I was conversing with a friend of 20 or so years this eve & she I both commented on how difficult its becoming to have a serious talk with people in their 20s (or younger). If I've learned nothing else in my nearly 44 years on this chunk O dirt, I've learned to listen to my elders and their experiences and to bare them in mind when making my own decisions. I've learned to temper my impulses with some good old fashioned common sense. I attribute much of the success that I've enjoyed to the words of those who came before me. I listened to every word. Sure, I often went my own way but not without remembering the words of my elders. I've also learned that many of my failures could have been averted had I followed the advice of these same elders.
So, to all the 20-somethings out there who think they know it all, know what they're doing and have it all planned and figured out...GOOD FOR YOU! I hope that your vast knowledge lasts your entire life and that all the big plans you have come to fruition. Those of us who are older know better. We know that life throws curve balls and that you have to work hard for all the truly good things in life. There are no real short cuts. Learn to be happy with who you are and the things you have in life. Learn to plan ahead. Most importantly, keep on LEARNING.
My mind has been on your generation all week. A good friend, who is in her 20s, is planning to have her face chopped up by a plastic surgeon. She claims to be happy and well adjusted. Just so you know, she's a very attractive young lady. She has a very pretty face, nice body, good smile, no scars, blemishes, etc...but for some reason she feels that she "needs" to have her face altered. As her surgeon of choice put it, she doesn't need much "work". In short, she doesn't need any work...at least not on the outside. Her surgeon, I feel, should have his license revoked for even considering doing any work on her. Sure, I hear ya...it's HER decision...but what happens if something goes wrong? An infection, a surgical accident, etc...or more likely, what happens as she gets older and realizes it was all a mistake. Will she be comforted by the knowledge that it was her choice?
No, I think she needs to spend more time working on who she is inside. I've known her for years and the main reason that we're friends is that she has always been surprisingly mature and wise for her years. This decision of hers to have her face chopped up just truly disturbs me. Is this generation of hers so insecure that they feel that they have to meet some unattainable standard set forth by the media? Is this the 21st century version of 'keeping up with the Joneses'?
Obviously, she's making enough money to be able to afford to pay a private surgeon. She claims to love her job. So why this "need" of hers to alter her looks and risk the potential harm of (any) surgery? She claims that my questioning her motives has upset her...to which I will not apologize. Sometimes a friend has to say things you don't want to hear...but thats one of the things that a real friend is for. Will a new face really make her happy? Those of us of a certain age know better. Sure...if she was disfigured and plastic surgery could give her a more normal life...but that isn't the case. As I stated before, she's very attractive. I know many women who would kill for her looks. Her reasoning is because she "needs" to do this and it will make her happier...I'm sorry, I just think that's fucked up.
My friend is living the good life. Good job with good pay, a nice apartment in a vibrant, exciting city. She is asked on many dates but doesn't have one special guy...but at her age, she should just enjoy it. I think she's too young to seriously consider marriage. Time she has. I pray that her future time isn't spent regretting an impulsive mistake. If she was my daughter, I'd have the same worries. She's a good gal...but this "choice" to chop her face up just boggles my mind.
But she's a grown woman...in her mid 20s, well educated...more than capable of making her own decisions. The only thing she's lacking is, unfortunately, the most important: experience. In many of the things she does, it seems like she's trying to rush rush rush. I fear that our highly-evolved, technologically advanced society has created a generation of people who are overly impulsive...incapable of waiting & thinking things through. It's become a disposable, fast-food world. The only problem is that people aren't disposable. My biggest worry for her is...what if this doesn't bring her the happiness she thinks it will? What then? Another surgery? At what point does a person realize that only they themselves are capable of creating their own happiness? I pray for her. I pray that she snaps out of this before the doctor's first cut.
So, to you younger folks out there...let this be a lesson. Everything that you do, no matter how small it may seem to you, does indeed effect other people. There are people out there who care about you and only want true happiness for you. That happiness does not come in the form of a bottle, a pill, a nose-job, chin-lift, tummy tuck, tattoo, piercing, etc. In short...don't be stupid. Your elders, of which I am one, love and care about you.
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