The Real Memphis Mike (don't settle for imitations)

So many people seem up in arms over the recent influx of immigrant children from Central America. WTF? First off, they're CHILDREN!!!!! Sadly, there are a lot of them. Imagine their lives. To be sent, alone, across the miles, the desert, to a strange land...where certain people don't want them. We, as a society, should be ashamed of ourselves.  The US has always welcomed immigrants. Why anyone would want to come to here anymore is beyond me. This country is a mess. I know it and you know it. So, just think how bad these kids' worlds are that this place seems like a better option. I come from immigrants. Chances are, you do too. And before you pull that "My great great great grandmother was 1/16 Cherokee!" story, I'm going to call bullshit. You better be able to prove it...otherwise, shut the hell up. If your great great great grandmother was alive, not only would she be really old, she'd probably be disappointed in you.  America, for all it's f...

Many of you have suggested that I write a book about my life...and I have been working on it. Slowly. Very slowly. Anyhoo, this short tale may help explain the title a bit.... Having a heart attack is highly overrated. I don't recommend it for anyone. Worst of all, it wasn't anything like you see in movies. I was expecting the whole Fred Sanford moment, clutching at my chest and calling out "I'm coming home, Lord a-mighty I'm coming home!" No such luck. The day started pretty awful. I had been out late the night before to see a friend's band, in from California. I had been working 60-70 hour weeks and truly pushing myself to the limit.  I woke up late and seriously, I felt like shit. A gal I had been dating had a really bad cold/bug, and she kept whining that it felt like she had a brick in her chest. I figured this is all it was, and I was mentally making plans to make her life hell for passing this malady on to me. I only had one client to see ...

As many of you know (although some may not), I am an ordained Christian minister. I have been for about 12 years.  I don't flaunt this, nor will I ever preach in a church or from a pulpit. That's not my calling. I am, however, still the same guy you've always known or thought you've known. I am, still, just me. Loud, weird, goofy, and anything else you've ever thought of me. This is simply one more part of me. The Supreme Court's ruling in the Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby Stores  upset me more than anything in a long time. It was the first step on a very slippery slope towards a neo-Christian, hate-filled, judgemental theocracy. An American Taliban, if you will. You might think I'm overreacting, but I assure you, I'm not. This legal precedent will open the doors for all sorts of nonsense. It's only a matter of time before corporations will claim their religious rights, and then what next? The right to only hire people of a certain ____? Give this some...

Thank you to the U.S. Supreme Court for taking us another step towards the end. A few years ago, I read that one of the cable channels was planning a series called America Town. The premise being that one day, in the not too horribly distant future, the US, as we've come to know it, would be a memory. Many of it's citizens would have emigrated to other countries, looking for a better way of life. The series never even made it to production (that I know of) and I've never been able to find the article again...so here's my take on it. Imagine a slum in an un-named European city. This is one of the America Towns...not unlike Chinatown or Little Italy in many large US cities. The difference being that it is populated by former American citizens who have fled their homeland looking for a better, happier life in a more tolerant nation.  Walking through America Town, one would probably smell hamburgers and hot dogs cooking. The residents would be fat and badly dressed. P...

If you've been following the continuing saga I call LIFE, you may have noticed I haven't seriously played guitar in a while. A lot of reasons for this. I've been busy doing other stuff tops the list. I went on an insane writing jag for a few months and sort of burned myself out comes in a close second. I just haven't felt like it rounds out the top three. Well, I'm getting that itch to play again. You know what that means! Time to get loud! Time to round up Robbo & JD and attempt to make some noise. Who knows, we might be coming to a joint near you. I've also been down. Yeah, it happens. No need to cry and wring hands or anything. I've been sitting on a finished CD for 4 friggin' years. I just don't know what to do with it. CDs? They don't sell well anymore. Downloads? Are you fucking kidding me? That is the biggest racket in the world! There is NO WAY to account for what is/isn't being sold...and I don't know about YOU, bu...

I've learned to loathe Mikey and that damned Life cereal commercial.... I wound up having the day off...and I'm sitting here trying to think of what to make for dinner. I'm actually craving stuff that I know I can't easily find. I could really go for a nice Cornish pasty , or a cold pork pie , or any number of delicious treats I've had in my travels...but my options in the pantry are limited. I could make some chorizo, I know I have that in the freezer. Thinking about food has me thinking about some of the foods I've eaten, and how friends in different cultures view them. It's odd, really, when one takes into account societal viewpoints on food. Food is fuel. It serves the purpose of keeping our bodies running. It can also be delicious, fun to prepare, and made to look fancy! But...really, why do people get so bent out of shape about certain foods? Sure, the Bible says not to eat certain things, for various reasons...and I'm sure other religions have...

I see so many of my friends excited about Father's Day. They tell amazing stories about their dad and happy family life growing up. That's all a mystery to me. Don't get me wrong. I love my dad. He's a great man. However, as I've always said, our family put the funk in dysfunctional. We just do NOT, as a general rule, get along. You can put two of us in the same room, and we'll get on fine. Any more than that...look out. I'm sure dad wanted to be there for us. The reality of it, he was too busy working 16+ hour days, 6-7 days a week, saving lives. Dad was a cardiologist...and the only one in the area. Generations of big-eating steel worker families gave dad more work than he could handle! This left dad a grumpy, exhausted mess most of the time. I often joke that dad was the grumpy SOB I'd see every other Sunday. As a kid, I didn't understand all of this. He could seem distant. Reality was, he was exhausted and seriously overworked. By age 5, I ...