The Real Memphis Mike (don't settle for imitations)

I am a minister; not a preacher or reverend. Why? To minister means to serve or help another. To preach is to make a proclamation, usually via a sermon. A reverend is one who is supposed to be revered or respected.  Which one do you think is more likely to be effective? I CAN preach. I can do it well. I can preach in such a way that it'll make your head spin. But why should you listen to me? I'm just a man. Nothing more. The only words I can and will give you are the truth...not the truth as I see it, but the truth as it is. I know fire is hot and ice is cold. I know that stealing and killing are wrong. I know that loving and caring is right. If you can't understand those simple truths, no amount of preaching by me, or anyone else, will make you understand.  I don't seek to be revered. I'll happily try to earn your respect, but I won't ask anyone, or even allow anyone, to automatically bestow it upon me. Don't call me "sir". I've never b...

I've had some issues with owls. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them, but, they have, on occasion, scared the crap out of me. In fact, I'll tell you a couple of owl stories...feel free to laugh and then remind me of it every time you see me...which happens. I'm glad y'all are still reading this silliness! I used to live in a small town in Ohio called New Philadelphia. It was about a 30 or so minute drive from where my dad had a "vacation" home at Tappan Lake. His 2nd wife never really liked the place, so dad had stopped going there. I'd stop out once a month or so to check on the place for him, and if something needed repaired, I'd take care of that too. It was a nice little place with 2 bedrooms, front and back porches, fireplace, and a number of black walnut trees on the property. I learned to loathe black walnuts. If you've ever hit one with a lawnmower and had it come flying back at you, you'll understand why. They're ki...

OK, so everyone is making cute little videos, dumping buckets of ice water on themselves, to raise awareness of ALS. Personally, I'd rather these people just make a donation to a worthy cause and ask their friends to do the same...but hey, I guess whatever works. But just what the hell is ALS (some of you may be asking)? First off, "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as Lou Gehrig's Disease (motor neuron disease to my friends overseas) is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons reach from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. The progressive degeneration of the motor neurons in ALS eventually leads to their death. When the motor neurons die, the ability of the brain to initiate and control muscle movement is lost. With voluntary muscle action progressively affected, patients in the later stages of the disease may become totally ...

I've written hundreds of music reviews in my career as a writer. Maybe thousands, I don't know...I've never counted. But, as the music industry continues to change, I guess I should too. Let's face it. No one buys music anymore. There's a good reason for this...most of it sucks. Case in point, anything The Black Keys have done since their "Brothers" disc. Before you go pointing fingers and crying foul, I've worked with Dan Auerbach. He was still a kid in his late teens, early 20s, and playing with his old band The Barn Burners. They used to open for me from time to time. The kid had amazing talent then, and I'm sure still does. He has, however, fallen into the trap that is the industry. Their earlier releases were pure fun! Grungy, bluesy, garage-y...I didn't like everything they did but I enjoyed most of it. Then came " Brothers ". Damn. That was the record every artist dreams of. Not a bad song on it. I listened to that releas...

Please, do NOT feel sorry for Robin Williams. Also, do NOT try to turn him into a martyr. He committed suicide...the most selfish act a person can do. Yeah...you read that correctly. He was selfish. I've lived with suicidal depression most of my life. I've fought it and fought hard. It does NOT get easier. Depression sucks. It drains your energy and your desire. Every now and then, I'm lucky and have a few days where my suicidal impulses don't pop up. But then, like a rash or an old friend, they're back. I've learned that this is nothing more than my brain misfiring. While I do know this, it doesn't stop, or even slow down, my suicidal impulses. It doesn't fix my depression.  It does, however, keep me from acting on these impulses. Also, I am a very blessed man in a lot of ways. I have people in my life that I know love me and care about me...like my better half. Whenever a really strong suicidal impulse kicks in, and I'm seriously thinking about g...

There are a lot of interesting versions of songs out there. One of the current internet faves is a band from Finland doing a country version of AC/DC's "Thunderstruck". Obviously, no one remembers Hayseed Dixie. Don't worry, this will disappear as quickly as it got here. There are tribute acts galore. Hell, I have friends in a Deadbolt tribute band! They're really good at it too. But... You know what I'd like to hear? SOMETHING NEW THAT DOESN'T SUCK AND ISN'T A REHASH OF EVERYTHING ELSE! I don't get it. There seem to be more bands than ever...and not a one of them sounds original. Hell, they don't even try to sound original. There are more genres and sub-genres than ever before...a sound tailored to almost any taste. And they're all pretty fucking boring. Sure sure sure...blame it on the record companies. Easy target. Just remember, they're only selling what someone else is creating. Sure, they're scum...but they can only ...

When I was 15, I was expelled from school for a semester for carrying a straight razor. It was only the 6th day of school. Long story short, a guy had been trying to start a fight with me since day 1, and as I'd been dealing with a LOT of personal issues, I finally let loose on him. I still have a scar on the ring finger of my right hand from where I knocked one of his front teeth out and it was embedded in my finger. The cops were called. I was frisked. They found the razor. End of story. What does this have to do with Telecasters? Well, in my case...a good deal. This was a pivotal point in my life. Having been kicked out of school, dear old dad told me, flat out, that I was not going to just sit around. I thought he meant I'd be sent to military school, or worse, Catholic school, but no...he had other plans. I was sent to work in the billing department of his office. Monday through Friday, 8:00am to 4:00pm. For a whopping $4.00 an hour. (Minimum wage was $3.35, so I was d...