With God as my witness, I thought it was a joke. A prank. It began with a couple of messages left on my voicemail. "This is Special Agent (NAME REDACTED) from the FBI. I need to speak with you. I can be reached at (TELEPHONE NUMBER REDACTED)." After the first message, I figured it was either a prank or a wrong number. To my knowledge, I hadn't done anything (lately) that would put me in the view of the FBI. So, I dismissed it. Also, the agent's name sounded - for lack of a better word - fake. I thought to myself, Self, whose parents would name their child that ? Then I received another voicemail. Same agent. Same request. Same callback number. Now I was sure this was someone pranking me. Who could it be? Which of my friends could pull off a stunt like this? I didn't recognize the voice, but voices can be faked. I'm admittedly a slob. Housework… tidying up… is not my forte. If left on my own, I tend to adhere to Quentin Crisp's philosophy on the s...
When I was a kid, we had an already ancient Royal typewriter at home. Book reports, certain schoolwork, or in my case, just for making noise. Mom had a nice electric typewriter that she used for work. But that old Royal - that's probably where my love of writing began. - MM I was thinking about my old typewriter last night. Writing was serious back then. Forty pounds of steel, keys, and ribbon. No batteries. No updates. No distractions. Just you and the machine. And that machine fought back. Type too fast and the keys would jam together like two drunks fighting in a bar. Type too slowly or too lightly and it might just decide you didn’t really need that letter or that word. Sometimes it felt like the thing had opinions. Like it was quietly judging you. You learned quickly. You learned rhythm. You learned pressure. You learned patience. It was like a built-in editor made of steel and stubbornness. Made a mistake? Start over. Or, if you didn’t mind your work looking like hell, dab s...