It takes a lot to make me puke. In my youth, the only things that would do it were cooked spinach or mixing weed & cheap booze. Mojo Nixon managed to make me puke.
Was it really almost 30 years ago? Damn. I'm getting long in the tooth. The Rowdy Bovines had done a show with Mojo Nixon over at Graffiti. Always a fun joint, it was a mid-sized showcase venue (for those of yinz too young or too wasted to recall). I loved everything about the place except for the load-in and the cheap beer they always gave the Bovines. Usually Iron City. On rare occasions, Bud Ice (remember ice beers?). I rarely left the gigs feeling less than fine AND dandy. This gig was no exception. Mojo invited us (and a few others) back to his hotel to party. Comfortably in my 20s, I wasn't one to say NO.
He was staying downtown at the Doubletree, which was a much nicer hotel than most musicians stayed at. The place was only a few years old at the time and was pretty fancy, especially by early 90s Yinzer standards. His room, a double, was nice but it wasn't the Ritz Carlton by any means. When Red Elvis and I got there, a small crowd was already in the room. Maybe 20 or so people. This made for a bit of a crowded atmosphere. Someone had kindly filled the bathtub with ice and a few cases of beer. The party was on. I had my eyes on a young lady, but alas, it wasn't to be. Mojo cornered me. A mutual friend had told him that I grew up in Steubenville, and Mojo, at the time, had a great interest in the town and one of its better-known sons. To say he had a lot of questions was putting it mildly. Without even asking, he poured me one hellacious gin and tonic and began his interrogation (which at times is what it felt like). I've never been a gin man, but I've never believed in looking a gift horse in the mouth and telling him he has cavities either. This led to more questions, more gin, and eventually many lines of cocaine. We pretty much ignored everyone, talking about 'Little Chicago'. Some questions remained unanswered, for reasons I hope he understood.
Red Elvis and I left around 7 or 8 am. I was more wasted than any 3 people had a right to be. We got lost trying to find the elevator. This was especially bad as the beers; gin & Colombian snowflakes weren't mixing well. I could feel my stomach forming an internal mosh pit. I remember thinking how bland the wallpaper was, and how ugly the patterned maroon carpet was. And then it hit.
If you're one of the lucky ones to have never witnessed me getting sick, I do it with great force. Sort of a full body heave, complete with deafening roars, and the ensuing projectile emanations not unlike young Ms. Blair in The Exorcist. With each step, I had to pause, puke, and attempt further egress. It's safe to say that the wallpaper and carpet, at least in that particular hallway, had to be replaced. No real loss. Like I said, it was hideous.
Red Elvis and I made it to the parking garage and my car (aka The Bart Mobile). I wasn't even in the same neighborhood as 'OK to drive', so I threw the keys to Red Elvis so he could drive. If you know me, you know this is rare. I don't like other people driving my vehicles. I'm particular, OK?
Mojo and I crossed paths many times over the next decade. My career slowly crept upward and his was all over the place. If you never got the chance to see him live, I feel sorry for you. He was one helluva entertainer. Never a great singer, he was an alright guitarist when he wanted to be. He always knew he could entertain you and he was a loud enough character to make sure you didn't miss the opportunity. I think the last time I heard from him was around 2008 or 09. He sounded like he was having a good run of luck and was as loud as ever. My health was already starting to slow me down a little.
Reading tonight that Mojo died of a 'cardiac event', definitely caught my attention, but it didn't surprise me. I'll wager he was having FUN up until the very last second. Rest In Peace ya fuckin' Wildman. The world has just become quieter and infinitely less fun without you. Thanks for all you've left behind. I hope your questions find answers on the other side.
