I've been hearing from some of my former classmates about trying to arrange a 30 year reunion. Unlike a lot of people, I enjoy these. While I hated school (God, it was boring), I believe I was liked by my peers. Through the magic of the internet and social networking, I still hear from a number of them. They all are still pretty convinced that I'm clinically insane...but that just goes to show you...some things never change.
I like to believe that I still hold the same core values that I did way back when. My auntie always taught me "we do right because it is right". Probably some of the best advice I've ever heard. I've always found it best to give people the benefit of a doubt. Few people are inherently bad. Sure, some people are assholes...hell, I'm sure there are people out there who think I'm one...but all in all, I think most people are pretty good.
When I think about reunions, my mind always goes back to my 20th high school reunion. It was 2004...a pretty wild year for me, really. I had just come back from Australia and had a sizeable chunk of cash in the bank; I started my own business and was working like a mad man. My best friend was (and still is) a drag queen. We had a running joke about me taking my friend, in drag, to the reunion. I'm pretty sure my class mates, for the most part, would have freaked out. I love to freak people out.
Alas, my friend had a show booked, and as I was single at the time, I went solo. I met up with an old friend, George, at the hotel bar, and we got caught up a bit. After a few drinks, we went in to mingle with the rest of the old crew. I recognized most of the faces...but admittedly had some difficulty with the names. That was a holdover from the great 2002 coma. I had the brain working well...just not completely remapped yet.
Sitting alone, in a corner at the back of the room, was a tall, good-looking blonde gal. Honestly, I only noticed because my friends all kept asking if I had any idea who she was. I've had nothing but bad luck with blondes...so I seem to tune them out. We all wondered if she was with someone, or maybe worked for the hotel...we just had no clue. I'll admit though, she was very attractive. I caught her looking at me a few times and every time I did, she gave me a sly smile.
I have a pretty strict No Blondes Rule. I could write a book on the bad luck I've had with blondes. Sure, it always starts out great...then it goes seriously wrong, quickly. That said, attractive as she was, and while yes, she was staring at me (I'd guessed it was because I was under dressed for the occasion...it was summer, I was wearing shorts, not a tie...go figure), I was not going to go strike up a conversation.
I had taken a seat and was catching up with one of my many former classmates when we noticed the tall, good-looking blonde get up and start walking over to me. With my mind being the weird mess of misfiring neurons that it is, I started wondering WHY she was coming over. Did I know her? Did we used to date? Was she a one night stand? Was she the mother of a kid I didn't know I had? Was she about to serve me a subpoena? What?????? Finally, she was standing right next to, and just smiling. That moment was a combination of curiosity, fear, and intrigue for me.
"You don't know who I am, do you?" she asked. I put my glasses on and gave her a long, intense look...trying to recognize her. Seriously, she was good looking. How could I forget a woman that looked this good? She was tall, great body, great smile, gorgeous eyes, nice tan...damn my brain! Why can't it work like it used to?????? Finally, I had to admit that I, indeed, did not know who she was. I was waiting for a horror story...she's the mother of my kid and I owe some serious back child support, or something along those lines. I was getting ready to explain my coma, the ensuing brain damage, etc. when she said:
"It's me! Tonya! I wanted you to know that the only reason I came here today was to see you! And to say Thank You!"
To say I was stunned would be an underestimation. My damaged brain was trying desperately to form connections. Tonya...Tonya who? Tall, thin, good-looking blonde Tonya...who? When? How did I know her? Then it hit me. It was Tonya S. A gal I knew from junior high and high school. Truly, one of the sweetest people I have ever known. However, Tonya had changed...and how!
Tonya had always been tall. And blonde. That much hadn't changed...but in school, she was also a very big girl. She was well past heavy. She was also strong as a bull ox. I remember in a phys ed class we had together, she could bench press twice what most of the guys could. Being such a big gal, a lot of kids picked on her and made fun of her. Personally, I always thought that was just shitty. I was a short fat kid, with a speech impediment, so I knew firsthand what that was like. By high school, I had discovered amphetamines which had not only helped me slim down, but also helped my speech.
I stammered. Bad. Just like my father. What happens with a person who stammers is, the brain is working faster than the mouth can keep up. Let me tell you, my brain was always going a mile-a-minute...still is. Speed enabled my mouth to keep up with the brain...and I spoke clearly for probably the first time in my life.
Tonya was, however, still a big girl in high school. And kids were still, often, rude to her.
At the reunion, Tonya informed me that she had wanted to say Thank You for all the times I stood up for her. I would never allow anyone to speak ill of her...especially not in my presence. In high school, I had a reputation as a guy who liked to fight. Truth be told, I enjoyed it. I had lots of extra energy thanks to the pills and the insane amounts of Mt. Dew I lived on. I was opinionated and short-tempered...so fighting seemed a natural outlet to me. It also caused me to be expelled for an entire semester my sophomore year. I admittedly smacked a few guys around for talking bad about Tonya.
She really was about the sweetest kid I knew. Soft spoken, always thinking about nice things in life. I won't say we were particularly close...we weren't. I wasn't close with many people then...I'm still not. I play my cards close to the chest in life. Making up for the years that I couldn't speak well, I make up for lost time...I'll talk your ear off! I'll make sure the conversation is interesting...but you won't get close to me. At least most folks won't. But Tonya...she was sweet and had an innocence about her. She was angelic in her own way...and I wouldn't let anyone pick on her. I do remember that. I didn't like anyone making fun of people, especially not for things they can't help. That's just wrong to me.Sure, if someone is malicious or acts out just to get attention, let the mudslinging commence! But if someone appears different just because that's how they are...back off!
To this day, I tend to befriend the underdogs of the world. We're all in that boat at some point, and no one should ever feel alone just because they are who they are.
At that 20 year reunion, I sat and talked with Tonya for probably the better part of an hour or so. She had to leave early, so I walked her to her car. She gave me a series of big hugs and kept telling me how happy she was to see me again. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and did manage to keep in contact for a while. But life gets in the way sometimes. Anyone past the age of 30 knows that. It's not an excuse, just a fact of life.
I heard that Tonya died a few years ago. She'd had some health problems...I knew that. But she was always such a positive person. Even the last few times I heard from her, between health problems, family issues, etc., times when she really could've been down...she wasn't.
Be nice to people. It's not that difficult. And...it pays off in the long run.
"It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice." - Dave Courtney, British gangster
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