Urinal Cakes & Ice Cream

Kinda sounds like a comedy routine, doesn't it?

The young'un LOVES candy. One of her faves is Skittles. Now I'll whole-heartedly admit that I've enjoyed a Skittle or two in my day...but nowhere near as much as the young'un does. She can eat a 5 pound bag of them in one sitting. My only real problem with Skittles is their smell. I think they smell like urinal cakes.

For those unfamiliar with urinal cakes, they are the deodorizing pink 'cakes' placed in urinals in public restrooms to keep the odor to a minimum...basically because most men are too fucking lazy to flush a public toilet. The smell is somewhere between Fruity Pebbles cereal and baby aspirin. That's what Skittles smell like (to me).

It's not a particularly horrible smell...although a tad sweet smelling. The problem for me is this: when she's eating a bag of Skittles, and the smell reminds me of urinal cakes, my brain equates this with the stench of a dirty public restroom...and I want to gag. Sorry, it's just how my brain works.

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I scream! You Scream! We ALL scream for Ice Cream!!!!

Really now...who doesn't enjoy ice cream now and then? In my 46 years, I don't believe I've ever met a person who dislikes ice cream. Sure...there may be reasons one shouldn't eat it (it's full of fat and sugar)...but who doesn't enjoy it at least once in a while?

It's summer. It's hot out. Perfect weather for ice cream. My only problem with it? (and let's be honest...you KNEW there would be one) You have to eat it really fast or else it becomes a runny, drippy mess. And worse...it warms up.

It was a hot and humid day...so the young'un and I ran to the store to pick up some ice cream. I, for one, could not WAIT to get home and dish up a bowl of ice cream. Chocolate! My fave!!!!!! But...we don't have central air. Usually not a problem...but this summer has been pretty nonstop heat-wise...so it's 81 degrees in the house. Not really uncomfortable...but not ideal for enjoying a leisurely dish of ice cream.

I dolloped three delicious scoops into a bowl and the race was on! I have issues with food. I like my hot food HOT and my cold food COLD. I also have major issues with textures. (don't get me started on strawberries and kiwis...2 fruits that I WOULD love...if it weren't for their textural issues)

Trying to enjoy ice cream in an 80+ degree house is a challenge for me. Eat it too fast...BRAIN FREEZE!!!!!!! We all know what that is. You eat or drink something cold too quickly and you get a headache that has to be comparable to a major stroke or brain aneurysm . It's agony. Luckily, they don't last long.

Eat the ice cream too slowly...and for me, this is an even worse problem. The ice cream melts in the bowl and becomes a tepid mess of thick, chocolate goo. Sure...it TASTES the same...but the texture of the ice cream has changed...and I can't really eat it. It's a cold food that it no longer truly cold...and the texture is gone. Ruined. At least for me.

So I have to gobble it down...but not so fast that I get the dreaded BRAIN FREEZE. Luckily, in my 46 years on this planet...I've pretty much mastered this. Sure...my table manners deteriorate to a level that would have guaranteed me a smack in the head from my grandmother...but, to me, it's necessary.

OK...I'm sure this has been more information about my own personal quirks than you really needed to know...but you read it. And I bet you laughed. And I bet some of you are every bit as weird about food as I am!

Time to go play with the cat. Meow. (the heat is getting to me....)