A friend found out that I'm a Christian and an ordained minister. She honestly didn't believe it. It took a while to convince her, as well as convince her that yes, some Christians do have a sense of humor. I've long held the belief that God must have a sense of humor. Just look at the platypus! Either the Almighty has a great sense of humor, or He really likes smoking pot.
And on the 9th Day, He burned a fatty, looked around and thought, "Gosh...what would happen if I mixed some duck parts with beaver parts, and made it poisonous?!"..and then reached for the bag of Divine Doritos.
OK...maybe ALL Christians don't share my exact sense of humor...but then again, I loathe cheese. You'd be surprised at the number of people who are certain that I'm the anti-Christ because of that.
My big question is this: why are so many people always busy trying to put down my faith? I don't force it on anyone. I don't run around quoting scripture. I can...but I don't. My Swiss cheese brain often gets the numbers mixed up anyway.
I, like most Christians, see my beliefs as a sense of faith...faith in humanity, if you will. We see it as a philosophy. The Bible, as we know it, has been translated, re-translated, and edited numerous times. We can't even begin to say what exactly is supposed to be in it...except for the basic gist - be nice to each other. That's pretty much it.
The Bible is a book of parables. These are stories with a moral lesson. Some of them are pretty far out. Some are downright creepy. But if you read the whole thing, you get the idea. Be nice to each other. Persevere in being nice, even against the odds.
OK, sure...some Christians believe that The Bible is the unerring word of God. He sent down the almighty ballpoint pen and told a bunch of guys to start writing and what to write. No...probably not the case. More like, as in most histories, myths, and legends, it was handed down word of mouth from one to another. Ever play telephone as a kid? If so, you get the idea. Again...parables...gist of the message...be nice to each other.
I often see people posting articles about the historic accuracy of the Bible. Comparisons are made between Christian theology and other religions. Oh my, the brouhahas started by it! Atheists, agnostics, and those of other faiths love to jump in on this....why? Aside from the sheer rudeness of it...it's kind of stupid. Why is anyone, in this day and age, that concerned with how another person thinks, acts, or believes?
Look. I have my faith. I don't need anyone to validate it for me. I believe what I believe...for my own reasons. I take my faith very seriously...again, for my own reasons. Should I be proven wrong...oh well. I spent most of my life being nice to people. Oh my goodness...how awful! Just think how mean I could have been! Sorry...not an appealing thought to me.
OK OK OK...a lot of people here in America have issues with politicians mixing religion into government. Believe it or not...no one has a bigger issue with that than I do. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. PERIOD. But guess what. Almost every single politician that YOU have voted for has used religion to get elected. If you have a problem with it...take it up with them...not with Christianity. Real Christians are all for helping people...not bombing the shit out of 3rd world countries so we have easier access to oil. It is not our faith that pads the bank accounts of military contractors.
Real Christians don't wave signs saying that God hates anyone. First off, it's not our place to assume what He does/doesn't hate. It's not our place to assume to know what He thinks about anything. We just try to do right because it is right...as my auntie always said.
Again...what's the big problem? Why do so many people have a problem with Christianity? I think that healing the sick, feeding/clothing/housing the poor and hungry, and generally being nice to people is a good way to go. Naive? Hardly. I've lived a harder life than most of you will ever imagine. I even know what happens when we die...because I was declared dead once. (that's a story for another time)
I don't tell anyone what they should believe. I do allow my faith to dictate many of my actions. Trust me, there are many times when I would enjoy nothing more than to crack some of you upside the head with a 2x4...but I don't. My faith dictates that I don't do that...or at least try really hard NOT to do that. Hey...I'm only human. I make mistakes. My faith tells me that I will be, eventually, forgiven.
Christianity, as we know it, is about 2000 years old. Islam is about 1400 years old. A lot happened in that 600 years...one of the things being better detailed records. There's your historic accuracy. Also, numerous so-called scholars have likened the story of Jesus to an older deity. Some will cry COPYCAT! Or...just maybe, it's a continuation of an older story. Perhaps Christianity is older than we know. Going back to the oral histories, maybe the names got changed, along with a few dates, and other details. I likened oral histories to playing telephone. We go by the gist of the message, not the exact words.
Words are funny things. Most languages don't translate word for word. Some words don't exist in other languages, so we have to substitute them for what we think they mean. Example: the word homosexuality didn't even exist until the 19th century. You can thank the Germans for it. Maybe God hates Figs. Or Germans. Or doesn't hate at all.
Be leery of organized religion. Any organized religion. It's all a tax dodge. It's also a method of controlling people. Unless you enjoy being controlled, don't fall for it. Also, don't fall for the so-called scholars who say this or that. They have their motives, and education is rarely it. A good theory can make their professional reputation. Always look at the source, the paper trail, and the money trail.
And if you can...be nice to people. You don't even have to call yourself a Christian to do that.
And on the 9th Day, He burned a fatty, looked around and thought, "Gosh...what would happen if I mixed some duck parts with beaver parts, and made it poisonous?!"..and then reached for the bag of Divine Doritos.
OK...maybe ALL Christians don't share my exact sense of humor...but then again, I loathe cheese. You'd be surprised at the number of people who are certain that I'm the anti-Christ because of that.
My big question is this: why are so many people always busy trying to put down my faith? I don't force it on anyone. I don't run around quoting scripture. I can...but I don't. My Swiss cheese brain often gets the numbers mixed up anyway.
I, like most Christians, see my beliefs as a sense of faith...faith in humanity, if you will. We see it as a philosophy. The Bible, as we know it, has been translated, re-translated, and edited numerous times. We can't even begin to say what exactly is supposed to be in it...except for the basic gist - be nice to each other. That's pretty much it.
The Bible is a book of parables. These are stories with a moral lesson. Some of them are pretty far out. Some are downright creepy. But if you read the whole thing, you get the idea. Be nice to each other. Persevere in being nice, even against the odds.
OK, sure...some Christians believe that The Bible is the unerring word of God. He sent down the almighty ballpoint pen and told a bunch of guys to start writing and what to write. No...probably not the case. More like, as in most histories, myths, and legends, it was handed down word of mouth from one to another. Ever play telephone as a kid? If so, you get the idea. Again...parables...gist of the message...be nice to each other.
I often see people posting articles about the historic accuracy of the Bible. Comparisons are made between Christian theology and other religions. Oh my, the brouhahas started by it! Atheists, agnostics, and those of other faiths love to jump in on this....why? Aside from the sheer rudeness of it...it's kind of stupid. Why is anyone, in this day and age, that concerned with how another person thinks, acts, or believes?
Look. I have my faith. I don't need anyone to validate it for me. I believe what I believe...for my own reasons. I take my faith very seriously...again, for my own reasons. Should I be proven wrong...oh well. I spent most of my life being nice to people. Oh my goodness...how awful! Just think how mean I could have been! Sorry...not an appealing thought to me.
OK OK OK...a lot of people here in America have issues with politicians mixing religion into government. Believe it or not...no one has a bigger issue with that than I do. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. PERIOD. But guess what. Almost every single politician that YOU have voted for has used religion to get elected. If you have a problem with it...take it up with them...not with Christianity. Real Christians are all for helping people...not bombing the shit out of 3rd world countries so we have easier access to oil. It is not our faith that pads the bank accounts of military contractors.
Real Christians don't wave signs saying that God hates anyone. First off, it's not our place to assume what He does/doesn't hate. It's not our place to assume to know what He thinks about anything. We just try to do right because it is right...as my auntie always said.
Again...what's the big problem? Why do so many people have a problem with Christianity? I think that healing the sick, feeding/clothing/housing the poor and hungry, and generally being nice to people is a good way to go. Naive? Hardly. I've lived a harder life than most of you will ever imagine. I even know what happens when we die...because I was declared dead once. (that's a story for another time)
I don't tell anyone what they should believe. I do allow my faith to dictate many of my actions. Trust me, there are many times when I would enjoy nothing more than to crack some of you upside the head with a 2x4...but I don't. My faith dictates that I don't do that...or at least try really hard NOT to do that. Hey...I'm only human. I make mistakes. My faith tells me that I will be, eventually, forgiven.
Christianity, as we know it, is about 2000 years old. Islam is about 1400 years old. A lot happened in that 600 years...one of the things being better detailed records. There's your historic accuracy. Also, numerous so-called scholars have likened the story of Jesus to an older deity. Some will cry COPYCAT! Or...just maybe, it's a continuation of an older story. Perhaps Christianity is older than we know. Going back to the oral histories, maybe the names got changed, along with a few dates, and other details. I likened oral histories to playing telephone. We go by the gist of the message, not the exact words.
Words are funny things. Most languages don't translate word for word. Some words don't exist in other languages, so we have to substitute them for what we think they mean. Example: the word homosexuality didn't even exist until the 19th century. You can thank the Germans for it. Maybe God hates Figs. Or Germans. Or doesn't hate at all.
Be leery of organized religion. Any organized religion. It's all a tax dodge. It's also a method of controlling people. Unless you enjoy being controlled, don't fall for it. Also, don't fall for the so-called scholars who say this or that. They have their motives, and education is rarely it. A good theory can make their professional reputation. Always look at the source, the paper trail, and the money trail.
And if you can...be nice to people. You don't even have to call yourself a Christian to do that.
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