My 1st print book now exists. What a strange way to put it. I've always enjoyed writing, even when I was a kid and it wasn't cool. Honestly, I never thought I'd do anything with it. It was just another outlet for all of the ideas banging around in my head. For decades, a lot of these thoughts became songs. Now I've returned to the simplicity of words. I write because I enjoy telling stories - pretty much the same with songwriting. The only difference is that now I don't have to go on a stage or into a recording studio. There I days I miss both, but who knows...maybe one day I'll do it all again.
Writers write for different reasons. Some for acclaim or notoriety. Some for profit. Same as with music, painting, sculpting, acting - I think those goals are a matter of seeking validation. But for what? Doing what you enjoy is validation enough. For years I've written this blog. In some ways, it's the perfect medium for me. I do it, it's done, published, and I move on to the next thing. Thousands of people, I've found, read it. While that's nice, it's not why I do it. I'm not under the misconception that anything I write will actually change anything. The only change is that the words are now out of my head and in a format where other people can read them. This is not my first book, however. I recorded an audiobook for a friend, some years back. She was moving from Darwin to Sydney and wanted something to listen to on the flight. So, I cobbled together a bunch of stories, hit record, added a little music, and voila! STORYTIME.
I won't lie. Holding a real book with my name on it does feel a little special. What I probably enjoy more is that I did it all myself. I wrote every word, edited it, formatted it, I even designed the cover. I made a brief attempt at going the traditional publishing route. I spoke with a few literary agents. What I found is that the publishing industry is no different than the music industry. It's filled with petty people with dubious talent all working together to exploit the work of others. Not really my scene. I never signed a recording contract, and I doubt I'll ever sign with a publishing house. In this day and age, it's just not necessary.
A publisher will do the following: They'll attempt to either validate your writing (stroke that ego!) or invalidate it (imagine a fragile ego being carted off to the emergency room, covered in bruises). They will suggest/insist on edits. This is too short. This is too long. They don't like this word or that. In the end, it's no longer the writer's original work. The wild beast has been tamed. Publishers, as a business model, try to manage the risk they enter into. From a purely business point of view, this makes sense. But that's putting all of the emphasis on business, not the art of writing. Publishing houses, like any business, are salesmen. It's their job to sell things. A good salesman can sell anything. They don't need to redesign a house or a car or a can of soda pop to sell it. When the business model revolves around micromanaging a product to fit the mass market, it eventually fails - simply because the tastes and preferences of the market change. I've read copies of the same book, marketed to different countries, that became totally different books. In one case, it was a biography! The man's life story was changed just in order to sell copies to people who probably weren't going to read it anyway.
Like I said, I edit my own work. I look for the typos, stray punctuation, and often shorten the stories into a more concise read. Not always, but sometimes. There are times the story grows longer during the editing process. That said, I don't write in a vacuum.
I have a few friends (wife included) who, thankfully, trust my writing enough to read my latest weird ideas. Their feedback is immeasurable. Most importantly, I trust them. If I feel I have to explain what I wrote, I know I need to rewrite it. Possibly the greatest compliment was from a friend in Bulgaria. I translated one of my stories and asked for her input. She's an expert on the subject matter. She read it, offered her opinion ("Scary!") and informed me that she really enjoyed my writing style. I knew I'd done my best at that point.
My new book, BODIES, is self-published through Barnes and Noble. It's a collection of short stories, and they're all pretty dark. I rarely enjoy what has become of the horror genre these days. It's all become predictable. i try to write stories that a reader will feel creeping into their bones, like a chill. I enjoy making something out of the seemingly mundane. Imagine you're walking down a street. The old lady waiting for the bus - maybe she poisoned her husband twenty years ago. Maybe the guy in the gray suit, picking up a copy of the Wall Street Journal at the newsstand, is a serial killer. A whole lot of maybes, what ifs, and ultimately 'then what?'. There's the story!
I like the idea of self-publishing. A lot of writers have done it, and many more still do. Poe did it, and it was more of an undertaking then. Poe was a brilliant writer, and all these years later he's still remembered for it. He only ever made about $50 for his writing. So yeah, profit is never the reason to do it.
With self-publishing, I have control over my work. The second the ink is dry on a contract, that control is lost. The work, then, essentially belongs to someone else. It might as well be a work-for-hire situation. To me, that'd be like selling one of my kids (if I had kids). No matter how potentially lucrative, it's just not for me.
Self-publishing does have its drawbacks. I'm currently dealing with B&N's timeline. According to their website, my book is out-of-stock. Um, what? This is just typical digital rollout gremlins. I've built and designed enough web sites in my life to understand. B&N is large enough that one would think they're above that - but guess again. Profits over people, risk management - all the buzz words apply.
For me, it's enough to say that this book is finished, published, and ready for mass consumption - once B&N sorts its spot on the sales website. I'm not concerned with sales. I'm happy that I've done it (and I'll do it again!). Would it be wonderful if it was a smash hit? Sure, I guess. I'd rather people read it because they enjoy the stories. What I'm most pleased to announce is that at least one library (in Australia, of all places!) already plans to put it on their shelves! To me, this is where books live their best lives. To think that some stranger, who I'll probably never meet, one day sits down, reads my book, and (hopefully) enjoys it - this means the world to me. If that stranger is anything like me, they'll spend some time thinking about what they read, and maybe, try to imagine the guy who wrote it. At least that's what I always do. It's why I love biographies.
So, what's next? (you might be asking) I have two more collections locked and loaded, as well as my first novel. If all goes to plan, they'll all be available in the next few months. Nothing like creating the myth that I'm, in some way, prolific! The reality is, I'm always writing. In fact, I've started my next novel. It's about a cockroach. Then there's the other three I've started - and shelved. I'll dig back into them at some point.
Last night, I watched an interview with the late Anthony Burgess, author of A Clockwork Orange. He gave my new favorite quote:
"Writing is the last resort of people who can't do anything else."
Yep, pretty much sums it up.
I'll leave you with a quote from one of my stories (BREAKFAST):
"A book is only dangerous if someone reads it."

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