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UNLEARNING HATE/Отучаване на Oмразата

 Some of you may (or may not) know that I'm learning another language. For reasons of my own, I've decided to teach myself Bulgarian. This also includes learning an entirely new (to me) alphabet! While it might seem daunting to some, I see it as a fun (and useful) challenge. I think I'm doing pretty well so far. Rather than use standard learning tools, I'm mostly teaching myself. I'm approaching the experience from more of a behavioral perspective. How do babies learn language? They usually start by hearing it. Then learning to associate sounds with meanings. Then mimicking the sounds and ultimately forming sentences. Then after a few years of babbling, reading and writing is usually taught. 

I already know how to speak at least one language well, and can read, write, and formulate ideas in it. I can mumble my way through a couple of others. In my years in show biz, I've had the pleasure of working with people from a number of different countries, many whose primary language is not English. I've learned that the key to communication is basic. Learn the nouns and verbs you're likely to use. Learn how to say the words for different foods, drinks, daily objects...and you're off to a good start. Learn how to express wants and needs and you're on your way to actual conversation. 

Doing this, maybe it's because of my age, I'm giving serious thought to the words I want to put into daily conversational skills, as well as words I would prefer to leave out. American English, especially the 21st century variety, is a mess. "Love" is overused and grossly misused. Sadly, so is "hate". That's a word I try really hard to never use, in any circumstance. It's an ugly word with ugly connotations. It's tossed around far too freely. Someone might say "I hate spinach" or "I hate traffic" just as easily as they'll say they "hate" a person or group or an idea. I find that not only disturbing, but dangerous. Especially in another language. If I were to use that word as freely as it is used here, how will native speakers view me? I'd imagine they would view me more negatively than I would hope. I already have the disadvantage of being an American (we're not as popular out in the rest of the world as we like to believe).

I guess this leaves me having to look for alternative words. Rather than say that I "hate" something, what can I say? For example, Bulgarians are fond of their yogurt and cheeses...two things I, generally, don't care for.  While not as easy as being rude and saying that I "hate" yogurt and cheese, I can simply say "киселото мляко/сиренето разстройва стомаха ми" (yogurt /cheese upsets my stomach) or "Имам непоносимост към лактоза" (I'm lactose intolerant), both of these are not untrue statements.

If someone does or says something I don't like, I can simply ask why they are saying/doing it. Maybe there is a cultural difference I don't know. For example, they shake their heads side-to-side for yes and up-down for no...the opposite of what I'm used to. I can learn new things. I can unlearn things as well.  

Here's a short list of words that I can't wait to be able to use in conversations. They're all pretty positive. 


  • Благодаря ти
  • Моля те
  • като
  • наслади се
  • чудесен
  • радост
  • удоволствие
  • любов

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