Skip to main content

Urinal Cakes & Ice Cream

Kinda sounds like a comedy routine, doesn't it?

The young'un LOVES candy. One of her faves is Skittles. Now I'll whole-heartedly admit that I've enjoyed a Skittle or two in my day...but nowhere near as much as the young'un does. She can eat a 5 pound bag of them in one sitting. My only real problem with Skittles is their smell. I think they smell like urinal cakes.

For those unfamiliar with urinal cakes, they are the deodorizing pink 'cakes' placed in urinals in public restrooms to keep the odor to a minimum...basically because most men are too fucking lazy to flush a public toilet. The smell is somewhere between Fruity Pebbles cereal and baby aspirin. That's what Skittles smell like (to me).

It's not a particularly horrible smell...although a tad sweet smelling. The problem for me is this: when she's eating a bag of Skittles, and the smell reminds me of urinal cakes, my brain equates this with the stench of a dirty public restroom...and I want to gag. Sorry, it's just how my brain works.

**********************************************************************************

I scream! You Scream! We ALL scream for Ice Cream!!!!

Really now...who doesn't enjoy ice cream now and then? In my 46 years, I don't believe I've ever met a person who dislikes ice cream. Sure...there may be reasons one shouldn't eat it (it's full of fat and sugar)...but who doesn't enjoy it at least once in a while?

It's summer. It's hot out. Perfect weather for ice cream. My only problem with it? (and let's be honest...you KNEW there would be one) You have to eat it really fast or else it becomes a runny, drippy mess. And worse...it warms up.

It was a hot and humid day...so the young'un and I ran to the store to pick up some ice cream. I, for one, could not WAIT to get home and dish up a bowl of ice cream. Chocolate! My fave!!!!!! But...we don't have central air. Usually not a problem...but this summer has been pretty nonstop heat-wise...so it's 81 degrees in the house. Not really uncomfortable...but not ideal for enjoying a leisurely dish of ice cream.

I dolloped three delicious scoops into a bowl and the race was on! I have issues with food. I like my hot food HOT and my cold food COLD. I also have major issues with textures. (don't get me started on strawberries and kiwis...2 fruits that I WOULD love...if it weren't for their textural issues)

Trying to enjoy ice cream in an 80+ degree house is a challenge for me. Eat it too fast...BRAIN FREEZE!!!!!!! We all know what that is. You eat or drink something cold too quickly and you get a headache that has to be comparable to a major stroke or brain aneurysm . It's agony. Luckily, they don't last long.

Eat the ice cream too slowly...and for me, this is an even worse problem. The ice cream melts in the bowl and becomes a tepid mess of thick, chocolate goo. Sure...it TASTES the same...but the texture of the ice cream has changed...and I can't really eat it. It's a cold food that it no longer truly cold...and the texture is gone. Ruined. At least for me.

So I have to gobble it down...but not so fast that I get the dreaded BRAIN FREEZE. Luckily, in my 46 years on this planet...I've pretty much mastered this. Sure...my table manners deteriorate to a level that would have guaranteed me a smack in the head from my grandmother...but, to me, it's necessary.

OK...I'm sure this has been more information about my own personal quirks than you really needed to know...but you read it. And I bet you laughed. And I bet some of you are every bit as weird about food as I am!

Time to go play with the cat. Meow. (the heat is getting to me....)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Haunted Pittsburgh #2: A Ghost Close to Home

You could almost say I have a ghost in my own backyard! Well, not quite my back yard but at least close to home. You'd think that living close to a cemetary, I'd be telling of ghosts there but you'd be wrong! This is the story of Peter, a little boy ghost. I've heard this story for years! My family has lived in this area since the early 20th century. Up until recently, the oldest house in Allegheny county was our family homestead, but after the death of my great aunt Alberta, the house was sold. My grandmother and great aunts used to tell me stories of prohibition and all the crazy times. I wish my great aunt Ann was alive so I could get more information on this alleged 'bordello'. (she lived right up the street...but WAS NOT a working girl! LOL)Anyhoo, on with the story... BLAHA FLOWER SHOP (Etna, Allegheny County) Shop owner David Kornely relocated his flower and gift shop to Bridge Street in Etna in 1991. He had heard the building was haunted but had no secon...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Publishing Journey So Far (Apparently Success Is Expensive)

 "Creativity is intelligence having fun." Allegedly, Einstein said that. Doesn't matter if he did or didn't, I like the quote. Before I self-published my first book, I looked into all sorts of different options. The literary agents I spoke with (who all sounded like they recently graduated from college - aka they sounded like children to these old ears) almost turned me off of writing forever. I spoke with folks from a few small publishing houses, and Geez Louise, if your first complaint is how little money you're making, maybe try a different career path. I would have thought that NO ONE was making any money - but I was soon to find out just who is. Barnes and Noble is one of the last remaining bookstore chains. Personally, I always preferred Borders, but they're long gone. Walden was another fave. Coles was pretty good. I can still spend a tidy sum at Half-Price Books (and MUSIC!) but I save that for special occasions. I am, admittedly, a library guy. As I o...
Post a Comment
Read more

LITTLE GUY (Available NOW)

My latest collection LITTLE GUY is now available from Barnes & Noble. Another collection so soon? Prolific! I can understand how one might think that. The reality is much simpler. It just took me forever to compile the collections and publish them.  I've always been an indie kinda guy. We can probably blame my late friend & mentor Alan Leatherwood. Back in the 1980s, I'd never really given much thought to indie releases of any kind. Oh sure, I knew that bands put out cassettes and 7" singles from time to time, but I'd never considered it something in my skill set. I'd written for a handful of underground magazines, but even those relied on some level of ad revenue. Again, stuff I had little useful knowledge of.  In 2023, I started writing a history of American music. After a few months, I scrapped it (for mostly personal reasons) - but the writing continued. I've almost always been writing. Songs, poetry, prose, lists, lists, lists, reviews, hell, I ha...
Post a Comment
Read more