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Fat Girls, Mini Bikes, and PatriotEagle420


 I woke up this morning, made coffee, and before I even got a sip in, I was already being informed that something - somewhere - was unacceptable.

No context. No details. Just the digital equivalent of a stranger bursting into your kitchen yelling:

“THIS IS NOT OK.”

What is it?

Nobody knows.

But we’re furious.

Because in 2026, outrage isn’t a reaction - it’s a hobby.


People don’t wake up wondering what they’re going to do anymore.

They wake up wondering what they’re going to be mad about.

“Give us this day our daily grievance.”

And when they find it - and they always do - they gather.

Not to understand. Not to fix.

To perform.

You’ve got the Outraged.

The Counter-Outraged.

The Late Arrivals, somehow the angriest of all.

And of course, PatriotEagle420, who hasn’t read a full sentence since 2008 but is absolutely certain this is tyranny.

Meanwhile, the one poor bastard asking, “Wait… what actually happened?” gets treated like he just farted in church.

Now here’s the part nobody wants to admit:

Most of this isn’t about principle.

It’s about approval.

It’s about making sure the crowd - your friends, your followers, your little digital jury - knows you’re on the “right side of history.”

Which brings us to a universal truth that deserves to be taught in schools, but won’t be because it would solve too many problems:


Fat girls and mini bikes.


Both are a hell of a good time…

right up until you start worrying about what somebody else is gonna think.

And just like that, the joy evaporates.

Replaced by self-consciousness, hesitation, and the creeping fear that somewhere, somehow, someone might laugh at you.

So instead of enjoying your life, you start managing your image.

You don’t say what you think - you say what will be approved.

You don’t believe things - you subscribe to them.

You don’t live - you curate.

And if that means joining a mob over something you barely understand?

Well...better that than being the one guy who didn’t boo.

Of course, because we’ve completely lost the plot, we’ve decided the solution is government.

Naturally.

Because when your social circle might disapprove of your opinions, the obvious next step is to involve a massive bureaucracy with the power to enforce them.

“Hello, yes, I’d like to report a disagreement. Please send legislation.”

And politicians - bless their opportunistic little black hearts - see this and think:

Oh, this is fantastic.

They don’t have to fix anything.

They just have to point.

“Those people are the problem.”

“Give me power and I’ll handle it.”

Handle it.

Like society’s a leaky faucet and they’ve got a wrench.

And people eat it up, because controlling others feels a whole lot easier than controlling yourself.

But here’s the punchline:

If you stopped worrying so much about what other people think…

Half of this nonsense disappears overnight.

No mobs.

No performance outrage.

No desperate need to prove you’re morally superior to a guy named PatriotEagle420 who thinks Wi-Fi causes socialism.

Just people...living.

Enjoying things.

Disagreeing like adults and then going about their day.

So here’s a radical idea:

If nobody’s getting hurt - mind your own damned business.

Live your life.

Ride who or what you want to ride.

And if somebody laughs?

Let them.

Because the only thing worse than being laughed at...

Is spending your entire life trying to avoid it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got coffee to finish.

And I’m sure, somewhere out there, something is still not OK.

It can wait.

Oh, and half of the crap you see online is courtesy of bots. 

So there’s a decent chance you’ve been trying to impress a toaster.

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