We're all special. Mr. Rogers said so. But, in as much as we're all special, doesn't that diminish the specialness of being special?
Most of us are bullies and probably don't even realize it. Worse, most of us will probably argue that we're not because we are so certain that our beliefs are important and true.
Sure, you're passionate about your beliefs...but at what point does that passion become aggression?
Say, for example, you're a vegan. You hate going to your local grocery store because they sell meat and meat byproducts. You've explained to your friends and loved ones (and many strangers too) how bad meat is for you, how cruel the slaughter of animals is, and blah blah blah. You really must be tired and exhausted from all of that preaching. You've exchanged some words with the lady, making just slightly more than minimum wage, who works at the meat counter. She's probably had a rough day, you know, killing all of those cute cows and chickens, dismembering them, and forcing them on the uneducated masses. The words exchanged have become a bit heated. Who was really in the wrong? Would it be the lady at the meat counter? Perhaps the butcher, or the farmer who raised these critters, or maybe the faceless corporation behind it all? Guess again.
By attempting to force their beliefs on someone else, the vegan was being a bully. Now I'm not saying that veganism is bad. If you can do it, more power to you! I've personally been a vegetarian at points in my life...and I never lost the desire to eat meat. It's just not who I am. And I certainly never told anyone they should give up meat. I would never believe I have that right.
Perhaps you believe in and follow a certain faith. You may have been told, by someone that you hold as an authority figure, that you should try to actively convert others to your faith. Mind you, no one ever told you HOW to do it. You are 100% sure that your set of beliefs is THE one. So then why don't others see it? You've talked to them, even argued with them...yet they still turn away from your faith. Why? Because YOU are the problem. You are being a bully.
This falls true with every thing that you are. While Mr. Rogers thinks you're special (and you are!), so is every one else. When you try to convince someone else that your way is the right way, you are, in essence and actuality, insulting that person. You read that correctly. You are aggressively insulting them. You are being a bully.
Democrat, Republican, Straight, Gay, Left, Right, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Jew, Muslim, or Buddhist, if you tell someone that they are wrong, you are being a bully. It's a bitter pill to swallow, I know. I'm as guilty as anyone...but I'm trying to change.
Who are any of us to feel that our truth and set of beliefs is, ultimately, better than someone else's? What makes us think that way? In the long run, how does this way of thinking benefit the greater good?
If someone does, however seemingly innocently or aggressively, attempt to force their beliefs on you, how should you react? I would guess that one would initially react with a level of incredulity. Then what? Someone has just, intentionally or possibly unintentionally insulted your intelligence and possibly your own set of beliefs...how do you take that?
Be honest with the person. Tell them, politely, that you do not appreciate being insulted in such a fashion. Tell them that you appreciate that they have their opinions, as do you. If the person is willing, engage in a polite, adult discussion about the overlapping areas of your beliefs (there's bound to be many more than you realize). Whatever you do, do not react with aggression. That only makes matters worse.
This doesn't just apply to physical interpersonal encounters. This applies to all encounters with your fellow humans...even on the interweb. Most of us are lucky enough to have found friends in the real world and some lucky enough to find them online. We're attracted to each other through some common ground. But just because we have certain things in common doesn't mean that we will have everything in common.
Remember, to imply that your beliefs/opinions are better, or more true, than someone else's, is an act of aggression. Learn to stop the aggression before it starts. Remember, most of all, that the lady at the meat counter not only has the ability to call for security, she probably also has access to a meat cleaver. We're all just one bad day away from disaster. Think before you speak...or act...or post.
Most of us are bullies and probably don't even realize it. Worse, most of us will probably argue that we're not because we are so certain that our beliefs are important and true.
Sure, you're passionate about your beliefs...but at what point does that passion become aggression?
Say, for example, you're a vegan. You hate going to your local grocery store because they sell meat and meat byproducts. You've explained to your friends and loved ones (and many strangers too) how bad meat is for you, how cruel the slaughter of animals is, and blah blah blah. You really must be tired and exhausted from all of that preaching. You've exchanged some words with the lady, making just slightly more than minimum wage, who works at the meat counter. She's probably had a rough day, you know, killing all of those cute cows and chickens, dismembering them, and forcing them on the uneducated masses. The words exchanged have become a bit heated. Who was really in the wrong? Would it be the lady at the meat counter? Perhaps the butcher, or the farmer who raised these critters, or maybe the faceless corporation behind it all? Guess again.
By attempting to force their beliefs on someone else, the vegan was being a bully. Now I'm not saying that veganism is bad. If you can do it, more power to you! I've personally been a vegetarian at points in my life...and I never lost the desire to eat meat. It's just not who I am. And I certainly never told anyone they should give up meat. I would never believe I have that right.
Perhaps you believe in and follow a certain faith. You may have been told, by someone that you hold as an authority figure, that you should try to actively convert others to your faith. Mind you, no one ever told you HOW to do it. You are 100% sure that your set of beliefs is THE one. So then why don't others see it? You've talked to them, even argued with them...yet they still turn away from your faith. Why? Because YOU are the problem. You are being a bully.
This falls true with every thing that you are. While Mr. Rogers thinks you're special (and you are!), so is every one else. When you try to convince someone else that your way is the right way, you are, in essence and actuality, insulting that person. You read that correctly. You are aggressively insulting them. You are being a bully.
Democrat, Republican, Straight, Gay, Left, Right, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Jew, Muslim, or Buddhist, if you tell someone that they are wrong, you are being a bully. It's a bitter pill to swallow, I know. I'm as guilty as anyone...but I'm trying to change.
Who are any of us to feel that our truth and set of beliefs is, ultimately, better than someone else's? What makes us think that way? In the long run, how does this way of thinking benefit the greater good?
If someone does, however seemingly innocently or aggressively, attempt to force their beliefs on you, how should you react? I would guess that one would initially react with a level of incredulity. Then what? Someone has just, intentionally or possibly unintentionally insulted your intelligence and possibly your own set of beliefs...how do you take that?
Be honest with the person. Tell them, politely, that you do not appreciate being insulted in such a fashion. Tell them that you appreciate that they have their opinions, as do you. If the person is willing, engage in a polite, adult discussion about the overlapping areas of your beliefs (there's bound to be many more than you realize). Whatever you do, do not react with aggression. That only makes matters worse.
This doesn't just apply to physical interpersonal encounters. This applies to all encounters with your fellow humans...even on the interweb. Most of us are lucky enough to have found friends in the real world and some lucky enough to find them online. We're attracted to each other through some common ground. But just because we have certain things in common doesn't mean that we will have everything in common.
Remember, to imply that your beliefs/opinions are better, or more true, than someone else's, is an act of aggression. Learn to stop the aggression before it starts. Remember, most of all, that the lady at the meat counter not only has the ability to call for security, she probably also has access to a meat cleaver. We're all just one bad day away from disaster. Think before you speak...or act...or post.
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