Once upon a time, I was a bass player. I never strived to be one; I just became one.
The band I was in at the time (The Swingin' Caddilacs, circa 1982 or so) needed a bass player and I just happened to own an electric bass (a very nice Hondo P-bass copy). I also owned an Ampeg V4 amp, which while not a bass amp per se, more than handled the job (for years).
I figured this would last maybe a few months. I was wrong. I spent the next 8 years as a bassist. I got pretty good at it. I gigged with a number of bands, did session work, and eventually graduated to playing the upright bass. NOTE: Playing upright bass is very physically challenging. It's like wrestling a corpse on a dance floor. If you ever see someone playing an upright (aka dog house, bull fiddle, double bass), you need to show them the respect they've earned. Regardless of the player's proficiency, it's a demanding instrument. The player's entire body is involved. It's also a helluva lotta fun!!!!!!!! It's also a tricky instrument as there are no frets...so you have to learn where the notes are, pretty much by feel. No two basses are exactly alike in this respect. The player has to know his/her instrument well!
Last night, I did my first show on upright in about 15 years. Hell, I haven't even OWNED one in 20 years. I was asked, last week, if I could help some friends (The Bessemers) out and sit in with them, as their bass player couldn't make a gig. I agreed, and then called my friend Bobby to borrow his bass (a lovely old 1960 Kay 3/4). I spent 4 days practicing the set list. Learning the actual songs was easy. Playing them, well, on an upright was not. Over the years, I'd lost my calluses, was no longer accustomed to using certain muscles and tendons, and had become very out of shape for this level of playing. What can I say? I'm a guitar player...and we're a lazy bunch.
After the first three days, I'd shredded the fingers on my right hand. My hands were swollen and sore as hell. I finally let myself tape my fingers. Upright bass players are not a weak breed! We'll usually play through the pain. If I'd had a few weeks to gear up for this show, I would've been fine and wouldn't have had to tape...but as time was an issue, I taped up. After the way I played last night, I'm really glad that I did!
Before I go any further, I have to thank my buddy Josh (bassist for Pittsburgh's own Armadillos) for letting me use his rig. He has a gorgeous Englehart bass with surprisingly nice gut strings. I'd always used steel strings and was surprised at the volume and tone the guts had. He also has a great GK bass amp set up. Small but surprisingly powerful! And NO FEEDBACK! Things sure have changed in the past 20 years! Back when I was playing bass regularly, we had to haul around these behemoth amps, our pick ups were usually big, clunky humbuckers that attached to the bottom of the fingerboard (and inevitably got in the way), and feedback was always an issue. I knew guys that stuffed their basses with everything from old rags to insulation foam! The gear nowadays is a dream! And it sounds authentic too! Last night, the sound coming through the amp sounded like nothing more than a really LOUD acoustic upright bass. It was a dream!
Playing upright bass is definitely not inexpensive. A decent bass is going to cost you a grand or more. Sure, you can find cheap ones...but you get what you pay for. It doesn't end there. Strings for an upright will usually start at around $100 and up. And yes Virginia, you will need to change them from time to time. Then there's the cost of a decent amp (that GK was amazing!), a pickup system, EQ, cables...and of course, a vehicle large enough to transport the whole mess. This isn't something you can just hop on the bus with!
Back to the show. We had a blast. Unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to rehearse. Fortunately, we'd all played together before. Some of the songs I knew already, some were completely new to me. The keys that we played the songs in weren't necessarily the keys I learned the songs in (NOTE: being able to transpose keys on the spot is a MUST for any working musician). But it was show time and it was time to stand of fall.
I'd have to say that we did a good job. Not only did I have to play with these guys, they had to play with me. My bass parts probably aren't identical to how their regular bass player plays. It took a lot of visual cues between all four of us to make it work...and work it did! I have to honestly say that this was one of the most fun shows I've done in YEARS! My hands would cramp up but I had no choice but to keep on playing. While playing, I remembered some of my old tricks and embellished parts a bit here and there with double slap flourishes. I even threw in a couple of triple slaps here and there. Most importantly, the crowd responded well. They all seemed to be having as much fun as we were. Now THAT's rock & roll!
So many people were kind enough to compliment me last night. Thank You to all of you. Many more bought me drinks. I was feeling no pain when I left. This morning, however, is a whole different story. My hands feel like I went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. My hands are still a bit swollen from all that playing...but ya know what? I'd do it again in a heart beat! I just may start looking around for an upright bass. I forgot just how fun this can be!
Remember to support live music. The musicians out there aren't making much, if anything. I made a whopping $25 last night. I didn't do the show for money, that's a fact. I did it to help my friends out and have a bit of fun. But the next time that you are considering going to see a live band, GO. You'll probably enjoy yourself. It takes a lot of money for these guys to play a show. Gear costs money, and the time spent learning an instrument, learning songs and learning how to play with a group all equates to money. Time is money. If your time isn't worth anything, I feel for you. Mine is. I'll tell ya...I can't remember the last time I worked so hard for so little...or had that much fun doing it! I look forward to doing it again!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A Guy Fawkes Statue For Parliament
I was chatting with an old friend, Adrian, from the UK today. Normally, we'll talk music or share bad jokes...but today was different. We got on the subject of the economy and politics. We discussed how too many of our contemporaries are all too willing to "sit at home, moan & groan, and take it on the chin" from our governments. It's the old "you can't fight city hall" mentality. I, for one, find this type of thinking sad.
Adrian had stated his unhappiness with Britain spending $8 million to host the Olympics. I tried to play Devil's Advocate and point out the revenues from outside the games that this should produce, but Adrian made it clear that most of his fellow countrymen won't see a penny of it. Britain, like many other countries, is still suffering from the economic woes that are plaguing most of the world. There don't seem to be enough jobs or enough money to go around...yet the rich keep on becoming richer. The same problem as everywhere else.
This problem, as I see it, it due in large part to the average person avoiding participation in solving the problem. Say what you will about the French, but their government shakes in it's boots when the people are angry. And that's how is should be!
My friend Adrian brought up an interesting idea. He doesn't see it happening but admits that he would gladly see his tax money spent to fund it. He suggested a statue of Guy Fawkes to be erected outside the Houses of Parliament. I told him that I thought it was a brilliant idea!
For those unfamiliar, Guy Fawkes is the best known of the 13 conspirators who, in 1605, plotted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. The Gunpowder Plot, as it's often referred to, failed...but 407 years later, it is still remembered. November 5, known as Guy Fawkes Night or Bonfire Night, is a celebration of just how close the government came to being decimated by it's own citizens. The history is far more complex than I care to go into here (but I highly suggest researching it...it's fascinating stuff!). Most of you have, no doubt, either seen the film V For Vendetta, read the graphic novels, or at least seen protesters wearing Guy Fawkes masks. 407 years later and Guy Fawkes has become somewhat of a hero for the common men and women who only ask for justice for all.
I told Adrian that I thought his idea of a statue outside of Parliament is brilliant but he doesn't see the government going along with it. As I reminded him, a government's job is to work FOR it's people, not vice versa. I think that having a statue of Guy Fawkes outside the Houses of Parliament might be a healthy, daily reminder of just who the real boss is.
I think that artists around the world would be more than happy to have this chance at creating a lasting piece of history! Any smart artist would do it pro bono...the reputation alone would almost guarantee them a lifetime of work and notoriety.
So dear reader, I ask YOU: Do any of you have any idea of just how one would go about making this happen? Who in the British government would I contact in regards to this? If any of you have an idea, please contact me here.
In closing, please remember, reader, that YOU have it within YOUR power to effect change. Change rarely happens overnight...but it does and can happen...and YOU can be part of it!
Remind your government officials, no matter where you live, just WHO is really in charge. Hint: it's not them!
Adrian had stated his unhappiness with Britain spending $8 million to host the Olympics. I tried to play Devil's Advocate and point out the revenues from outside the games that this should produce, but Adrian made it clear that most of his fellow countrymen won't see a penny of it. Britain, like many other countries, is still suffering from the economic woes that are plaguing most of the world. There don't seem to be enough jobs or enough money to go around...yet the rich keep on becoming richer. The same problem as everywhere else.
This problem, as I see it, it due in large part to the average person avoiding participation in solving the problem. Say what you will about the French, but their government shakes in it's boots when the people are angry. And that's how is should be!
My friend Adrian brought up an interesting idea. He doesn't see it happening but admits that he would gladly see his tax money spent to fund it. He suggested a statue of Guy Fawkes to be erected outside the Houses of Parliament. I told him that I thought it was a brilliant idea!
I told Adrian that I thought his idea of a statue outside of Parliament is brilliant but he doesn't see the government going along with it. As I reminded him, a government's job is to work FOR it's people, not vice versa. I think that having a statue of Guy Fawkes outside the Houses of Parliament might be a healthy, daily reminder of just who the real boss is.
I think that artists around the world would be more than happy to have this chance at creating a lasting piece of history! Any smart artist would do it pro bono...the reputation alone would almost guarantee them a lifetime of work and notoriety.
So dear reader, I ask YOU: Do any of you have any idea of just how one would go about making this happen? Who in the British government would I contact in regards to this? If any of you have an idea, please contact me here.
In closing, please remember, reader, that YOU have it within YOUR power to effect change. Change rarely happens overnight...but it does and can happen...and YOU can be part of it!
Remind your government officials, no matter where you live, just WHO is really in charge. Hint: it's not them!
Kool Aid
It's funny...I know so many right wingers that love to say things like "...just keep drinking that Kool Aid". They are, of course, referencing Jim Jones' poisoned Kool Aid with which he and his followers committed mass suicide. While madness and mass-suicide, as a rule, are not particularly amusing, I find it humorous that these folks like to believe that anyone who doesn't follow their ideology must be brainwashed. Funny.
Let's talk about brainwashing, shall we? The extreme right, you know, the Tea Party, Republicans, the religious Right, etc., are masters of brainwashing! They have convinced so many people to believe ridiculous lies. Their weapon of choice? Fear. They figure if it works for the 6 o'clock news (we've all seen the fear-based tags..."Local women eats a sandwich...AND DIES! More about this story after a few words from our sponsors") it can/will work for them too. And it has.
One of my personal faves is how the right wingers love to call Obama (you know, that guy that won the 2008 election and is OUR President) a socialist. WOOOOOOOOO! Scary word! It sounds like communist! Russians! Pinko commie bastards! Well folks, yes...modern socialism has it's origins in Marxist communism. But that's kinda like saying that a Ferrari is exactly the same as a Model T because they're both cars. While there are some similarities, we're talking two completely different critters.
Communism, on paper, sounds good. In communism, everyone is equal. Everyone works for the greater good of the whole. If you ever played sports, you were taught communism. "A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link" is communism through and through. The main problem with communism is simple: the human element has to be added. With that, you get greed, corruption, and all-around bad stuff. That's why communism has never worked. But...always a but...many countries saw that communism had a few good ideas buried amongst the crap. They saw a way to help out ALL of the people while at the same time, allowing people a chance to thrive.
Many of our allies in the EU are technically socialists. And many of them have a good life. Look up any recent list of the best places to live based on the Quality of Life Index and every country you see has some form of socialism. How can that be? Simple. They understand that borrowing an idea or two from a failed concept doesn't doom them to failure. They simply borrow the best ideas and find ways to make them work...for everyone!
The USA is incapable of doing that. Why? Leaving out, for a moment, greed & corruption, it's because we, as a people, cling so dearly to the (alleged*) ideas of our founding fathers. Life! Liberty! And the pursuit of Happiness! Let's also remember slavery...which was commonplace here at the time. So, as you can see, things DO change. Life evolves. Cultures evolve. Mindsets evolve. 200 years ago, if I wanted a slave, I could go out and buy one. If I said today that I want a slave, I would be looked down upon as an evil person. See? Things change.
The extreme Right wingers of our country are, sadly, the ones who get the airtime. Why? It makes for a more sensational story...which will get the audience to tune in...so the media can sell them toilet paper. The same thing happened four years ago with Obama. CHANGE! was his rallying cry. The country drank the Obama Kool Aid...and we, surprisingly, haven't died en masse. I'll admit it...I voted for Obama. I liked his ideas. I also knew that he would face an uphill battle. There he was, a black man with new ideas. The good ol' boys club wasn't going to sit well with that...and from day one, they've fought him. Obama has done everything a good President should. He has tried to work with both parties in Congress. Yet the extreme right call him names, question everything from his religious beliefs to his nationality. While doing this, the Right keeps telling more and more lies, following Goebbels' notion that the longer you tell a lie, people will eventually believe it. Who's drinking the proverbial Kool Aid now?
I'm not saying the left are any better. They seem to be more tech savvy...that's for sure. Going back to Kennedy, they've always been more tech savvy. Kennedy understood that TV was the new medium for exposure, and he used it well to his advantage. Now the Left wingers use social media like Facebook and Youtube. The Right wing is catching up though. Both sides edit and use things out of context. Let's not forget the usual mud-slinging. Most Americans are gullible enough to believe whatever they hear first and/or most often. I'm not saying ALL...I'm saying MOST. The average American might know a thing or two about the issues they hear on the news...but that's it. Most base their knowledge on opinions rather than facts. Nothing new under the sun Horatio.
So, the Right Wingers tell us to enjoy our Kool Aid. They sure seem to be enjoying theirs! Enjoying it so much, in fact, that they've taken to chugging it by the gallon! With each gulp, they convince themselves more and more that they MUST be right. The Left does the same. The only thing all of this Kool Aid chugging is bringing about is a divide. Once again, those in the Middle will have to sort things out. I can only hope they're drinking Coke or Pepsi...anything but Kool Aid!
(This blog/rant is in no way referencing actual Kool Aid, the powdery substance one adds to water and sugar to make a tasty beverage; a product of Kraft Foods. I like Kool Aid.)
* I say "alleged" because many Republicans in this campaign so far, seem to know little about our founding fathers. Anyone remember Michelle Bachman?
Let's talk about brainwashing, shall we? The extreme right, you know, the Tea Party, Republicans, the religious Right, etc., are masters of brainwashing! They have convinced so many people to believe ridiculous lies. Their weapon of choice? Fear. They figure if it works for the 6 o'clock news (we've all seen the fear-based tags..."Local women eats a sandwich...AND DIES! More about this story after a few words from our sponsors") it can/will work for them too. And it has.
One of my personal faves is how the right wingers love to call Obama (you know, that guy that won the 2008 election and is OUR President) a socialist. WOOOOOOOOO! Scary word! It sounds like communist! Russians! Pinko commie bastards! Well folks, yes...modern socialism has it's origins in Marxist communism. But that's kinda like saying that a Ferrari is exactly the same as a Model T because they're both cars. While there are some similarities, we're talking two completely different critters.
Communism, on paper, sounds good. In communism, everyone is equal. Everyone works for the greater good of the whole. If you ever played sports, you were taught communism. "A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link" is communism through and through. The main problem with communism is simple: the human element has to be added. With that, you get greed, corruption, and all-around bad stuff. That's why communism has never worked. But...always a but...many countries saw that communism had a few good ideas buried amongst the crap. They saw a way to help out ALL of the people while at the same time, allowing people a chance to thrive.
Many of our allies in the EU are technically socialists. And many of them have a good life. Look up any recent list of the best places to live based on the Quality of Life Index and every country you see has some form of socialism. How can that be? Simple. They understand that borrowing an idea or two from a failed concept doesn't doom them to failure. They simply borrow the best ideas and find ways to make them work...for everyone!
The USA is incapable of doing that. Why? Leaving out, for a moment, greed & corruption, it's because we, as a people, cling so dearly to the (alleged*) ideas of our founding fathers. Life! Liberty! And the pursuit of Happiness! Let's also remember slavery...which was commonplace here at the time. So, as you can see, things DO change. Life evolves. Cultures evolve. Mindsets evolve. 200 years ago, if I wanted a slave, I could go out and buy one. If I said today that I want a slave, I would be looked down upon as an evil person. See? Things change.
The extreme Right wingers of our country are, sadly, the ones who get the airtime. Why? It makes for a more sensational story...which will get the audience to tune in...so the media can sell them toilet paper. The same thing happened four years ago with Obama. CHANGE! was his rallying cry. The country drank the Obama Kool Aid...and we, surprisingly, haven't died en masse. I'll admit it...I voted for Obama. I liked his ideas. I also knew that he would face an uphill battle. There he was, a black man with new ideas. The good ol' boys club wasn't going to sit well with that...and from day one, they've fought him. Obama has done everything a good President should. He has tried to work with both parties in Congress. Yet the extreme right call him names, question everything from his religious beliefs to his nationality. While doing this, the Right keeps telling more and more lies, following Goebbels' notion that the longer you tell a lie, people will eventually believe it. Who's drinking the proverbial Kool Aid now?
I'm not saying the left are any better. They seem to be more tech savvy...that's for sure. Going back to Kennedy, they've always been more tech savvy. Kennedy understood that TV was the new medium for exposure, and he used it well to his advantage. Now the Left wingers use social media like Facebook and Youtube. The Right wing is catching up though. Both sides edit and use things out of context. Let's not forget the usual mud-slinging. Most Americans are gullible enough to believe whatever they hear first and/or most often. I'm not saying ALL...I'm saying MOST. The average American might know a thing or two about the issues they hear on the news...but that's it. Most base their knowledge on opinions rather than facts. Nothing new under the sun Horatio.
So, the Right Wingers tell us to enjoy our Kool Aid. They sure seem to be enjoying theirs! Enjoying it so much, in fact, that they've taken to chugging it by the gallon! With each gulp, they convince themselves more and more that they MUST be right. The Left does the same. The only thing all of this Kool Aid chugging is bringing about is a divide. Once again, those in the Middle will have to sort things out. I can only hope they're drinking Coke or Pepsi...anything but Kool Aid!
(This blog/rant is in no way referencing actual Kool Aid, the powdery substance one adds to water and sugar to make a tasty beverage; a product of Kraft Foods. I like Kool Aid.)
* I say "alleged" because many Republicans in this campaign so far, seem to know little about our founding fathers. Anyone remember Michelle Bachman?
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The New Civil War
It's getting to be that time again kids. This country appears to be ridiculously divided on issues that seem pretty much "non issues" to most of us. Back in the 19th century it was slavery. Ending slavery meant, for the most part, that a bunch of rich, white southern guys were going to lose "free" labor and their feelings of superiority. In reality, it probably cost more to buy, house and feed slaves than these guys actually lost. So that leaves bigotry and it's ensuing feelings of superiority (aka control).
North Carolina has just made damned sure that ain't no homersexshals gittin' hitched there! I can just hear all of the slack-jawed yokels crying "Hell, it just ain't right for no 2 mens or womens gettin' hitched together". But as those of us with at least semi functioning brains can attest, there's no problem with two consenting adults wanting to share their lives together.
Sure sure sure...Cletus and the good ol' boys will carry on that such marriages are an abomination in God's eyes. Funny, I'd always been taught that it was a sin to presume to know the mind of God. While incest (aka unclefuckingcousintouching) was relatively common in the Bible, most of us today agree it's pretty gross. I'm sure that Bubba & Co. would rather fuck their 10 year old daughters before allowing two consenting adults, who just happen to share similar genitals, to marry because they LOVE each other. (again...I was always taught that the premier point of Christ's teachings was "love")
I'm sure the good ol' boys and their wives are only concerned about the religious aspect. Right? Well now, let's think about this. Religion seems to be such a big point of reference for these whackadoos...yet churches are tax exempt. Can someone explain this to me? How is it that Christian extremists (essentially the American equivalent of the Taliban) are of the mind that they should get to decide how everyone else lives, yet their own churches do nothing to monetarily benefit the greater good of the state?
It all boils down to this: bigotry and it's ensuing feelings of superiority (aka control). Have we as a people become so lost in our lives that we can only feel good controlling someone else? Because folks, that's what it's about - control. It's nothing new. It's what it's always been about. It's why religion exists. It's why governments exist.
So, to all of you Biblical literists, please never let me catch any of you doing the following:
Give me a while and I'll compile a more complete list if you wish...all based, quite literally, on The Bible.
Any of you good ol' boys, religious whackadoos, and assorted miscreants who think it's their God-given right to tell their brothers and sisters how to live, yet you don't live by the Bible yourself, let's call a spade a spade shall we...you're hypocrites. Pure and simple. I doubt that most of you have ever read the Bible, let alone used the brains God gave you to attempt to understand it. Therefore, don't use it as a tool to act out your authoritarian fantasies. Get your own houses in order before you look to tell someone else how to live.
These are indeed dark times we live in...and not because Adam and Steve or Madame and Eve want to marry. These are dark times because there are powerful forces at work doing everything they can to pit us against each other. Corporations and corrupt politicians are your enemy...not the gay couple that wants to share their lives together. The media uses you all like puppets...teaching you to parrot phrases and slogans like the good little Nazis you don't realize you've become.
United we stand people, divided we fall. We won't necessarily fall as individuals...but we will fall as a nation. If you insist on the division, declare the war. I will happily observe my right to bear arms. I am an American. I was born in the land of the free, where we are all created equal. If any one you want to negate that equality, I hope that you have the balls to back it up...because I think you'll find quite a fight on your hands.
Lastly, I've asked this many times before and will ask it again: Why is marriage of any type such an issue? As long as it's between two consenting adults (polygamous Mormons need not apply), what business is it of anyone else?
Yes. A Civil War is brewing. And the object of that war will be control. Just like any other war. It's the 21st century and we've obviously learned nothing. People sicken me.
North Carolina has just made damned sure that ain't no homersexshals gittin' hitched there! I can just hear all of the slack-jawed yokels crying "Hell, it just ain't right for no 2 mens or womens gettin' hitched together". But as those of us with at least semi functioning brains can attest, there's no problem with two consenting adults wanting to share their lives together.
Sure sure sure...Cletus and the good ol' boys will carry on that such marriages are an abomination in God's eyes. Funny, I'd always been taught that it was a sin to presume to know the mind of God. While incest (aka unclefuckingcousintouching) was relatively common in the Bible, most of us today agree it's pretty gross. I'm sure that Bubba & Co. would rather fuck their 10 year old daughters before allowing two consenting adults, who just happen to share similar genitals, to marry because they LOVE each other. (again...I was always taught that the premier point of Christ's teachings was "love")
I'm sure the good ol' boys and their wives are only concerned about the religious aspect. Right? Well now, let's think about this. Religion seems to be such a big point of reference for these whackadoos...yet churches are tax exempt. Can someone explain this to me? How is it that Christian extremists (essentially the American equivalent of the Taliban) are of the mind that they should get to decide how everyone else lives, yet their own churches do nothing to monetarily benefit the greater good of the state?
It all boils down to this: bigotry and it's ensuing feelings of superiority (aka control). Have we as a people become so lost in our lives that we can only feel good controlling someone else? Because folks, that's what it's about - control. It's nothing new. It's what it's always been about. It's why religion exists. It's why governments exist.
So, to all of you Biblical literists, please never let me catch any of you doing the following:
- Eating shellfish (yes Bubba Gump...I mean shrimp!)
- Working on the Sabbath (that means Friday to some, Saturday to some, and Sunday to some)
- Wearing two different types of cloth (poly cotton blends included...I'm sure there's a special place in Hell for polyester in general)
- Eating pork (you heard me Cletus...No More Bacon!)
- No TOUCHING the skin of a dead pig (that means NO MORE FOOTBALL!)
- No planting different crops near each other (Monsanto probably will sue you anyway)
Give me a while and I'll compile a more complete list if you wish...all based, quite literally, on The Bible.
Any of you good ol' boys, religious whackadoos, and assorted miscreants who think it's their God-given right to tell their brothers and sisters how to live, yet you don't live by the Bible yourself, let's call a spade a spade shall we...you're hypocrites. Pure and simple. I doubt that most of you have ever read the Bible, let alone used the brains God gave you to attempt to understand it. Therefore, don't use it as a tool to act out your authoritarian fantasies. Get your own houses in order before you look to tell someone else how to live.
These are indeed dark times we live in...and not because Adam and Steve or Madame and Eve want to marry. These are dark times because there are powerful forces at work doing everything they can to pit us against each other. Corporations and corrupt politicians are your enemy...not the gay couple that wants to share their lives together. The media uses you all like puppets...teaching you to parrot phrases and slogans like the good little Nazis you don't realize you've become.
United we stand people, divided we fall. We won't necessarily fall as individuals...but we will fall as a nation. If you insist on the division, declare the war. I will happily observe my right to bear arms. I am an American. I was born in the land of the free, where we are all created equal. If any one you want to negate that equality, I hope that you have the balls to back it up...because I think you'll find quite a fight on your hands.
Lastly, I've asked this many times before and will ask it again: Why is marriage of any type such an issue? As long as it's between two consenting adults (polygamous Mormons need not apply), what business is it of anyone else?
Yes. A Civil War is brewing. And the object of that war will be control. Just like any other war. It's the 21st century and we've obviously learned nothing. People sicken me.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Happily Ever After
"...and they lived happily ever after" Have you ever wondered just what that means?
I'm sure that we all heard fairy tales as children. Some of us may still be passing these on to our children. The basic tenet of the fairy tale is there is something not right with the world but once the hero/heroine solves this, everything is A-OK! Usually the prince and princess wed or ride off into the sunset or go kill some dragons (endangered species lists weren't very popular back then). And they all live happily ever after. Right?
Fast forward to the 21st century. OK, the dragons are gone, we have indoor plumbing, 300+ channels on TV, and social media sites. Other than that, things are still pretty much the same. So, in today's world, just what does "happily ever after" mean?
OK, let's take a look at this. Janey and Johnny meet online. They've posted some photos (probably a few years old, at least) to make themselves look as physically attractive as possible. Once they meet online, they carefully tell each other only the enhanced, perfect version of their life. Janey works in housekeeping at a local nursing home, so she tells Johnny that she works in the 'health field'. Johnny, having been unemployed for the past year, tells her he is a "freelance blogger and video game tester". It appears that they are both fans of this week's hot pop star and both live for reality TV shows like Ron Paul's Brag Race. Gosh, they are just sooooo perfect for each other! So, after 2-3 whole DAYS of Facebook posts, instant messages, and a couple of actual phone calls, they decide to meet.
Lucky for Janey, Johnny isn't a serial rapist and they meet at the local hipster bar. Much to their amazement, they both order Pabst! They notice (but never say anything about it) that each looks a bit less hot than their online persona...but what the heck, they have so much in common, that they must be made for each other, right?
They spend the evening talking about how lousy the music being programmed by the DJ is (God forbid it be an actual DJ spinning records...or worse...a LIVE band) and titter at each other's clever remarks. "Wow", each one thinks, "I've really landed a good one...this time!".
After a few hours of this banter, and checking out each other's latest tattoo/piercing, they decided that they're so in love, that they go to one of their apartments (the roommate luckily works the night shift) and have 3 whopping minutes of the most average sex of their entire lives!
The next day, they've both changed their relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship". All of their friends type comments like "Congrads" and "It's about time!" and "Your so lukcy". Janey and Johnny decided to take it slow though...it's way too early to think about marriage yet. But it's obvious to everyone that this is THE perfect relationship. The relationship that will stand the tests of time! Screw you Romeo & Juliet, THIS is how ya do it!
In most cases, this would last about 2-3 weeks, followed by changes in relationship status (Janey has changed her relationship status from In A Relationship to Single), much online discussion between friends ("She's a cunt. You can do better" and/or "He's an asshat. I can't believe you went out with him!") and of course the obvious condolences ("True love will find you one day!") and of course, their friends will suggest going out drinking (Yay! More PBR!). But for the sake of argument, let's say that Janey and Johnny DO stick together long enough to turn this NSA relationship into a LTR and they start planning their wedding.
Janey is still working at the nursing home. She is taking courses for her CNA license and has managed to get Johnny a job in maintenance. They're living together in their very own apartment in a funky, slightly run-down, urban neighborhood (there's a really cool bar just up the street! just watch out for the crackheads and hookers). Janey's dad pays for his little princess' dream wedding (complete with reception at the KOC hall...open bar and all the rigatoni you can eat!). And they lived happily ever after...right?
Janey gets her CNA license and is now making $11 an hour. Johnny is still working in maintenance and only making $8. This leads to some grumbling at home. But they're still in love, so it will all work out...right?
Reality sets in. They both work 40 hours a week but usually not the same 40. The mundane creeps in. Bills. Rent. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Johnny just wants to come home from a long day and have a beer and play video games. Janey really wishes he would help out more with the chores. Neither one likes to cook, so they eat a lot of pizza, Chinese takeout and processed foods. They both start looking a bit more plump than they used to. Their sex life, which was once oh so exciting and average, begins to suffer. From twice a day to twice a week to twice a month...but they're still so in love. They can make this work, right?
Johnny starts spending more time out with the guys. Janey whines endlessly to her friends (mostly online). The see increasingly less and less of each other. Their work schedules are skewed and when they do have a night off at the same time, Johnny is either playing video games or he's out with the guys. He NEEDS his time with his friends. Janey complains that she never gets to see her friends (who are mostly in the same boat by now). Johnny tells her if she wants to go out with her damned friends, to just go out! And she does. And Johnny berates her every time...questioning who she's with and how many guys were hitting on her. Things become bitter.
Janey gets pregnant! But...is it Johnny's or maybe that bartender she met when she was out with her friends. She's too sick this morning to give a damn. But wait...there's another pregnancy! Seems Johnny has been diddling a lady in dietary at work! Johnny, of course, denies this. He's too young to be a dad. He doesn't make enough money to take care of one kid, let alone two. Janey has informed him that if he thinks he's going to run out on his family, he'd better think again! She says she'll sue him for child support! (thinking in the back of her mind that she'll sue him or the bartender...whoever the daddy is) Johnny's ladyfriend in dietary is telling him the same thing!
Johnny and Janey wish life was different. They both wish they had better jobs and more money. They wish this kid wasn't coming. Johnny wishes both of these kids weren't coming. What happened to "happily ever after"????
This story is loosely based on events I've seen happen to a number of people I know. I'm lucky. My relationship is pretty good. We met the old fashioned way...through a mutual friend. We became good friends before we started dating. I'm not saying its the only way to a good relationship...but it is one good way.
"Love" is a powerful emotion. So is infatuation. Know the difference. And if you plan to go the distance, make sure you're ready for it. "Happily ever after" usually means that life is going to throw you curve balls. You won't be ready for some of them. It also means that life will take on a level of boring structure. Just like your parents. And your grandparents. And guess what...it ain't that bad. There's a comfort to structure. Any relationship is a partnership. It takes two to tango...all the way to happily ever after.
-MM
I'm sure that we all heard fairy tales as children. Some of us may still be passing these on to our children. The basic tenet of the fairy tale is there is something not right with the world but once the hero/heroine solves this, everything is A-OK! Usually the prince and princess wed or ride off into the sunset or go kill some dragons (endangered species lists weren't very popular back then). And they all live happily ever after. Right?
Fast forward to the 21st century. OK, the dragons are gone, we have indoor plumbing, 300+ channels on TV, and social media sites. Other than that, things are still pretty much the same. So, in today's world, just what does "happily ever after" mean?
OK, let's take a look at this. Janey and Johnny meet online. They've posted some photos (probably a few years old, at least) to make themselves look as physically attractive as possible. Once they meet online, they carefully tell each other only the enhanced, perfect version of their life. Janey works in housekeeping at a local nursing home, so she tells Johnny that she works in the 'health field'. Johnny, having been unemployed for the past year, tells her he is a "freelance blogger and video game tester". It appears that they are both fans of this week's hot pop star and both live for reality TV shows like Ron Paul's Brag Race. Gosh, they are just sooooo perfect for each other! So, after 2-3 whole DAYS of Facebook posts, instant messages, and a couple of actual phone calls, they decide to meet.
Lucky for Janey, Johnny isn't a serial rapist and they meet at the local hipster bar. Much to their amazement, they both order Pabst! They notice (but never say anything about it) that each looks a bit less hot than their online persona...but what the heck, they have so much in common, that they must be made for each other, right?
They spend the evening talking about how lousy the music being programmed by the DJ is (God forbid it be an actual DJ spinning records...or worse...a LIVE band) and titter at each other's clever remarks. "Wow", each one thinks, "I've really landed a good one...this time!".
After a few hours of this banter, and checking out each other's latest tattoo/piercing, they decided that they're so in love, that they go to one of their apartments (the roommate luckily works the night shift) and have 3 whopping minutes of the most average sex of their entire lives!
The next day, they've both changed their relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship". All of their friends type comments like "Congrads" and "It's about time!" and "Your so lukcy". Janey and Johnny decided to take it slow though...it's way too early to think about marriage yet. But it's obvious to everyone that this is THE perfect relationship. The relationship that will stand the tests of time! Screw you Romeo & Juliet, THIS is how ya do it!
In most cases, this would last about 2-3 weeks, followed by changes in relationship status (Janey has changed her relationship status from In A Relationship to Single), much online discussion between friends ("She's a cunt. You can do better" and/or "He's an asshat. I can't believe you went out with him!") and of course the obvious condolences ("True love will find you one day!") and of course, their friends will suggest going out drinking (Yay! More PBR!). But for the sake of argument, let's say that Janey and Johnny DO stick together long enough to turn this NSA relationship into a LTR and they start planning their wedding.
Janey is still working at the nursing home. She is taking courses for her CNA license and has managed to get Johnny a job in maintenance. They're living together in their very own apartment in a funky, slightly run-down, urban neighborhood (there's a really cool bar just up the street! just watch out for the crackheads and hookers). Janey's dad pays for his little princess' dream wedding (complete with reception at the KOC hall...open bar and all the rigatoni you can eat!). And they lived happily ever after...right?
Janey gets her CNA license and is now making $11 an hour. Johnny is still working in maintenance and only making $8. This leads to some grumbling at home. But they're still in love, so it will all work out...right?
Reality sets in. They both work 40 hours a week but usually not the same 40. The mundane creeps in. Bills. Rent. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Johnny just wants to come home from a long day and have a beer and play video games. Janey really wishes he would help out more with the chores. Neither one likes to cook, so they eat a lot of pizza, Chinese takeout and processed foods. They both start looking a bit more plump than they used to. Their sex life, which was once oh so exciting and average, begins to suffer. From twice a day to twice a week to twice a month...but they're still so in love. They can make this work, right?
Johnny starts spending more time out with the guys. Janey whines endlessly to her friends (mostly online). The see increasingly less and less of each other. Their work schedules are skewed and when they do have a night off at the same time, Johnny is either playing video games or he's out with the guys. He NEEDS his time with his friends. Janey complains that she never gets to see her friends (who are mostly in the same boat by now). Johnny tells her if she wants to go out with her damned friends, to just go out! And she does. And Johnny berates her every time...questioning who she's with and how many guys were hitting on her. Things become bitter.
Janey gets pregnant! But...is it Johnny's or maybe that bartender she met when she was out with her friends. She's too sick this morning to give a damn. But wait...there's another pregnancy! Seems Johnny has been diddling a lady in dietary at work! Johnny, of course, denies this. He's too young to be a dad. He doesn't make enough money to take care of one kid, let alone two. Janey has informed him that if he thinks he's going to run out on his family, he'd better think again! She says she'll sue him for child support! (thinking in the back of her mind that she'll sue him or the bartender...whoever the daddy is) Johnny's ladyfriend in dietary is telling him the same thing!
Johnny and Janey wish life was different. They both wish they had better jobs and more money. They wish this kid wasn't coming. Johnny wishes both of these kids weren't coming. What happened to "happily ever after"????
This story is loosely based on events I've seen happen to a number of people I know. I'm lucky. My relationship is pretty good. We met the old fashioned way...through a mutual friend. We became good friends before we started dating. I'm not saying its the only way to a good relationship...but it is one good way.
"Love" is a powerful emotion. So is infatuation. Know the difference. And if you plan to go the distance, make sure you're ready for it. "Happily ever after" usually means that life is going to throw you curve balls. You won't be ready for some of them. It also means that life will take on a level of boring structure. Just like your parents. And your grandparents. And guess what...it ain't that bad. There's a comfort to structure. Any relationship is a partnership. It takes two to tango...all the way to happily ever after.
-MM
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