The headline read "Russell Brand May Have Started A Revolution". Hogmuffins.
The piece regarded Brand being interviewed by BBC's Jeremy Paxman (known for his "forthright and abrasive interviewing style") about being the guest editor for The New Statesman's recent revolution-themed issue.
Paxman asked, and rightly so, what qualifies Brand for this. The interview just goes awry from there. It ends with Brand being dramatically passionate about the state of the world.
OK...so he's lucid enough to understand, like most of the rest of the world, that things need to change. He's vocal about what...but not about how. He rants about social injustice, wealth disparity, etc...but makes no statements regarding how to go about solving the problems.
A friend sent me the article this morning and this was my reply (for the most part):
"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." So, Russell Brand gets excited and spouts his own "emotional porn" about the elephant in the room and I'm supposed to get excited? Hardly. When/if he actually does something about it, rather than talking about it, let me know. In the meantime, he's just another rich guy looking for a tax loophole. The fact that he refuses to vote shows that he really doesn't give a shit. Sure, I understand his reasons not to...but he forgets that while he's busy NOT voting, there are lots of people out there who are. It's his brand of apathy that has helped create the mess we're in. I hear lots of excuses but no IDEAS. No plans. Blah blah blah. But, because he gets excited, which is supposed to come across as passionate, I'm supposed to believe he has started a revolution? If that was the case, I started a revolution nearly 30 years ago. And I vote! Only difference? He has a news camera in his face and I don't.
No. Russell Brand has not started a revolution. What he has done is add a few seconds to his 15 minutes of fame, which I wish would end soon. He has merely pointed out the obvious...that which any human being can see...provided they open their eyes and look at the world.
Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines "revolution" as: the usually violent attempt by many people to end the rule of one government and start a new one
: a sudden, extreme, or complete change in the way people live, work, etc.
Nope. Mr. Brand has done none of the above nor, I believe, does he think he has. This is just more relatively useless social irritation by the media...the media bought and paid for by those that Brand tirades against.
Think for a moment who Russell Brand is. He's a celebrity. An actor, talk show host and (alleged) comedian. He is also reportedly worth $15million
.While not impossible for a rich person to be a revolutionary, it is unlikely. I often remind myself (and others) that when posed with a seemingly unlikely or confusing situation, ask WHO it benefits.
Brand's statements benefit him. It gives him another notch of notoriety on his belt of fame. His seemingly passionate display broadened no horizons. He merely added "Cap'n Obvious" to the list of characters he's played.
Yes. This world needs revolution. The corporations are happily creating a 21st century US vs. THEM...and money equals power. We've all become slaves to the corporate giants. There are ways to solve these problems...yet no one dares mention them in serious company. The source of power is money. Take that away and you have effectively crippled the global 1%. But as long as they throw nickels and dimes to the poor while lining the pockets of corrupt politicians, it will never happen.
We're all to blame. That's the one thing that Russell Brand DIDN'T mention.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
DON'T F*&#ING ASK!!!!!!!!!
Q: How do you ask a musician/entertainer/artist to do shit for FREE for your favorite charity, fundraising entity, non-profit organization?
A: You don't.
Asking us to do for you, what many of us do for a living, for FREE, is an insult to us. Many will appear to take the high road** on this...I, however, will not.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for benefits and charities. Over the years, I've given my money, time, and talents to many. I did so because I chose to...not because I was asked to. I do so because the charities that I contribute my time/money/talent to mean something to me...just like your favorite charitable organization means to you. It doesn't make one better than another. In fact, many are really pretty crooked...but that's a story for another time.
So, a guy calls me today, under the pretense of buying some gear that I have for sale. I can tell he's trying to make small talk...to get on my good side. If you've ever engaged in a business transaction with me, chances are you know that this isn't going to happen. I prefer to get to the point and take care of business.
Mr. Dude starts asking all sorts of ridiculous questions about the gear and I am patiently waiting to answer his questions and get to the point. He mentions "negotiating a price"...I stop him there. There will be no negotiations. My terms were clear from the get go...not open to interpretation or negotiation. Finally...he gets to his point.
He asks if I still do solo shows. He enjoys my solo blues work and would like me to perform at a benefit for his favorite charitable organization....for free. The S.O.B. isn't even seriously asking about the gear he allegedly called about...what he wants is FREE entertainment. I promptly suggested he insert a large, blunt object into his nether regions and attempt to bring himself to climax....just not in those particular words.
This man has just shown me everything I need to know about him, his charity, his opinions of my work, and how much he plans to ask me to do for free. He contacted me under false pretenses, and then tries to get me to work for free. Try that the next time you need a plumber. See just how far it gets you.
Am I saying that people shouldn't give to charities? No. Am I saying that artists shouldn't donate their time/energy/talent to these charities? No. I'm saying don't ask. Most artists, writers, musicians, entertainers-in-general, are very giving, caring, and generous people. We give...and give...and give. I know many of us living doubles lives. We have our art, that we're known for, and our "real job", which for many of my cohorts and colleagues, involves the education/social work/medical fields. A lot of us are drawn to that work. Not all...but a good number. Many artists will freely give their time, effort, and talent to charities that they believe in or are already connected to.
While we would all love to see an end to world hunger, suffering, and the plight of paralytically pretentious pugbabies,(aka The PPP) it's just not feasible to ask us to work for free. Guess what, if that's all that we do, the next charity will be The Broke & Starving Artists of America Who Worked For Free For Too Long Foundation (The BS2A2W3FTLF).
If you are working on behalf of your favorite charitable foundation, do yourself, the community, the charity, and the artists whose work you want for free, a favor. Spend more time on education. Let us know what it is you're doing. Do it all honestly. People WILL be drawn to you then. Heck, I might even offer up a night of free entertainment for your next fundraiser. Just don't ever call me out of the blue, under false pretenses, and then try to guilt trip me. My number one charity is simply called Mike's Bills. That gets my time, effort, talent, and money before anything else. And as no one else is contributing to Mike's Bills, I tend to get cranky when lying parasites call me, asking me to work for free. That shit don't flush.
** Those that do agree to do FREEBIES do so for the following reasons...and rarely does it involve being charitable.
A: You don't.
Asking us to do for you, what many of us do for a living, for FREE, is an insult to us. Many will appear to take the high road** on this...I, however, will not.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for benefits and charities. Over the years, I've given my money, time, and talents to many. I did so because I chose to...not because I was asked to. I do so because the charities that I contribute my time/money/talent to mean something to me...just like your favorite charitable organization means to you. It doesn't make one better than another. In fact, many are really pretty crooked...but that's a story for another time.
So, a guy calls me today, under the pretense of buying some gear that I have for sale. I can tell he's trying to make small talk...to get on my good side. If you've ever engaged in a business transaction with me, chances are you know that this isn't going to happen. I prefer to get to the point and take care of business.
Mr. Dude starts asking all sorts of ridiculous questions about the gear and I am patiently waiting to answer his questions and get to the point. He mentions "negotiating a price"...I stop him there. There will be no negotiations. My terms were clear from the get go...not open to interpretation or negotiation. Finally...he gets to his point.
He asks if I still do solo shows. He enjoys my solo blues work and would like me to perform at a benefit for his favorite charitable organization....for free. The S.O.B. isn't even seriously asking about the gear he allegedly called about...what he wants is FREE entertainment. I promptly suggested he insert a large, blunt object into his nether regions and attempt to bring himself to climax....just not in those particular words.
This man has just shown me everything I need to know about him, his charity, his opinions of my work, and how much he plans to ask me to do for free. He contacted me under false pretenses, and then tries to get me to work for free. Try that the next time you need a plumber. See just how far it gets you.
Am I saying that people shouldn't give to charities? No. Am I saying that artists shouldn't donate their time/energy/talent to these charities? No. I'm saying don't ask. Most artists, writers, musicians, entertainers-in-general, are very giving, caring, and generous people. We give...and give...and give. I know many of us living doubles lives. We have our art, that we're known for, and our "real job", which for many of my cohorts and colleagues, involves the education/social work/medical fields. A lot of us are drawn to that work. Not all...but a good number. Many artists will freely give their time, effort, and talent to charities that they believe in or are already connected to.
While we would all love to see an end to world hunger, suffering, and the plight of paralytically pretentious pugbabies,(aka The PPP) it's just not feasible to ask us to work for free. Guess what, if that's all that we do, the next charity will be The Broke & Starving Artists of America Who Worked For Free For Too Long Foundation (The BS2A2W3FTLF).
If you are working on behalf of your favorite charitable foundation, do yourself, the community, the charity, and the artists whose work you want for free, a favor. Spend more time on education. Let us know what it is you're doing. Do it all honestly. People WILL be drawn to you then. Heck, I might even offer up a night of free entertainment for your next fundraiser. Just don't ever call me out of the blue, under false pretenses, and then try to guilt trip me. My number one charity is simply called Mike's Bills. That gets my time, effort, talent, and money before anything else. And as no one else is contributing to Mike's Bills, I tend to get cranky when lying parasites call me, asking me to work for free. That shit don't flush.
** Those that do agree to do FREEBIES do so for the following reasons...and rarely does it involve being charitable.
- The #1 reason is for exposure. These people believe that performing gratis for a crowd of people will attract these same people to the artist's talent in future...in short, they'll start coming to all of their gigs/galleries/what have you. This is most likely not the case. Many times, the artist is politely ignored or worse, asked to turn down...or play something else...or any number of things. Most folks in the fundraising biz know very little about the entertainment biz. These two worlds can often clash.
- The #2 reason is that the artist in question has placed no value whatsoever on his/her time and/or talent. That's fine. But...if you don't place a value on it, no one else will either. Chances are, you're not the fundraiser's first choice. You're probably being given the opportunity to work for free because some else has already turned them down.
- #3...some will perform for free because they actually do care about the charitable foundation. However, in these cases, the artist has usually offered up their services rather than being approached to do so. I have done this in the past...and will probably do so again...provided I find a charity that isn't lining someones pockets. (and please...I don't want to hear how YOUR favorite charity doesn't/wouldn't do that...I know better)
Monday, October 14, 2013
THIS Is Star Trek!
THIS IS STAR TREK, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!
I've actually had this same discussion a few times in the past week. THIS is Star Trek. The REAL Star Trek, if you will.
"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before." That was Captain James Tiberius Kirk's monologue at the beginning of every episode, bar two. Jim Kirk is in command of the Enterprise. Learn that. Live it. Love it.
When someone asks me if I like Star Trek (which I do), THIS is what I think of. I am usually horrified when asked the follow up question: "Which one?"
By this, I can only hope that they mean to inquire as to which episode I liked the most...because contrary to popular belief, those other shows just ain't Star Trek.
The REAL Star Trek aired from 1966-1969 and has been in seemingly endless reruns ever since. "Syndication" they call it....I call it reruns. And I love every damned episode of those reruns. I've been watching this pretty much my entire existence and will continue to do so. Hell's bells, I even like the movies. As a kid, I even liked the cartoon version of The Trek!
But what about those other shows/movies?
To me, they ain't Star Trek. OK...I'll give the new movies credit for trying to recreate the original characters for a new generation...however, they're still doing it wrong. (Spock doesn't have a girlfriend, OK. he just doesn't. He gets horny every 7 years. It's called the pon farr. Look it up. ) But...those other shows? AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Next Generation: Next generation of boring rip off, is more like it! It was the 'kinder, gentler' take on the Trek. It was like some Buddhist version of the Trek. Let's be honest, the only reason people watched it was because of Marina Sirtis' rack and the robot. You want to sell sci fi to geeks? Big boobs and robots are a sure fire recipe! The rest of it was irritating as hell. AND THEY CHANGED THE DAMNED KLINGONS!!!!!!!! WTF???????? Worst of all, NO KIRK. NO KIRK FU! NO KIRK F*CKING EVERYTHING IN THE GALAXY! NOT STAR TREK!
Deep Space Nine: It's the Trek's equivalent to a truck stop. An interstellar truck stop. An interstellar truck stop so overwhelmed with corruption and incompetence that the Federation had to step in to run it, lest those damned Ferengi's try to sell it for scrap to the highest bidder. Yes, there were a couple of hot chicks on the show...plus aliens. Recipe #2 for selling sci fi to the geeks: hot chicks and goofy looking aliens. But...not The Enterprise. It wasn't commanded by Kirk. Therefore...NOT Star Trek.
Voyager: What a mess. It was the United Colors of Benetton's dream version of the Trek. Led but what I'm pretty sure was a lesbian (and there's nothing wrong with here in the real world), Capt. Janeway, this ragtag, multi-ethnic bunch of so-called aliens were just a watered-down version of Next Generation. Star Trek Barbie maybe. It was just ultimately unwatchable. Sooooooooooooo NOT Star Trek....or anything Trek! Just awful. The one couldn't even be blamed on an aging and infirm Roddenberry. I just don't have the words to describe my infinite loathing of this mess.
Younger folks will often argue that they prefer Next Generation (or worse, Voyager). I remind then that they're stupid. There is only ONE Star Trek...and that's the original. Anything else is a pale imitation. The REAL Trek has been likened to cowboys & indians in outer space...AND? So What?! That's why WE who like The Real Star Trek LIKE IT! Kirk was making up his own damned rules as he went along and we damned well knew it! We admired him for it! He could damned near any being's ass...and on the rare occasions that he took a beating, he took it like a man! And the babes! Kirk got them ALL!!!!!!! For Pete's sake...the REAL Trek had the 1st ever interracial kiss on TV! The show loosely tried to tackle social issues of the day...but in the end, it was the characters that made the show. The friendship between Kirk & Spock. Bones McCoy's infernal cantankerousness! You just knew Scotty was getting liquored up down there in engineering. You knew if a guy was wearing a red shirt and beamed down to the planet...his time was up!
Sorry kids...THIS was the REAL Star Trek. Please don't ever refer to those other shows in the franchise as Star Trek. They're jut not. Like any franchise, it was devised to make money...not entertain. And it did just that. Those that were entertained will probably never admit that they'd rather watch the original...but you know how kids are.
If you don't like this...tough titties. I'm a blogger Jim, not a magician.
 |
| (l-r Scotty, Chekov, Bones, Nurse Whats-her-face-that-no-one-really-cared-about, THE KIRK, Uhura, Spock, and Mr. "Oh My" his own bad self, Sulu. THIS is Star Trek!) |
I've actually had this same discussion a few times in the past week. THIS is Star Trek. The REAL Star Trek, if you will.
"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before." That was Captain James Tiberius Kirk's monologue at the beginning of every episode, bar two. Jim Kirk is in command of the Enterprise. Learn that. Live it. Love it.
When someone asks me if I like Star Trek (which I do), THIS is what I think of. I am usually horrified when asked the follow up question: "Which one?"
By this, I can only hope that they mean to inquire as to which episode I liked the most...because contrary to popular belief, those other shows just ain't Star Trek.
The REAL Star Trek aired from 1966-1969 and has been in seemingly endless reruns ever since. "Syndication" they call it....I call it reruns. And I love every damned episode of those reruns. I've been watching this pretty much my entire existence and will continue to do so. Hell's bells, I even like the movies. As a kid, I even liked the cartoon version of The Trek!
But what about those other shows/movies?
To me, they ain't Star Trek. OK...I'll give the new movies credit for trying to recreate the original characters for a new generation...however, they're still doing it wrong. (Spock doesn't have a girlfriend, OK. he just doesn't. He gets horny every 7 years. It's called the pon farr. Look it up. ) But...those other shows? AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Next Generation: Next generation of boring rip off, is more like it! It was the 'kinder, gentler' take on the Trek. It was like some Buddhist version of the Trek. Let's be honest, the only reason people watched it was because of Marina Sirtis' rack and the robot. You want to sell sci fi to geeks? Big boobs and robots are a sure fire recipe! The rest of it was irritating as hell. AND THEY CHANGED THE DAMNED KLINGONS!!!!!!!! WTF???????? Worst of all, NO KIRK. NO KIRK FU! NO KIRK F*CKING EVERYTHING IN THE GALAXY! NOT STAR TREK!
Deep Space Nine: It's the Trek's equivalent to a truck stop. An interstellar truck stop. An interstellar truck stop so overwhelmed with corruption and incompetence that the Federation had to step in to run it, lest those damned Ferengi's try to sell it for scrap to the highest bidder. Yes, there were a couple of hot chicks on the show...plus aliens. Recipe #2 for selling sci fi to the geeks: hot chicks and goofy looking aliens. But...not The Enterprise. It wasn't commanded by Kirk. Therefore...NOT Star Trek.
Voyager: What a mess. It was the United Colors of Benetton's dream version of the Trek. Led but what I'm pretty sure was a lesbian (and there's nothing wrong with here in the real world), Capt. Janeway, this ragtag, multi-ethnic bunch of so-called aliens were just a watered-down version of Next Generation. Star Trek Barbie maybe. It was just ultimately unwatchable. Sooooooooooooo NOT Star Trek....or anything Trek! Just awful. The one couldn't even be blamed on an aging and infirm Roddenberry. I just don't have the words to describe my infinite loathing of this mess.
Younger folks will often argue that they prefer Next Generation (or worse, Voyager). I remind then that they're stupid. There is only ONE Star Trek...and that's the original. Anything else is a pale imitation. The REAL Trek has been likened to cowboys & indians in outer space...AND? So What?! That's why WE who like The Real Star Trek LIKE IT! Kirk was making up his own damned rules as he went along and we damned well knew it! We admired him for it! He could damned near any being's ass...and on the rare occasions that he took a beating, he took it like a man! And the babes! Kirk got them ALL!!!!!!! For Pete's sake...the REAL Trek had the 1st ever interracial kiss on TV! The show loosely tried to tackle social issues of the day...but in the end, it was the characters that made the show. The friendship between Kirk & Spock. Bones McCoy's infernal cantankerousness! You just knew Scotty was getting liquored up down there in engineering. You knew if a guy was wearing a red shirt and beamed down to the planet...his time was up!
Sorry kids...THIS was the REAL Star Trek. Please don't ever refer to those other shows in the franchise as Star Trek. They're jut not. Like any franchise, it was devised to make money...not entertain. And it did just that. Those that were entertained will probably never admit that they'd rather watch the original...but you know how kids are.
If you don't like this...tough titties. I'm a blogger Jim, not a magician.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
That boy had some lungs on him! (or How We Played Carnegie Hall and Lived To Tell About It)
We played a wedding last night. I have, for years, avoided doing so for many reasons. I'm not a wedding singer. I am rarely able to pull off doing 'pretty songs'. If you've ever heard my voice, you know why.
No, I prefer loud, rollicking, screaming-shouting-stomping old blues, rockabilly, rock and roll, country, etc. Not your ideal wedding band.
I am often asked to play weddings. I don't get it? I'm usually asked by someone, at one of our shows, if we can play their wedding. I am normally able to dissuade the question by quoting them a ridiculous price. When price isn't an object, I remind them, repeatedly, that the show they just saw (loud, drunk, and often obnoxious) is what they'll be getting for their wedding. I ask how their grandma or great aunt Gladys will feel about songs referencing 'drinking until one pukes'. I then tell them, "NO REQUESTS". I don't care if Lionel Richie's "Hello" has special meaning for you. I'm not going to sing it or play it. This usually ends the conversation. When it doesn't, I usually just say "Oh gee...I'm already booked on that date...sorry."
Last night was a little different. It was my good friend and bass player's daughter's wedding. I knew I wasn't getting out of this one. Luckily, his daughter is also a working musician, and understands that the old guys ain't gonna play any sappy stuff. Little did I know, they had a trick up their sleeves.
My friend and bass player Rob, has done an on/off side gig for a couple of years called "Live Band Punk Rock Karaoke". It's rather successful. The band learns as many old punk rock songs as possible and invites the audience members to come up and sing them...living that rock star dream! It's more fun than your standard karaoke, which, at least to me, is painful to endure while someone butchers an already unlistenable pop song or country tune. (Phrasing people, phrasing! Learn it!)
Rob and his daughter, Maura, devised the idea of Live Wedding Band Karaoke. Our drummer, JD, and I, were not thrilled with the idea. First off, this meant learning NEW songs. We never rehearse. Haven't for years. When I write a new song, these guys know my playing well enough that a quick run-through during soundcheck is often enough to suffice. (Rob and I have worked together off/on for over 20 years. JD & I for nearly 10)
Anyhoo, Rob presents me with a list of what might as well been a million songs...mostly old Motown, Stax/Volt numbers. Most had horn parts. We do not have a horn section. (we're a 3 piece band, for those unfamiliar) I started whittling the list down pretty quickly to only songs that we could pull off convincingly. We got it down to about 15 songs. And we learned them. AND we actually rehearsed. A few times!
My understanding was, incorrectly, that certain friends of the bride and groom would pre-choose from these 15 songs, and we would pepper our 2 hour show with them. Fun, right? Easy, right? Guess again.
Knowing a thing or two about behavior and live performance, I wondered how many would chicken out ("Oh gosh! I just CAN'T! I'd be so embarrassed singing in front of people!") As it turned out, there was no pre-choosing. We, instead, had a giant white board with the set list, with blanks by the "wedding songs' for people to add their name, so we could call them up. Only a handful of folks did.
One guy in particular, Jeremiah, did 3 songs...and let me tell you, that white kid has a set of lungs on him! Damn! To say that I was impressed would be an understatement. He knocked his songs out with a level of skill and professionalism that I haven't experienced in a long time! We decided to toy with him a bit, and dragged the songs out, switched them around a bit, and occasionally altered the groove...but there was no shaking this kid! Damn, he's GOOD!
Jeremiah, if you ever read this...do the world a favor and sing more! You have a gift!
What's the old joke? 'How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice!' Well, we can say, once again and without lying, that we played Carnegie Hall. To those unfamiliar with the history, Carnegie Hall is NOT just a fabled venue in NYC. Especially around the Greater Pittsburgh Area, there are a number of them. The one we played last night is The Carnegie Music Hall, part of the Carnegie Museum in the Oakland section of the city. If you've never been there, the place is beautiful...although at the same time, an acoustic nightmare. The main hall, is an auditorium style set up, while the banquet hall, where we were, is a 2 story, marble mausoleum type room of immense beauty. I (almost) felt out of place playing there. It felt (almost) like we were defiling the beauty of the room with our loud, crazy rock and roll. Until soundcheck, that is. That's when we realized that it was going to be a battle between us and the room. With the incredibly high, arched ceiling, and all of that damned marble, plus the sheer size of the room, it was echo city. All 3 of us in the band have been sound techs at one point or other. Robert, being the most knowledgeable, and being the father of the bride, was in charge of the PA system. He rented a beauty of a system and got his friend Mario to run it for us. Mario did an admirable job. No squeaks, squonks or hums...which is amazing as we had to push some extra volume in order to fight the overwhelming natural reverb of that room.
Couple all of this with 'guest singers' who may/may not be or professional-level skill, this could've been a nightmare. Thankfully, it was not. Maura & Travis' wedding went off without a hitch. It sounded as good as it looked...and that's saying something!
Congratulations you crazy kids!
As a footnote, I'd like to add this: I said before that we have played Carnegie Hall many times...and this is not a lie. One of the original Carnegie Halls, now the New Hazlett Theater in North Side, was for some time, our rehearsal space! We played there every week! In fact, the back cover photo from our "Back From The Dead" CD was shot there. I once played a memorial service, of sorts, there. One of the many featured artists was a classical violinist from Duquesne University, Al Grishman. When my friend Nick was studying there, 30 years ago, Grishman was one of his music professors. Grishman and I got to talking backstage at the show and joked that one of us would have to call Nick to tell him that we played a show together at Carnegie Hall! Now there's one for the Weird Record Books!
No, I prefer loud, rollicking, screaming-shouting-stomping old blues, rockabilly, rock and roll, country, etc. Not your ideal wedding band.
I am often asked to play weddings. I don't get it? I'm usually asked by someone, at one of our shows, if we can play their wedding. I am normally able to dissuade the question by quoting them a ridiculous price. When price isn't an object, I remind them, repeatedly, that the show they just saw (loud, drunk, and often obnoxious) is what they'll be getting for their wedding. I ask how their grandma or great aunt Gladys will feel about songs referencing 'drinking until one pukes'. I then tell them, "NO REQUESTS". I don't care if Lionel Richie's "Hello" has special meaning for you. I'm not going to sing it or play it. This usually ends the conversation. When it doesn't, I usually just say "Oh gee...I'm already booked on that date...sorry."
Last night was a little different. It was my good friend and bass player's daughter's wedding. I knew I wasn't getting out of this one. Luckily, his daughter is also a working musician, and understands that the old guys ain't gonna play any sappy stuff. Little did I know, they had a trick up their sleeves.
My friend and bass player Rob, has done an on/off side gig for a couple of years called "Live Band Punk Rock Karaoke". It's rather successful. The band learns as many old punk rock songs as possible and invites the audience members to come up and sing them...living that rock star dream! It's more fun than your standard karaoke, which, at least to me, is painful to endure while someone butchers an already unlistenable pop song or country tune. (Phrasing people, phrasing! Learn it!)
Rob and his daughter, Maura, devised the idea of Live Wedding Band Karaoke. Our drummer, JD, and I, were not thrilled with the idea. First off, this meant learning NEW songs. We never rehearse. Haven't for years. When I write a new song, these guys know my playing well enough that a quick run-through during soundcheck is often enough to suffice. (Rob and I have worked together off/on for over 20 years. JD & I for nearly 10)
Anyhoo, Rob presents me with a list of what might as well been a million songs...mostly old Motown, Stax/Volt numbers. Most had horn parts. We do not have a horn section. (we're a 3 piece band, for those unfamiliar) I started whittling the list down pretty quickly to only songs that we could pull off convincingly. We got it down to about 15 songs. And we learned them. AND we actually rehearsed. A few times!
My understanding was, incorrectly, that certain friends of the bride and groom would pre-choose from these 15 songs, and we would pepper our 2 hour show with them. Fun, right? Easy, right? Guess again.
Knowing a thing or two about behavior and live performance, I wondered how many would chicken out ("Oh gosh! I just CAN'T! I'd be so embarrassed singing in front of people!") As it turned out, there was no pre-choosing. We, instead, had a giant white board with the set list, with blanks by the "wedding songs' for people to add their name, so we could call them up. Only a handful of folks did.
One guy in particular, Jeremiah, did 3 songs...and let me tell you, that white kid has a set of lungs on him! Damn! To say that I was impressed would be an understatement. He knocked his songs out with a level of skill and professionalism that I haven't experienced in a long time! We decided to toy with him a bit, and dragged the songs out, switched them around a bit, and occasionally altered the groove...but there was no shaking this kid! Damn, he's GOOD!
Jeremiah, if you ever read this...do the world a favor and sing more! You have a gift!
What's the old joke? 'How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice!' Well, we can say, once again and without lying, that we played Carnegie Hall. To those unfamiliar with the history, Carnegie Hall is NOT just a fabled venue in NYC. Especially around the Greater Pittsburgh Area, there are a number of them. The one we played last night is The Carnegie Music Hall, part of the Carnegie Museum in the Oakland section of the city. If you've never been there, the place is beautiful...although at the same time, an acoustic nightmare. The main hall, is an auditorium style set up, while the banquet hall, where we were, is a 2 story, marble mausoleum type room of immense beauty. I (almost) felt out of place playing there. It felt (almost) like we were defiling the beauty of the room with our loud, crazy rock and roll. Until soundcheck, that is. That's when we realized that it was going to be a battle between us and the room. With the incredibly high, arched ceiling, and all of that damned marble, plus the sheer size of the room, it was echo city. All 3 of us in the band have been sound techs at one point or other. Robert, being the most knowledgeable, and being the father of the bride, was in charge of the PA system. He rented a beauty of a system and got his friend Mario to run it for us. Mario did an admirable job. No squeaks, squonks or hums...which is amazing as we had to push some extra volume in order to fight the overwhelming natural reverb of that room.
Couple all of this with 'guest singers' who may/may not be or professional-level skill, this could've been a nightmare. Thankfully, it was not. Maura & Travis' wedding went off without a hitch. It sounded as good as it looked...and that's saying something!
Congratulations you crazy kids!
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| Playing between the marble pillars (photo JD Dauer) |
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| This is a good view of the room (photo JD Dauer) |
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| MM & TLT practicing at the other Carnegie Hall (circa 2002) |
Thursday, October 10, 2013
It's not just yours...
The other day, a neighbor of mine decided to fly the flag upside down, feeling that the country is in distress. I won't lie; this pissed me off. Big time.
Sure, our country is in a mess right now...but it's mostly a mess that we brought upon ourselves. Are we in distress? Hell no. Most of our problems are easily fixed if We The People WANT to fix them...but we don't...otherwise we would.
Before I go any further, allow me to attempt to demonstrate what the flag means to me. I've spend some fair chunks of time overseas. When I return home, I, admittedly, get a lump in my throat when I see our flag. That's right; OUR flag. It is a symbolic representation of our country, it's people, and it's history.
When I was a kid, I was in the Cub Scouts and the Boy Scouts. At that point in time, I'd have recommended the experience for every boy. It was a positive experience for me. Aside from studying history in school and at home, I learned more in the scouts. One of the many things we learned was flag etiquette. We learned when and how to fly the flag. We learned that it's not to touch the ground. Most of all, we learned to respect the flag and what it symbolizes.
My senior year in high school, they had us take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) exam. I scored ridiculously high on it. So high, in fact, that I was asked to take it again in a different format, just to see if my score was as high as it appeared. It was. I was planning on a military career. I hated school and mostly wanted to be a musician, so I figured the Air Force Band was the route for me. All of the branches of the military openly and actively tried to recruit me. Top 3rd of my class, with honors, and a super high ASVAB score made me look like a mighty good catch to them. My father had been a captain in the Army, my uncle a captain in the old Army Air Corps, and dad had even been physician to the Eisenhower family. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I was disqualified due to health issues.
This didn't dampen my love and respect for flag and country. It was a different time then...but not so much different. Reagan was in the White House. Anyone who remembers Reagan as anything but a puppet president, doing the bidding of his hidden corporate handlers, is a fool. Don't believe me? Listen to some of the old early 80s punk rock. You'll get your history lesson right there.
Lots of my friends went into the military. It made sense. Where we grew up, the steel mills were already vanishing and jobs were becoming scarce. The military, which is voluntary, was a good career path for many. It opened up doors that would have otherwise remained closed to many of these kids. Some went career military, like my best friend, and some just did short 4 year stints.
I've been lucky in that I've always had a lot of friends. The only downside to this has been that over the years, I've had to bury many of them. Most have died in ways that they shouldn't have. Some were in accidents, some with diseases, some through foul play.
Sadly, some were killed in active duty. Some had the misfortune of stepping on a land mine. More sad still, some came home from the wars, and couldn't cope. Booze and/drugs numbed the pain for some. For some, even that wasn't enough. They came home and eventually took their own lives.
It's for all of these friends and more that I dedicate this.
To those of you who feel that hanging OUR flag upside down, which is a distress signal, is in any way, shape or form, appropriate during these times...you couldn't be more wrong. Look into the eyes of a veteran suffering from PTSD and ask yourself if they'd appreciate your actions. If they didn't slap you, they would probably, at the very least, call you a whiney fucking cry baby. And they would be right to do so!
Because, that's exactly what you people are. You feel that you're not getting your way, so you throw a tantrum. You love to complain about the situation but never have a solution. Worse yet, you do nothing to improve the situation. Instead, you do stupid things like fly the flag upside down. This shows you for who you are.
The morons in Congress were elected by YOU. The idiots who have financially shut down our government were elected by YOU. They too are whiney, sniveling motherfuckers who aren't getting their way, so they act rashly. This behavior is NOT in the best interests of this country or it's people.
When I see you fly the flag, OUR flag, upside down, it infuriates me. I take it as a slap in the face to every veteran I have ever known. I see it as spitting on the graves of my fallen friends. I take it as a personal insult as an American.
Americans are not quitters. That's NOT who we are. That's not how we're raised. When things get tough, WE get tougher! We don't just sit at home and bitch, moan, and complain and then go hang OUR flag upside down in defeat. Yeah...that's what you're doing. You're being quitters. Or worse, attention whores.
Sure, you'll argue that you're "patriots" and "real" Americans. But you just don't get it...do you? You're an angry, loud, messy minority. You're angry because it takes being more than white to get along. You ramble on about your nationalistic pride while driving your foreign cars, watching foreign-made TVs, and spewing your nationalistic vitriol on foreign-made computers and cell phones. What you seem to forget is that the people that you claim as heroes are the same ones who sold our country to the highest bidders. The exact same people who outsource American jobs and hire illegal immigrants to work American jobs. The same people who have gone out of their way to destroy American unions. If you had any clue of the history of this country, you would be ashamed of yourselves and your actions. But no...you don't. It's EASIER to complain than to actually do something. Rather than read an in-depth article on local and/or foreign affairs, you take a quick glance at sensationalized tabloid headlines. Rather than DO something productive, you'll watch "reality TV" and laugh at the goons and hillbillies...all the while not realizing that you're laughing at yourselves. Because that's who you are.
I don't say that you all are bad people. I don't believe that for a second. But you've allowed yourselves to be roped in by bullshit. These are scary times, for sure...but don't believe in the boogey man because someone tells you to. There is no boogey man...and currently, no reason to hang OUR flag upside down. The US is NOT in distress. We're having a tough time...because we all allowed it to happen. If you voted for these morons, take some responsibility. Quit trying to say it's the other guy's fault. The GOP in the House of Representatives shut down the government. No one else. Our President (yeah...guess what, he's YOUR President too) isn't going to play the game and he's showed a rare bit of balls so far in his dealings with Boehner & Co. We ALL want a solution for this mess but we're not going to negotiate with political terrorists who are threatening the future of this country because they're not getting their way. And it's still no reason to fly OUR flag upside down.
P.S.
I didn't name names simply because I really do like the people mentioned above. I don't necessarily agree with you but I still like you. I just don't like you disrespecting OUR flag and OUR country and it's people by doing so.
Sure, our country is in a mess right now...but it's mostly a mess that we brought upon ourselves. Are we in distress? Hell no. Most of our problems are easily fixed if We The People WANT to fix them...but we don't...otherwise we would.
Before I go any further, allow me to attempt to demonstrate what the flag means to me. I've spend some fair chunks of time overseas. When I return home, I, admittedly, get a lump in my throat when I see our flag. That's right; OUR flag. It is a symbolic representation of our country, it's people, and it's history.
When I was a kid, I was in the Cub Scouts and the Boy Scouts. At that point in time, I'd have recommended the experience for every boy. It was a positive experience for me. Aside from studying history in school and at home, I learned more in the scouts. One of the many things we learned was flag etiquette. We learned when and how to fly the flag. We learned that it's not to touch the ground. Most of all, we learned to respect the flag and what it symbolizes.
My senior year in high school, they had us take the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) exam. I scored ridiculously high on it. So high, in fact, that I was asked to take it again in a different format, just to see if my score was as high as it appeared. It was. I was planning on a military career. I hated school and mostly wanted to be a musician, so I figured the Air Force Band was the route for me. All of the branches of the military openly and actively tried to recruit me. Top 3rd of my class, with honors, and a super high ASVAB score made me look like a mighty good catch to them. My father had been a captain in the Army, my uncle a captain in the old Army Air Corps, and dad had even been physician to the Eisenhower family. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I was disqualified due to health issues.
This didn't dampen my love and respect for flag and country. It was a different time then...but not so much different. Reagan was in the White House. Anyone who remembers Reagan as anything but a puppet president, doing the bidding of his hidden corporate handlers, is a fool. Don't believe me? Listen to some of the old early 80s punk rock. You'll get your history lesson right there.
Lots of my friends went into the military. It made sense. Where we grew up, the steel mills were already vanishing and jobs were becoming scarce. The military, which is voluntary, was a good career path for many. It opened up doors that would have otherwise remained closed to many of these kids. Some went career military, like my best friend, and some just did short 4 year stints.
I've been lucky in that I've always had a lot of friends. The only downside to this has been that over the years, I've had to bury many of them. Most have died in ways that they shouldn't have. Some were in accidents, some with diseases, some through foul play.
Sadly, some were killed in active duty. Some had the misfortune of stepping on a land mine. More sad still, some came home from the wars, and couldn't cope. Booze and/drugs numbed the pain for some. For some, even that wasn't enough. They came home and eventually took their own lives.
It's for all of these friends and more that I dedicate this.
To those of you who feel that hanging OUR flag upside down, which is a distress signal, is in any way, shape or form, appropriate during these times...you couldn't be more wrong. Look into the eyes of a veteran suffering from PTSD and ask yourself if they'd appreciate your actions. If they didn't slap you, they would probably, at the very least, call you a whiney fucking cry baby. And they would be right to do so!
Because, that's exactly what you people are. You feel that you're not getting your way, so you throw a tantrum. You love to complain about the situation but never have a solution. Worse yet, you do nothing to improve the situation. Instead, you do stupid things like fly the flag upside down. This shows you for who you are.
The morons in Congress were elected by YOU. The idiots who have financially shut down our government were elected by YOU. They too are whiney, sniveling motherfuckers who aren't getting their way, so they act rashly. This behavior is NOT in the best interests of this country or it's people.
When I see you fly the flag, OUR flag, upside down, it infuriates me. I take it as a slap in the face to every veteran I have ever known. I see it as spitting on the graves of my fallen friends. I take it as a personal insult as an American.
Americans are not quitters. That's NOT who we are. That's not how we're raised. When things get tough, WE get tougher! We don't just sit at home and bitch, moan, and complain and then go hang OUR flag upside down in defeat. Yeah...that's what you're doing. You're being quitters. Or worse, attention whores.
Sure, you'll argue that you're "patriots" and "real" Americans. But you just don't get it...do you? You're an angry, loud, messy minority. You're angry because it takes being more than white to get along. You ramble on about your nationalistic pride while driving your foreign cars, watching foreign-made TVs, and spewing your nationalistic vitriol on foreign-made computers and cell phones. What you seem to forget is that the people that you claim as heroes are the same ones who sold our country to the highest bidders. The exact same people who outsource American jobs and hire illegal immigrants to work American jobs. The same people who have gone out of their way to destroy American unions. If you had any clue of the history of this country, you would be ashamed of yourselves and your actions. But no...you don't. It's EASIER to complain than to actually do something. Rather than read an in-depth article on local and/or foreign affairs, you take a quick glance at sensationalized tabloid headlines. Rather than DO something productive, you'll watch "reality TV" and laugh at the goons and hillbillies...all the while not realizing that you're laughing at yourselves. Because that's who you are.
I don't say that you all are bad people. I don't believe that for a second. But you've allowed yourselves to be roped in by bullshit. These are scary times, for sure...but don't believe in the boogey man because someone tells you to. There is no boogey man...and currently, no reason to hang OUR flag upside down. The US is NOT in distress. We're having a tough time...because we all allowed it to happen. If you voted for these morons, take some responsibility. Quit trying to say it's the other guy's fault. The GOP in the House of Representatives shut down the government. No one else. Our President (yeah...guess what, he's YOUR President too) isn't going to play the game and he's showed a rare bit of balls so far in his dealings with Boehner & Co. We ALL want a solution for this mess but we're not going to negotiate with political terrorists who are threatening the future of this country because they're not getting their way. And it's still no reason to fly OUR flag upside down.
P.S.
I didn't name names simply because I really do like the people mentioned above. I don't necessarily agree with you but I still like you. I just don't like you disrespecting OUR flag and OUR country and it's people by doing so.
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