The Real Memphis Mike (don't settle for imitations)

"I resolve to be the best man I can be." Happy New Year! M

People have asked me over the years, and some of you reading this may have wondered, what got me started playing guitar? I can answer in 2 words: Joe Negri Joe Negri is a genius...but he's too polite and too humble to ever admit it. Or even acknowledge it. He just plays. And plays. And plays. And plays rings around almost any guitarist you've ever heard. I first heard him play when I was a kid. Maybe 5 years old. He used to be on Paul Shannon's Adventure Time TV show. Little did I know at the time, he was also the music director for the station. When I was about 8, my Cub Scout troupe was part of the audience, and I got to hear him play live and got to meet the man. He amazed me. He made it look so simple and so fun. Joe has always been great with kids and has inspired countless "kids" of all ages to start playing guitar. Somewhere at my dad's house, is a photo of my mom and some of her friends with Joe at a show. I've told Joe about this photo many times ...

I have a problem with Kwanzaa. Its only as old as I am (45 years now). I DO NOT have a problem with the ideas it celebrates but I do have a problem with the fact that it was created as a seperatist holiday. And I have a problem with it's creator refering to Jesus Christ as "psychotic". See below: (from Wikipedia...I know, not always 100% accurate...but close enough for jazz) "Maulana Karenga of the US Organization created Kwanzaa in 1966 as the first specifically African American holiday . Karenga said his goal was to "give Blacks an alternative to the existing holiday and give Blacks an opportunity to celebrate themselves and history, rather than simply imitate the practice of the dominant society." The name Kwanzaa derives from the Swahili phrase matunda ya kwanza, meaning first fruits of the harvest. The choice of Swahili, an East African language, reflects its status as a symbol of Pan-Africanism, especially in the 1960s. Kwanzaa is a celebration that h...

Its getting to where I hate to watch the news or read the paper (or online news). I keep hearing about so much bad stuff...and sadly, a lot of bad stuff here in the US. I've spent the last two years working the night shift at a mental health facility. If its a quiet night, I often listen to the radio and have recently found that one of the NPR stations plays BBC World News all night. If you really want some idea of how the world views us Americans, check out the news from another country. It might be an eye opener. That said, it breaks my heart to hear that 1 in 5 American women are victims of sexual violence. It breaks my heart that we can no longer trust our politicians, bankers, clergy or even athletic coaches. It seems like everyone is out for themselves and their own desires. What ever happened to responsibility? Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe my looking back on the past is merely tinted through my own memories...but was the world always this evil? Growing up, I knew th...

Being a musician, I have worked with many, many, many drummers. Drummers are an essential part of my music. A bad drummer can ruin a song quicker than anything. A good drummer can make a mediocre piece of music sound brilliant. That said, drummers are the bane of my existence. They are, by and large, my favorite people in the world to drink with. They are usually a blast to hang out with. They often even have great production ideas in the studio! But then comes actually working with them. While a drummer's job is to keep time, they don't understand the concept of clocks. If you tell them that load-in time is 6pm, they might be there by 8pm. Hence the concept of DST (Drummer Standard Time). If you want the drummer to be someplace on time, tell him to be there at least two hours before he/she needs to be there. This should mean they'll only be 20 minutes late. And now, my favorite drummer jokes: Q: What does it mean when a drummer is drooling out of both sides of his/her mout...

Are you pissed off yet? If not, you should be! You shouldn't be pissed off at this picture, nor me for creating it. You should be pissed off that We The People have allowed this country to become what it is. We, the citizens of these United States of America, have allowed it to become a tyranny in democratic clothing. Sure, you can sit back and complain. Lord knows we all do. The reality is, WE allowed this to happen. We kept 'electing' one crooked politician after another. We've allowed them to live a life of luxury while destroying our home. Hell, even the richest 1% are gobsmacked at how blindly stupid we are. The Tea Party are the cowards who wave flags and hide at home, often times while living on their much detested "gubment money". I'm personally AMAZED at how many people I know who, while living on welfare,disability, etc., sit back and complain about all that they are given. Most of them probably don't vote. If they did, there wouldn't be ...

I have an online buddy down in Mississippi we call Uncle Raggy. He's a minister by trade but also one heckuva musician. As it turns out, the man knows his way around the kitchen too. He and I often get to talking about food and different things we like to make. Well, one of Raggy's faves is his take on hot dogs. Yep. Weenies. Tube steaks. Franks. Red hots. Whatever you want to call them. Now you're probably wondering just how the hell can anyone do anything particularly special with hot dogs. You either boil them, grill them, fry them or nuke them, right? But have you ever thought about a marinated hot dog? I'll admit, it sounded odd to me too...but knowing a thing or three about cooking, his recipe sounded interesting, so I thought I'd give it a try. Raggy has a video on YouTube about how to make these hot dogs and man, it's funny! That's how he and I became buds...he's a funny, funny man. But watching the video, I really thought these looked interestin...

OK, so I'm a couple weeks early...sue me! LOL This is the 6th year I've posted this and since people still seem to like it and ask for it, here it is! Be thankful for all of the people in your world! BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!!!! 6th YEAR!!!!!! Thanksgivus Thanksgivus: that's what she called it. The 'she' in question would be a very short, loud, middle aged black woman with retardation who I supervised for years. Her name is Omega...fitting because she truly is THE END! Omega didn't exactly have a speech problem but I think her hearing wasn't 100% on the mark, as certain words would get slurred together such as "Thanksgivus". Another fave was her version of Social Security, which often sounded more like "sociable secretary" (of which I've known a few). Thanksgivus (which is what I now prefer to call the US holiday Thanksgiving) is the last Thursday of November (this is for my overseas friends who may not be fully knowledgeable of the s...

Dear Facebook, I see that you've added yet another wonderful feature (the sort option). Oh joy. Yes, I'm being facetious. Actually, the sort option is nice but...always a but...be careful. Your continual adding of unwanted features and your incessant need for change can and most likely cost you in the long run. You're not the first social networking site and you won't be the last. Remember MySpace? Once upon a time, MySpace was IT! Everyone had a MySpace page. People were hooked! They could interact with their friends, post their status, share pictures and videos with their friends (real or imagined), post "bulletins", etc. One can still do all of that on MySpace...but really, who goes there these days? Myspace essentially shot itself in the foot. It kept adding, changing, getting slower, more and more hackers hopped on board, and its finally to the point where when I try to check in on my band's page, MySpace tells me I need to upgrade to a differen...

I worked Halloween night and have to say, it was a blast. I had another indoor office cookout for my clients (I work in the mental health field for those that don't know) and we all had a blast! Hot dogs on the Foreman grill, chips, pop and of course, tons of Halloween candy! And I did it all on a budget! Gotta love the dollar store! LOL Speaking of which, I picked up the most awesome deli style mustard at the dollar store. Nice and spicy...I can't wait to try it on leftover ham on marble rye! (I guess this means I will have to cook a ham at some point). For you mustard lovers out there, the brand is Koop's (deli style). I highly recommend it! After working a 10 hour night shift, we had a mandatory staff meeting in the morning. I personally hate these because they tend to be USELESS. Client updates...I'm of the mind that if one is paying attention at work AND reading progress notes, all if this is already known. Everyone usually bickers and banters and whines and whinge...

Is there some planetary alignment that I'm unaware of or have been people been regressing at the speed of light lately? Case in point: An old friend of mine who I've know since childhood, had a prospective client storm out of his office today when he found out that my friend is black. Even more ludicrous, this potential client was also black. Everybody say it with me...WTF????? In this day and age, does a person's race still mean anything to anyone other than that person? I've known, befriended, been romantically involved with and worked with people of all races in my 45 years and you know what I've learned from that? People are people. I've been fortunate enough to have traveled around the globe and once again, people are just people. But this doesn't end here. Another friend, who is also black (or African American or Negro or Person of Color or whatever the politically correct term is this week), has been dealing with a similar issue. My friend, while disc...

I spent the past two days in northeast Ohio (where I lived in the second half of the eighties). My time there was personally turbulent but never anything less than interesting (in retrospect). It's been 21 years since I left there. If I hadn't, I probably would've drank myself to death...period. In the little area I lived in, there were 88 bars (back in the day) and not much else to do. I can tell you, I was drunk in every single one of those bars at one point or other. To paraphrase Thomas Wolfe, you really can't go back. Just being back where I used to live felt, if nothing else, surreal. I described it to a friend there thusly: "It's like being somewhere you've never been but knowing where everything is". Everything changes...which is probably a good thing...but it was disconcerting to me just how much things had changed. Familiar storefronts bore strange names. The people in the streets looked different. Lots of my friends are gone, and those remai...

Yep...I cried. I'm man enough to admit it. If you're wondering why (and since you're reading this, I'll assume you do), I'll tell ya. One of my oldest and dearest friends lost his son over the weekend. My friend is obviously devastated. For once in my life, I'm at a loss as to what to say...if anything. I want so bad to be there for my friend, to try to find a way to comfort him. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and sorrow he is feeling. It's long been said that its not the natural order of things for a parent to outlive their children. I agree with that. Ever since I found out about my friend's son's passing over the weekend, I've been trying to figure out just what part of God's plan this could be. That's my nature. I figure things out. It's what I do. But this...I have no clue. I'll leave this in God's hands. Its how my faith works. In an effort to comfort my friend, I offered some verses from the Bible. While I am a...

I still miss you almost as much as I still love you. You visit me often in my dreams...and I listen, or at least try to. The world still has so much hate. And worse, people are even more self-important than ever. I cry to think that your death was for nothing. No one learned anything. I'm sitting here thinking of your smile, your laugh, your touch. The pain is still great but ten years later, its easing up a bit. Its being replaced with sad but sweet memories. I remember the day in the park when you were sewing up my favorite shirt and I was playing guitar. My car died in front of your house that night. I guess it was just another one of those signs that we were supposed to be, if at least for a little while. You were always so proud of the little accomplishments I made in life. More proud than I was. The look in your eyes when you would tell me how proud you were...the thought of it still leaves me paralyzed with love. My mind keeps going back to the moment I fell in love with you...

I'm usually not one to suggest products or suggest against products...unless I think they're really fantastic or utter pieces of crap. Well I'm here to tell ya, the Money Miser Coin Sorter SUCKS ROTTING ZOMBIE ASS! I've always been frugal...but don't take that as cheap . I work hard for my money and I like to save when/where I can. For the past few years (which from 2007-2010 were really tight), I've always kept a jar on the kitchen table, and when I get home at night (or in the morning as is the case most days) I dump whatever pocket change I have into said jar. I'd usually cash it in at Ye Olde Coinstar machine just before payday...in case I needed gas, lunch money, or just a night on the town. I would usually amass $60 or per month this way. This past year has been pretty decent financially so around May, I switched to a bigger jar. I hadn't taken anything OUT of the jar since around April. Well, the jar finally got so full (and so heavy I co...

With all of the bad news we regularly hear about politics, the economy, the weather, etc. sometimes we have to ignore it all and get back to basics. And by that, I mean being GOOD to each other. This week has been a bit unusual for me. I'm a man of limited means & my car broke down. Its looking to be an expensive fix. But I will handle that, as I have everything else thrown my way, in its own time. I have a good and more importantly, HONEST mechanic (Shout out to Sam Sr. & Sam Jr. @ Glenshaw Auto!). They've never let me down in 15+ years! But also this week, I've been trying to help 2 friends. One, who is in a world of emotional hurt. Her life is facing some immediate and definitely tough challenges. She often doesn't realize just how strong she is. She's faced some big challenges in the past and has always managed to surmount them. She is facing being homeless within the next few days. My heart goes out to her. She's at the end of her rope and finding i...

Really now, who wouldn't love a talking dog? So unique! A wonder! A mystery! But after a while, the novelty would probably wear off and you'd still have to feed it, take care of it, and clean up it's crap. But what about the talking dog? How would it feel? Sure, it would probably enjoy the attention...at first. But you'd think that all of the hullabaloo would become tiresome after a while. And talk about lonely! Other dogs would probably be standoffish...considering that a talking dog is somewhat a freak of nature. Oh yeah...and since the normal dogs can't talk, there would be a definite communication barrier. At what point, if any, would the talking dog feel normal...or at least at home? How would the talking dog differentiate between friends and curiosity seekers? How would the talking dog know who to trust? Mind you, being a talking dog could be an amazing thing. The talking dog would presumably have insights to the dog world. The talking dog could explain the my...

Allow me to preface this by saying I felt compelled to write it. I posted on my Facebook page my thoughts on Amy Winehouse's untimely death. I posted that I cannot shed a tear for someone who pisses away a beautiful life. All life is beautiful. Sadly, not everyone is able to realize this. My sister sent me a text today asking questions about my thoughts on this, so I felt the need to clarify a bit. Yes. There are some folks out there who feel so completely overwhelmed and alone that they opt for suicide. There are others who for whatever reasons, opt for slow self-destruction. Some are born with highly addictive natures. Just add chemicals and BAM! you have an addict. And let me tell you, addictions are hell. None of this changes my thoughts...and I'll tell you why. I fall into all of the categories above and guess what? I've survived. Am I stronger than most? God, I hope not because most days I see my weaknesses at the forefront. I first tried to commit suicide at age 4. I...

If you're unfamiliar with T-Model Ford, shame on you! T-Model is one of the last great Mississippi hill country bluesmen. If you enjoy the likes of R.L. Burnside or Junior Kimbrough, you'll dig T-Model Ford. The man has seen a lot in his 91 (yes! 91 years!) years. Married 5 times, in jail a bunch more and even spent time on a chain gang. He KNOWS the blues! He didn't even start playing guitar until he was 58. His then wife gave him a guitar and amp as a 'parting gift'. (someone obviously watched too many game shows!) On to the show! It was an oppressively hot night in Pittsburgh and the A/C at the Thunderbird did it's best to battle the heat. It was a losing battle. I think T-Model Ford made the room even hotter with his authentic Mississippi blues! And believe it or not, there were even a few black folks at the show! Not many but mind you, the Pittsburgh blues crowd seems to be made up mostly of aging white folks these days. John & Rick from the Pawnbrokers...

For the most part, I enjoy my job. I am blessed to work with some truly unique clients. I work long, crappy hours for not much money. I work in the mental health field...a career choice only for those insane enough themselves to want to do it. I'm lucky that in this horrendous economy, I even have a job! But...I'm seriously thinking it may be time to walk. My boss, who tends towards occasional bursts of downright idiocy, has hired some of the most useless lumps of human waste I've ever met. The one couldn't wait to start using her paid time off. She now abuses it. 2 of the others fight with everyone in the building...except me. They both learned better their 1st week. My boss is African. Than in itself is no problem. The problem I do see is her choice to keep hiring more Africans, even though the ones she hires seem to have zero qualifications. Favoritism much? Now the one gets to make her own schedule and every one else's. She is doing a LOUSY job of it. The newest...

My mother always taught me to be an individual; to be myself. I've always tried to follow that advice. I definitely dance to the beat of my own drum! But how many of us can honestly say this? Many of us like to think we're unique and individualistic but in reality most are slaves to conformity. You may think you're doing your own thing but are you? Corporations, the media, and even the government keep you enslaved. And they do it without you even noticing. Look at advertising. In urban neighborhoods, you'll see more advertisements for Newport and/or Kool cigarettes than Marlboros. In short, the cigarette companies are telling YOU what to smoke. Put on daytime television. Now there's some amazing advertising! Put on a show like Jerry Springer or Maury. Then watch the ads. You'll see lots of commercials for vocational schools. In short, your being told what your jobs will be. Sure, it could be said that the advertisers are merely reaching out for their target audi...

I was taking a long walk through my neighborhood the other night and saw this sign. I was admittedly gobsmacked when I saw it. Enough so that I had to take a picture of it just so I could be sure I really saw it. Now, just so you know, I don't live in any kinda of kooky neighborhood. No gangs, no snake handlers, not much of anything really. Shaler Township is a nice, quiet, BORING area. The church posting this sign is technically in Etna...not a particularly exciting area either...unless you count the flood some years back. The last few days this sign has really bothered me. No, I'm not against "obediance" but obediance to who? God? Sure, all for it. The government and it's agencies on the other hand, I'm all for disobediance. This country has slid a bit too far to the right and is pretty much becoming a third world nation for it. I take this sign as meaning "OBEY and you'll be left alone". I don't relish that thought one bit. It strikes me a...

Thanks to Tracey and Jim for inspiring this. So you want to be an entertainer (singer, musician, DJ, comedian, etc...), well good for you. Now that you've decided to reach for this lofty goal, allow me (with 30+ years experience) to clue you to reality. I don't care what it is in life you hope to achieve...but if YOU don't place a value on YOUR talents, no one else will. Let's face facts, those that 'purchase' in the entertainment industry are not just the patrons in the clubs or those who buy CDs, download mp3s, etc. The REAL purchasers are the club owners, promoters, etc. that YOU essentially work for. So much for that idea of being "self employed". You ALWAYS work for SOMEONE. Unless someone is willing to PAY you for your time, you are an amateur. Not that that's bad. Amateur comes from latin, meaning to do something for the love of it. And that's cool too! But this piece is for those who want to make money from their talents. Unless you liv...

I love old movies. Way back in the glorious days of B&W, there was at least an attempt to make an original film. Sure...there were sequels (Son of Frankenstein, etc...) but they were usually decent. So, as yesterday was a dreary, rainy Sunday, I decided to watch John Waters' films on Netflix. At one point during a lecture/documentary, Waters mentioned the film " The Bad Seed ". I figure if John Waters is bragging it up, I have to see this movie! How have I lived 45 years without seeing this movie???????? It was amazing!!!!!! And to think it was filmed in 1956!!!!!!! Wanna know why this movie isn't a household name? (OK, it did receive some recognition )Because when it came out, I can pretty much guarantee ya it was slammed for being too disturbing! Needless to say, I loved every minute of it. The young'un, however, did not. I'll give her credit...she made it through the 1st half hour. Normally she runs screaming when I put on an old B&W movie. OK, may...

Yeppers kids! It's almost Mikesmas! And you know what that means!!!!!!!! LOL And now, a lil something to help you get in the Mikesmas spirit! 'Twas the night before Mikesmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even the cats; The beercans were flung on the floor without care, In hopes that a french maid soon would be there; The cats were nestled all snug in the couch, While each had visions of fricassied mouse; some bimbo in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, were each taking turns giving each other the clap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen rain Gave the lustre of Yuengling to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a 94 Olds, and eight tiny cold beers, With a little old driver, cute as a tyke, I knew in a moment it must be Memphis Mike...