The Real Memphis Mike (don't settle for imitations)

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!!!! 7th YEAR!!!!!! I post this every year. Why? Because some folks ask for it....also because I like it. I hope you will too. We probably shouldn't need a holiday to remind us to be thankful for whatever we have...but I'm glad we do. So with out further adieu.... Thanksgivus Thanksgivus: that's what she called it. The 'she' in question would be a very short, loud, middle aged black woman with retardation who I supervised for years. Her name is Omega...fitting because she truly is THE END! Omega didn't exactly have a speech problem but I think her hearing wasn't 100% on the mark, as certain words would get slurred together such as "Thanksgivus". Another fave was her version of Social Security, which often sounded more like "sociable secretary" (of which I've known a few). Thanksgivus (which is what I now prefer to call the US holiday Thanksgiving) is the last Thursday of November (this is for my over...

If you're a musician, or have ever gone to see a live band, chances are you've heard some drunk yell for the band to play FREEBIRD!!!!!! 99.99974658% of all bands will say no. (proof that God loves us) If YOU are that person...stop it. If you want to hear FREEBIRD!!!!!!!!!! so damned much, go home and crank up your 8-track. The rest of the civilized world doesn't want to hear anyone other than Lynyrd Skynyrd play that damned song...and most of us don't even want to hear that. I say this not because it's something that I have to deal with often but because it's 2012 and people still do it. Every bit as bad is when people in the audience think that the band onstage knows every single song ever written and can/will/wants to attempt to perform them all. My personal favorite was once when we were playing at a street festival and a gal of around 18 or so came up to me to ask if we do any Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey?????   I had to call her out in front of th...

Tuesday night, Obama won re-election. This is neither news (now) nor a surprise to anyone with a functioning brain. He was the better of the two (main) candidates, and he won the election. Early Wednesday morning, I heard (via the interweb) that a neighbor was considering flying the flag, OUR flag, upside down in protest. I told this person (again, via the interweb) that if that were to happen, I would be more than happy to come over and fix it. I chalked it up to election night mania. I mean really...who in their right mind would be so disrespectful of OUR flag to actually do such a thing. Then came the news. This was not a random, isolated thought. It appears to be a conspiracy of like-minded folks...aka, The Tea Party...the uber right wing fanatical pawns of the Republican Party. It's pretty much a given that Teabillies are less-than-correctly informed. They like to believe they are informed because they give credence to the fear mongers who play on their deepest collectiv...

Here's a list of things I never said as a kid (and I doubt any other kid has either): "I can't wait to have a mountain of bills so I can struggle to pay them!" "I hope I grow up to have a boss who treats me like crap and refuses to see my potential!" "I hope I can work 80 hours a week to make someone else rich!" "Playing is useless! I'd rather work all the time!" "I hope I can grow up to be old and stressed out and have an ulcer!" I heard a song on the radio today by a young singer named Brandi Carlile. It's called "Keep Your Heart Young" and I'd like to dedicate it to so many of my friends, colleagues, and contemporaries who have somehow managed to age themselves to the point of becoming crabby, stuffy old people! I don't know how y'all managed it but I do hope you can find a way to slow it down. I don't really feel old...and at 46, I don't really think I am. I enjoy life. I w...

Back in 1977, when I was all of "10 3/4" years of age (I was always such a little weirdo!), we had an assignment in school to write a paragraph about what we though life in the year 2000 would be like. The local paper printed a bunch of them, including mine.  As is often the case, my past has come back to haunt me! An old friend, today, sent me a link to an online article on Smithsonian.com where someone has dug up these artifacts and in retrospect, we kids weren't horribly far off. Knowing all of these kids, their writing denotes a lot about their personalities and mindsets...again, mine included. I really was such a weirdo (as my sister often likes to remind me). I could've sworn that I wrote a longer, more in depth piece...but whatever...here's what the writer put in their piece on us Kids of 1977: " In the year 2000 I will be 34 years old. And actually I don’t think kids will have to go to school, because I believe that families will have compu...

I was thinking today about one time when I was little and our mum took us to the carnival. This was, to my knowledge, the last time a REAL carnival, complete with sideshows, was ever in Steubenville. I was maybe 6 or 7 yrs old. This was back when the annual carnival would set up down along the side of the old Mr. Wigg's store down in Hollywood Plaza. They had all the usual rides like the Tilt-A-Whirl and The Octopus (which may be the root cause of my acrophobia - once while riding it with my aunt, my shoe came off and hit some guy in the head!) , fried junk food, and games of chance (our brother Bill always excelled at these!)...but what caught my attention was the sideshow. I remember they had a "mummy" on exhibit (which even to my childish mind looked fake!), a Fiji mermaid (which looked to me like someone sewed a dead monkey to a fish!), a few display cases with embalmed 2 headed critters, and LIVE IN PERSON, The Monkey Lady. I was mesmerized by her "perform...

There's a new show called Nashville. I doubt I'll ever watch it. Having spent a fair bit of time there, I'll stay content with the real thing. I always preferred Memphis, anyway. From 2002 - 2004, I spent a lot of time in Tennessee, most of it in the small town of Linden. Most of you have probably never heard of Linden, and there's really no reason you should have. It's a nice little town with a population of about 1000 or so. It's the county seat of Perry County. I remember when they put in that second traffic light! What makes a town like Linden special and memorable is the people. Sure, it's beautiful country down there. If you like the outdoors and country living, its the kind of place you'll love. For me, it will always be about the people. One of my very good friends, a term I don't use lightly, lives there. His name is Billy Poore. If you're a fan of rockabilly music, then his name is probably known to you. In his 68+ years, he's...