Father's Day

I allegedly have a mess of kids out there in this world. Sadly, I never got to be a dad to any of them. I think I would've been a good one. An ex girlfriend's daughter used to occasionally call me daddy...and let me tell ya, that kid grew up into an amazing young lady! I can only hope that the limited time we spent together had some miniscule cause & effect relationship that led to her awesomeness. (Her mom's genes probably helped too)

My dad is an amazing guy. He can be a grump and a SOB at times (like father, like son) but having spent 50+ years as a cardiologist, working 6-7 day weeks, 12-18 hours a day, can do that to a man. Anyone that I know who has met the man, always speaks highly of him.

When I was in a coma back in 2002, I suffered some brain damage and lost a lot of early memories. My childhood is a mass of random memories and second hand stories. One thing I do remember is my dad always working and saving lives. That's a tough act to follow! I knew by age 5 that I wanted nothing to do with being a doctor. That said, dad's career cast a long shadow over my life. I knew that my work should be centered on helping people. For 25 years, that's what I did. I chose the MH/MR field instead of medicine...and it was a good fit. Along the way, I also became an ordained minister...just another way of helping.

My dad & I aren't too close. It's just not in our nature. He was raised by stoic Germans and that rubbed off on me. Also, we see in each other all of the things we can't handle in ourselves. In me, my dad sees his dreams of being a writer and musician. In him, I see my need for order and discipline. Don't get me wrong, dad & I love each other and actually have grown to like each other...but it took some time.

On this Father's Day, I'd like to also give a nod to a guy who has been father-like to me. My buddy Al. He's a songwriter and musician. He's been in the Rock & Roll biz almost as long as there has been a Rock & Roll business. He's a great singer and writer. I think he gets too political at times...but that's his bag...and he's good at it.

Al & I hit it off pretty much from day one...but I suspect that he was initially more interested in the fact that I played guitar & bass and would do studio session work pretty much for the experience! He paid me in music. He would make me boxes of tapes of old 50s rock & roll, rockabilly, doo wop, blues, country, gospel, you name it. In the late 80s alone, I bet I recorded nearly 100 songs with him...some on guitar, most on bass. We can fight like Ali & Foreman (surprise surprise, we're both opinionated SOBs) but we do work well together.

He taught me most of what I know about songwriting, being a musician ("Dammit Metzger! Don't play over my vocals!"), and how to record and how not to record. He recorded the 1st Tremblers' record. He taught me to archive as much of my career as possible. That was his mistake in his own career. Not enough saved photos, posters, magazine articles, reviews, etc. Somewhere, in one of his many drawers and boxes of cassettes are tapes of me with The Swingin' Caddilacs, David Loy & The Ramrods, The Rowdy Bovines, and more studio stuff than I remember recording.

I've always considered him one of my best friends...but he's more than that. He really is like a 2nd dad to me. He's lived a truly unique life and God bless his wife Clara for putting up with him all these years. That woman is a saint!

I finally realized what our relationship was when I had my heart attack. Al got ahold of me and said "Parents aren't supposed to outlive their kids. You scared me." That was a real mindblower for me. Al ain't exactly one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He leaves that to his music. For him to say that, well, it meant a LOT to me.

So, for Father's Day, I called my birth dad. We had a nice talk. I spent the rest of the day listening to Al's music and reminsicing about songs we've recorded together. If my laptop wasn't on the fritz, I would've hooked up my VCR to it and watched some of the old studio videos. We can be like a bad comedy duo in the studio! I have no home movies of my family. The studio videos are my home movies. I see those and think back to how young, stupid and arrogant I was (yes...I was even worse back then!).  I learned a lot from that grumpy old SOB (both of them).

So, Happy Father's Day Dad...and Happy Father's Day to you Al! Take care of my quilt!

M