Free To Write Again

I finished a song today. That might not sound like much, but this song has haunted me for 15 damned years.

Sure, most songwriters have tons of unfinished songs. Hell, I have hundreds, maybe thousands of them...but this song has always been gnawing at the back of my brain. I've asked at least a half dozen songwriter friends to help me with it over the years, but nothing ever came of it. I guess it just wasn't the song's time...until now.

I guess I can thank the music industry, in part, for it. This song is bound to be ignored by most. It's a waltz for Pete's sake...and really, who writes waltzes anymore? That said, the industry, and the possibly irreversible mess it's found itself in, has freed me to write whatever the hell I damned well like. It no longer really matters.

For years I've heard the words "it'll never get airplay" in the back of my head when I write. Not that many of my songs have ever or will ever get much airplay, but those words were always still there. The industry created, for decades, a sea of writers and musicians trying to write the next hit...the next big thing. Let's face it, there's hasn't been anything new or original in years. Vinyl is enjoying a resurgence not because of anything new, but because everyone is looking backwards for music. What's the old saying? "Everything old is new again." Most of today's music is so putrid that even the kids won't listen to it. Millions are spent in advertising campaigns to tell folks how awesome this new song or artist is, and the record companies keep on losing money. It's actually pretty funny.

The industry is made up of greedy motherfuckers, selfish bastards, and whores. I've never been greedy but like most, I can honestly say I've been, at different points in my career, the latter two. There's so much DIY now that the playing field has truly been leveled. Folks are giving their music away at a loss just to be heard...the good ones as well as the bad ones. With all of this going on...why not finish my waltz?

I remember when I first had the idea for the song. One line is all it took. At the time, it sounded ridiculously simple. I thought it bordered on stupidly simple. Then there was that fact that it's a waltz. It has an almost Mexican feel to it. I knew then that it would never make anyone's Top 10. Days, weeks and months rolled by and that song kept gnawing at me...like a rat trapped behind a wall.

I tried my old writing trick: I got good and drunk and tried to get myself pissed off. No more verses came...but the song just crept deeper into my soul. Time kept on passing it by. I wrote song after song, leaving my little waltz in the shadows. Every so often, it would pop up while I was playing guitar. I'd play the little bit of it I'd written and wonder when or if I would ever finish it.

Like I said, I invited friends to help me with it. I think when I told them it was a waltz, it put them off. Again, really...who plays waltzes anymore? My friends are rockers, blues cats, etc. They don't play no stinking waltzes! So the song sat, anything but quietly, in my subconscious.

More years went by. I released a few more albums. I recorded with others. I produced others. I wrote for others. I toured the US, the UK, Australia, and back...and that little waltz waited patiently.

I kept vowing to get out of show biz. Yeah right...that's not likely to ever happen. Cancer. A coma. Brain damage. A heart attack. A legal nightmare. Another bout of cancer. The world kept changing, getting darker and more impersonal. Instant communication abounded. I can play along with another musician on the other side of the planet without leaving my den...and still, the little waltz sat ignored.

I went on the road and played the waltz for the guys I toured with. They're rootsy guys...they dug it...but had no clue what to do with it. The song was now back in the forefront of my mind. It would no longer be ignored.

I've been writing a fair bit lately. Mostly old blues sort of stuff...definitely not waltzes. I asked another friend if she wanted to try her hand at it. She agreed...but before she could, the rest of the song presented itself to me. As I worked out the last verse, it was a deeply emotional experience. As my better half put it, it was like a well-deserved shit for my mind. Not that the song is shit. It's anything but....but I got what she meant.

My little waltz, the song that took me 15 years to finish, is ready to spread it's musical wings and fly. I'd like to record it. I already have production ideas for it. I have a feeling that it will be one of those songs that takes on it's own life in the studio. And I'll love every minute of it. Until then, I have a lo fi, home demo that I recorded on my laptop, played on my beat up old 12 string that has needed new strings for 5 years. The lo fi quality seems to fit the song. It's rough and dirty...like it raised up from the earth like a mighty weed.

Thank you, again, to the music industry, the greedy motherfuckers, selfish bastards, and whores...and the complacent music fans who now expect everything for free...for killing the music business. You've done yourselves a disservice...but you've leveled the playing field. We're all fucked now...and it doesn't matter...because we're now free to write whatever the hell we want again. Fuck the next big hit. Fuck the concept of heroes and fans. Music has been dragged back to earth...where it belongs.

I'm happy with my little waltz. Ask me and I'll even let you hear it...in all of it's ragged glory.