take on the road with me, and eventually back to the apartment, where I ran into Stevie and Buck downstairs practicing some killer new material. If you're not hip to Stevie Tombstone's music...get with it! He's totally bad ass!

Finally, the 2 mighty sleepers (DK & Johnny Lawless) got up and ready, we loaded up the truck, said our thank you's and good-byes and hit the road.  The ride up to Vermont seemed endless. The GPS was mocking us with "unique" directions.

RIOT IN COWTOWN/The Barn  Pawtel, VT

I'd been through Vermont in my younger days but don't believe I ever played there. VT is mostly rural (from what I could see) and seemingly mostly white. It sort of struck me like a living, breathing LL Beane catalogue. Lots of people in expensive flannels and khakis. Don't get me wrong...a very nice place...but being a city boy, I really felt out of my element.

We pulled up to The Barn and from the outside, looked as advertised. On the inside, however, this is a pretty posh joint. Pawtel is a small small town, so this seems to be the place to go. The staff were great and treated us well. We were getting free dinner and drinks along with our pay, so it was time to dig in. I opted for the Guiness-marinated steak and let me tell you, THAT WAS SOME GOOD EATING! I rarely eat red meat anymore due to my ticker...but damn, that was one excellent big ol' hunk of meat! The spud, salad and rolls were great too. Washed down with a local lager and a cup of coffee and seriously, I could've gone and taken a nap....but it was time to work! They offered us dessert too...but I was already bloated like a tic, so we declined.

We set up onstage and by the 2nd number, some older folks in the crowd were up and dancing. I even stepped down off the stage during a song to dance a bit with an old gal who looked to be having the time of her life.

DK was having some throat problems but we kept it going. Johnny and I started the 2nd set without DK...to let him rest his throat for a few minutes. We did the old George Fleming song "I'm Gonna Tell" and Hank Sr's "Move it On Over". The crowd was enjoying the show big time. DK rejoined up and we honky tonked the crap out of the joint!

After the show, we went to the place we were being put up for the night; an old sap house converted to a cabin. I'd been told all night that the view in the morning was truly a sight to see...and I couldn't wait to get a good night's sleep so I could get up early and see it. Unfortunately, this was not to be the case....

I'll say this: there is NO light pollution in this part of VT. I haven't seen a sky that clear and star-filled since the last time I was in Australia. The constellations practically jumped out at ya and the sky seemed almost closer. It was gorgeous...but there was a big party going on at the sap house cabin...and things were gonna get weird.

DK had been trying to fix his sore throat with bourbon all night...not a smart move...and he paid for it...behind the van...all over the ground.

In the sap house is where the real party was going down. It's a small building with just a wood burning stove for heat...but it was hot & hopping in there! Plenty of beer, wine and whiskey and unless my olfactory senses deceived me, a bit of Auntie Mary Jane's Herbal Remedy. We all just wanted so sleep. It had been a long day...but people always want to hang out with the band, so I'm used to it. I had a few beers, played guitar a bit with one of the guests, and made a new friend of a guests' golden retriever G-Dog.

DK, feeling pretty much like crap by this point, was trying to crash on the couch in his sleeping bag. Johnny, being the smart one, climbed the ladder up into the loft. I'd finally cleared folks off of the couch on the far side of the room, and started stretching out...with my new friend G-Dog curling up with me.

Folks started to realize that we need some sleep, so they started heading out...except for one gal who was 'feeling no pain' and looking a male friend of hers. JD. We heard that name for the next few hours. "Where's JD?"  "Has anyone seen JD?" "JD, WHERE ARE YOU???"  "JD! JD! JD!"

Me, I can pretty much sleep through anything. I once slept through a tornado, right under an open window, as roofs were being blown off of houses. I slept right through it...so this didn't bother me much. DK & Johnny, on the other hand, were less than thrilled. This was also the continuation of the Otis Redding nightmare.

Someone had put on a "Best of Otis Redding" CD...and had it on continual play. For the next few hours, while we tried to rest, we heard the cries of "JD?!?!? JD?!?!!?! WHERE'S JD?!!!?" over the nonstop backing of Otis Redding. It was becoming a bit maddening...but I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up to the sounds of Johnny up in the loft explaining that no, he was not JD...but Johnny from the the band. I opened my eyes just in time to see a body fall from the loft...and land on DK! As she fell, she also brought down a shelf covered with fishing lures. The shelf, thankfully missed DK's head by a few inches but he was covered in fishing lures and this chick. The running joke for the rest of the tour was that "Girls fall hard for Danny Kay". As I didn't have my glasses on, it was all a blur. I heard Johnny yell down "Are you OK????" and while DK grunted that he was, the young lady also stated that she was and continued her search for JD. She then came over and asked if I knew where he was. I didn't, and went back to sleep.

After a few hours of fitful snoozing, I got up to check out this view I was told about. It did NOT disappoint! In my opinion, it was worth it! See for yourself!



I'll write more about this tour later on...but for now, I have laundry to catch up and I'm too busy enjoying being home, in my robe and slippers, playing with the cat and feeling content in the knowledge that there is excellent toilet paper in both of my bathrooms. See, that's what ya miss on the road: the little things we all take for granted. A hot shower, good toilet paper, your own coffee maker, slippers, etc.  But, if you love to make music, the road is always a joy. Entertainers are lucky people. Our job is to make people happy, one night at a time.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

On The Road Again!

So, I'm spending the day doing laundry...nothing particularly new or exciting but...

I'm getting ready for my first real tour in 7 years. Needless to say, I'm excited...yet at the same time, a tad nervous.

For those who haven't been keeping score, I'm going on tour playing guitar with Danny Kay & The Nightlifers, an old school country band - 2 guitars, upright bass, no drums. I'm quite looking forward to it...provided I don't have a heart attack or stroke on the road.

I'm going to miss my girlfriend and my cat. With the exception of the odd weekend here and there, this is the first time my girlfriend and I have spent any kind of time away from each other in our nearly 6 years together. It's going to be weird NOT waking up next to her. I'm going to miss her knee in my spine and her stealing all the covers. I'm going to miss our routines. We get up together in the morning. She usually drinks most of the coffee but always makes more for me. She calls me daily from work. If we're lucky, we get to have dinner together once or twice a week. If not, we'll throw in a frozen pizza or something when she gets home from work. We're both nerdy geeks. No one gets our respective senses of humor like we do. I'm going to miss sitting on the couch, her snuggled up to me, while we watch TV and make fart jokes. I'll miss my cat and her antics. The cat will probably be more concerned that her feeding schedule is going to have to change. She's a tough li'l furball...I'm sure she'll manage.

Then there's me. I am by nature a creature of habit....odd habits, to be sure, but habits all the same. I'll be waking up in strange places, at different times. I'll be surrounded by different people than I'm used to. I won't be eating what I normally do. I've always found it difficult to get into a routine while on tour. As much as I'm looking forward to this, part of me is freaking out and screaming "What the hell have I gotten myself into????"

I figure, if Keith Richards can still handle touring (and he's what? 90?) then I can. Mind you, he travels a bit more stylishly than I do...but what the heck, you only live once...twice if you're me.

I'm very lucky to be afforded this opportunity...and grateful as heck! Having been unemployed and/or underemployed for the past two years, this is just what I needed! A chance to do what I love most, making music, and getting paid for it. I have no delusions about it. The money will suck compared to the amount of time we're putting into it. Driving 300+ miles every day, eating worse than college students, and only really coming alive for a few hours at night...I know it well. Mile upon mile of dead grass, empty fields, and the occasional city. Lots and lots of tail lights. Luckily, musicians tend to share a sick, twisted view of the world. Musicians tend to have good senses of humor. I just need to keep my political and religious views to myself...polite conversation skills.

Touring used to be a lot easier for me. I had money and a good job. I could take a week or two off and still get paid...plus the money I made on the road. This time around, it'll be a matter of budgeting. I'll have to sell my skills nightly, as well as trying to move merchandise (in this case, 2 boxes of CDs that I'm taking with me). Like I said, we're getting paid but won't exactly be making a king's ransom. But, I'll be sending money home and getting bills paid...so I'm happy. Happier still, I'll be able to do it while doing something I love. How many can truly say that?

At my age, this tour will be one of two things: either the start of a new chapter in my life, or the end of a very long chapter. What if it's just too much for me anymore? I have to be honest with myself...my health ain't great. Weakened by 2 bouts of cancer, a heart attack, and a heart condition, this will be a lot of work and will, no doubt, take a lot out of me...but damn, I'm excited!

I'll probably miss my bathtub most. And my girl. And my cat. And my habits. But oh well, as the French say, ' c'est la vie '. I say "BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!" I'm ready for this!!!!!!