Comes A Time....

There comes a time in every one's life where they have to stop blaming others for their unhappiness.

Sure, pop psychology says it's OK to blame your parents for your upbringing, or to blame the bullies who picked on you, or the ice cream man who touched your secret no no place. But seriously...at some point, one must own up to their own life.

If you had a bad childhood...I'm sorry to hear it. So did I. So did most of the people I know. Few of them are total and complete emotional wrecks. Why? Because they took ownership of their own life.

Life is hard. There are NO guarantees except eventual death. (Now doesn't that sound just cheery!)
But...it's what YOU make of YOUR life that counts. To sit back and whine and complain and mope and bitch about how life and everyone in it has done you wrong is just counterproductive.

If for some reason or other you are incapable of coming to grips with life on your own, get a therapist. Or a dog. Or both. If the therapist ain't working, try another one. If the dog pisses on the carpet, learn to clean and learn to house train the dog. Don't complain about it.

Sure, venting is fine. We all need to from time to time. But when some one's entire life is centered on complaining, what kind of life is that?

As part of my faith, I believe in "Love thy neighbor". I honestly and sincerely try to get on with everyone. I can be abrasive, loud, immature, and obnoxious. That's my nature. I'm OK with it. Most folks can tell that I do genuinely care about my fellow humans (and most other creatures).  Some don't get me, and guess what...I'm OK with that too. That doesn't make them any less of a person to me. Just means we don't click.

In this day and age, people complain far too much. If I was one to complain, trust me...I could out-complain all of you! My life has been shattered in more ways than I care to think about. For starters, I have a bad ticker, no job, a criminal record that makes it difficult to find work, and a questionable future at this point. And that's just the obvious stuff! If I were to dwell on those aspects of my life, I'd be downright suicidal. But I don't.

I know the problems I have and I actively look for ways to fix them. A lot of them take time to fix. Lots of time. So far, that's one thing I've been blessed with. Time. If you woke up this morning, you've been blessed with time. Use it wisely.

If all you have in your life is misery and complaints, you may want to take a long, hard look in the mirror. You just might be the cause of your own problems. How so? Because you haven't taken ownership of your own life.

Want to be happy? Then fucking be happy! If you surround yourself with people and things that make you unhappy, get rid of them! If you don't, then you're choosing to be unhappy. That's fine too...just don't complain about it. You made the choice. Guess what...you can always change your mind.

Quit looking for the quick fix. It doesn't exist. Stop believing that someone else can fix your problems. They can't. Only YOU can. Most of all, stop complaining. If you have a problem, fix it. More importantly, take stock of all of the good and positive things in your life. Trust me, someone out there cares about you. You might not know it or possibly you're too self-absorbed to realize it...but someone does care. Someone would miss you if you weren't around.

Your past is just that...your past. It doesn't decide your present or your future. You do. Don't hold on to your past problems like an anchor. If you do, they'll hold you down like one. Let go and move on.

Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Easier said than done...but it is do-able. To hold on to anger, hatred, sorrow, misery, etc., is to give up on living your life. If someone has done something bad to you and you allow that action to control your life, you have given that person total control of your life. You have, in essence, become a slave. Most folks I know don't like the idea of being a slave. Do you?

Why am I writing this? Because I know many people who have become enslaved by their past. It ties them down, and rots away their soul. It makes them bitter and vitriolic...and the excuse is always the same. "I had such a bad life!" By remaining angry, bitter, sad, and/or miserable, you're only setting the course for a miserable existence. No one wants that.

Let it go. Take ownership of your life. Take control of your destiny. Fate doesn't control it. You do.