The Great Holiday OOPS!

As usual, we here at The Metzger Ranch For Wayward Weirdos enjoyed yet another beautiful, quiet, Christmas holiday. We hope that you did as well. According to the media (our very own purveyors of doom), most of you didn't.

The reason? UPS, FedEx and the United States Post Office FAILED! Their failure? Not delivering that item you ordered on December 22 by Christmas Day!!!!!!

If you ask me, the failure is the shopper's, not the carriers'. And why is this, you may be asking?

Simple. For starters, you didn't plan very well. Take some responsibility. You knew Christmas was coming. It's the same time every year. December 25th. It's one of the few holidays that we Americans don't arbitrarily change just to make sure that it gives us a 3 day weekend.  Oh sure, you wanted to take advantage of the ever-dropping prices, the sales, etc. That's just being greedy, on your part. Not enough money? Learn to work within a budget. I'm the most broke-ass person I know and I still managed to amaze my better half with a pile O presents. I can fully understand wanting the most bang for your buck, but if you can't afford something; you can't afford it. I've always wanted a Martin D-45, but I can pretty much guarantee that it will always remain out of my price range.

In your last minute scavenging for great prices, you also listened to the 4th biggest lie ever told (fans of David Allen Coe are familiar with the first three)..."We'll have it delivered to your house no later than Christmas Day!" If you believed this...shame on you.  The retailers, whether they be online or brick & mortar, know that they can rope you in with this lie. They're not the ones actually delivering it, so they can pass the buck O guilt on to the carrier. And once again, many people fell for it. Christmas is RUINED because little Dylan or Brhianna or Cooper or Bethany didn't get that THING in time for Xmas. Santa has been outed as a fraud. Blah blah blah...

I have friends and family that work for the Post Office, UPS, FedEx, and various mail/parcel handling services. It's not easy work. They know that December and the first half of January, they're going to get slammed. And guess what, they do everything in their power to get that THING to you within as reasonable a time frame as possible. Just because someone paid extra does not guarantee that miracles will happen.

I'll actually leave out the part I was going to write about what Christmas is really about. No one wants to hear/read that shit. People want PRESENTS! STUFF! THINGS! Neatly wrapped in colorful paper and with a bow on it! (I didn't use a single bow this year)

It might be time to look backward for ideas for next year. These have always worked before for most folks, so why wouldn't they work now?

* Start setting aside a small amount of money every week or pay check for Christmas. It doesn't have to be a lot. Maybe $5 per person on your shopping list. This will give you in the neighborhood of $200 per person for next Xmas (minus whatever you take out during the year, fully planning to replace it but never doing so). That can be a fair amount of money! Anything extra, sure...use the plastic.

* Start Christmas shopping earlier. I swear, my stepmother is one to start Xmas shopping on Dec. 26. All year long, if she sees something that someone on her list would like, she usually buys it and sets it aside. I do something similar...I buy it...and just give it to the person. Usually for no reason other than "I saw this and thought you would enjoy it."  Call me crazy.

* Ignore the media. Their job is to make you feel worthless if you don't spend more this year than you did last year. Their job is to wind you up for The Black Friday Battlefield. You WILL slam your cart into someone else's! You will tackle someone over a THING. The corporations that make the THINGS pay the media to this...just so you can provide a Stuff-Filled Holiday Memory to someone else. Your memory, however, will most likely be that monthly reminder in the form of bill after bill coming through the letterbox.

Just a thought...while gearing up for Christmas 2014, take 5 minutes and look up the origins of "Xmas". There is no War On Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with any of the crap I wrote. I won't go into detail (I'm sure I'd offend someone). But just stop for a minute. Breathe. And think back to YOUR favorite, childhood, Christmas memory and ask...are you making these memories for anyone today?

Don't fall for the OOPS.