This is the 4th year in a row that I've posted this blog. I hope y'all enjoy it! A lot has changed in my life since the 1st time I posted it but all in all, life is good! Cheers!
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!!!! 4th YEAR!!!!!!
Thanksgivus
Thanksgivus: that's what she called it. The 'she' in question would be a very short, loud, middle aged black woman with retardation who I supervised for years. Her name is Omega...fitting because she truly is THE END!
Omega didn't exactly have a speech problem but I think her hearing wasn't 100% on the mark, as certain words would get slurred together such as "Thanksgivus". Another fave was her version of Social Security, which often sounded more like "sociable secretary" (of which I've known a few).
Thanksgivus (which is what I now prefer to call the US holiday Thanksgiving) is the last Thursday of November (this is for my overseas friends who may not be fully knowledgeable of the subject). It is the holiday where we Americans give Thanks to God for giving us BIG tasty birds, punkin pie & cranberry sauce...all courtesy of a tribe that we soon took great pains to wipe out. In short, when those Pilgrims (essentially English religious nuts) 1st landed at Plymouth Rock, they didn't have a CLUE what they were doing or what they were in for!
After that 1st winter (what do you mean "No Central Heating"???), most of the Pilgrims had died off. A few hearty ones remained (probably by eating the others...but that story seems to have vanished in the annals of history) and it was looking bleak for them, as they didn't know SQUAT about farming North American soil. Luckily, the Indians (bite me, I will NOT be PC) took pity on them, showed them what to do and the Pilgrims survived. They did sooo well, in fact, they had a big feast and invited the Indians. When the Indians showed up, they realized that white folks are either really bad at planning feasts or are just stingy, so they sent some braves to go kill a half dozen or so deer....gotta make sure ya don't leave the table unless yer ready to burst....STILL an American Thanksgivus tradition. NOWHERE on the menu was green bean casserole....PLEASE make note of that! (the Americans reading this will get the humor)
Finally, sometime in the 19th century, after decades of confusion as to what this "New England" holiday was and when it was supposed to be observed, some mad woman wrote everyone in the colonies suggesting the last Thursday in November...just in time to mark the start of Xmas shopping season!
Now, contrary to what some of my English colleagues have been lead to believe, Thanksgivus is NOT the American Xmas. Trust me, NO ONE on this planet overdoes Xmas like the Americans! Here it is, the Sunday BEFORE Thanksgivus and I'm looking out my front door at my neighbor's Xmas lights! 1 month 5 days before we celebrate the Man's b-day (even though we have the date wrong)...1 month 5 days of looking at those damned lights! Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays as much if not more than most people...but I like things to be done for the right reasons...not just to be the 1st, best or brashest.
For the holidays, I wish you all peace, happiness and a full belly. May your homes be filled with laughter (and not just the canned version coming from your TV). May your pockets never be empty, maybe your fridge always be full (with at least 1 6pack of decent beer...in case I should stop by lol) and may your troubles be few & far between.
In fact, I don't just wish you these things for the holidays...I wish them for you all EVERYDAY.
I'm having a few friends over (as usual) this year for Thanksgivus. It might not be the fanciest dinner but I hope to guarantee all a good meal, a full belly and someplace to sit and digest and enjoy some good company after (and before...as long as they stay OUTTA MY WAY in the kitchen...Chris...take note).
We will revel in the death of a turkey. We shall take delight in the taters, which will be mashed. The rolls will hopefully not be slightly burned on the bottoms...but if they are, that's what butter, gravy & butter knives are for! The veggies will be plentiful and not overcooked. The pie will be chocolate cream...NOT PUNKIN! (my tradition...not yours, OK? ) And yes Virginia...there will most likely be cranberries of some sort...JUST NO DAMNED GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE...PLEASE!
NOTE: I'm actually going to visit my parents this year for the holiday
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Last Few Days...
In the last few days, life has shown me some things about myself. I can honestly say that I like who Ive become. Being in my 40s is nowhere near as dreary as I thought it would be! It's definitely never boring!
Friday, I debated all day whether or not to go see SUN Records legend, Sonny Burgess and his band The Pacers. Normally you'd think that I'd jump at the chance to see one of the originators of the music I love...but I've seen Sonny a bunch of times over the past 14 years and I can honestly say, he was best the 1st time. I was also reticent to spend $15 to see him...but as my friends Wes & Mike's new band was also on the bill, and I'd come into some extra cash, I decided what the hell.
My friends' band ARR, were really good. Just good old fashioned rockin' hillbilly boogie kinda stuff. No showboating, just good music. Then Sonny and Co. came on and I knew life was about to get weird.
When Sonny put The Pacers back together in 2001 or so, I shared billing with them on a few festivals down south. I was not impressed. Down there, they did their 'casino' show...lots of "oldies" and only a few ventures into Sonny's own great repetoire. Alas, this gig was much the same...although thankfully they left out the Charlie Daniels covers. But to see a musician of Sonny's reknown opening with "Wooly Bully"...and then sleazing into one predicatable cover after another was just disappointing. Granted, Sonny & Co. are all in their 70s...so I wasn't expecting psychobilly or anything...but did we really need to hear his bass player warble his way through "Okie From Muskogee" (a personal fave song of mine BTW)? The guys looked like they'd rather be watching Matlock than putting on a R&R show (which they did in name only). Much to my chagrin, they opted to NOT play "Red Headed Woman" (if they did, I musta missed it!) or "Sadie's Back In Town". All in all, it was a good night though. I got to see a bunch of good friends, was entertained by at least the 1st band, and got to have a few frothy cold ones. I was even slightly embarrassed by my friend Lisa's repeatedly bragging up my voice to her friend as "the sexiest she's ever heard". I highly recommend she broaden her listening pleasures. LOL I most often think I sound like a hog caller who's gargled broken glass...but I digress...
Saturday...always a good day to sleep in. Which is exactly what I did. Made a few phone calls when I got up and started making plans to purchase a new gee-tar (but more about that later). The SO was heading outta town to visit the fam, so I had a night to myself. I'd already made plans to go see my friend Andrew's 2nd show after his return to the world of drag performing. (drag as in men dressed as women, not hot rods at high speeds) I view drag as performance art. Nothing more. Most of it is just AWFUL but every now and then, ya see a good show. Andrew does such a show. The lil redneck really should become a professional dancer! I don't know anyone, male-female-or otherwise undecided, who can move like he does...and in 4-5" platform heels to boot! The other performers on the bill, knowing full well there was no way to really compare to Andrew, opted for "grotesque" rather than talent. But they did it with humor and a certain amount of flair (which one would expect at a drag show LOL). With Thanksgiving upon us, food was the theme of the show. And food was everywhere. From the one queen throwing sugar every where to another dry humping a box of Stove Stop stuffing, to another pouring milk all over himself...it was a mess! LOL Cake and pie was added to the mix and I'm sure you can guess the outcome. Stage sludge EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! It was like Rocky Horror meets Animal House! The queens did a finale where they had a food fight onstage and wound up slipping all over themselves and landing in a heap (unplanned). While odd, it was an entertaining show. And I'm glad that I'm secure enough in who I am to be able to go out and enjoy that kind of whackiness! Mind you, its not for everyone.
Sunday...up around 10:30 and looking out at a beautiful day. Low 60s and sunny. Who says we never have good weather in Pittsburgh?! The deal was made to go pick up my new guitar (Gibson-made Epiphone dobro...now dubbed the Dobrophone. Had to drive to Washington, PA to make the transaction. I was A-OK with that as I got the guy to drop $75 off of his asking price! WOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!! The drive to Washington was smooth sailing...nary a cop in sight! The sun was out, I had the windows down and I really enjoyed the ride. I don't know why, but I always catch myself doing 75+ mph on this particular stretch of I-79! Sunday was no exception. I made it there and back in under an hour. No sooner was I home with The Dobrophone than I planted myself out on the porch and played old country blues for an hour or so. As the sun was working it's way down, I moved my impromptu performance indoors and kept on playing until the phone rang.
My jubilant mood was depressed a bit by the phone call. A dear friend, and some would say "ex" of mine, was calling from the county jail. Long story short, she has some issues. Those issues are why we're just friends now. If you've ever received a collect call from the Allegheny county jail, you know that you get 30 seconds of talk time, followed by a prompt to set up an account so the inmate can call you. The prompt, however, didn't work and I was never able to set up the account. My friend had to keep getting back in line to call over and over again. She wanted me to call her mum and see if she could post bail. (NO, I will not go into detail about the alleged crime here...that's far too private) I tried repeatedly to ring her mum, but never got an answer. My friend kept calling and I could tell she was upset and worried (as one should be in jail). Finally, around 1:00am or so, my friend calls to see that she's out of jail and explained the situation to me. It was obvious that she was crying as she told me that she loves me and thanked me for all the help. I feel good knowing that I'm someone a friend can turn to when they need help.
Monday morning. 5 hours sleep is just not enough...so I beat the snooze button mercilessly for an hour. So much for my morning walk. Work was uneventful, thankfully, as after last night's mayhem, I wasn't in the mood to be there. After a blissfully short day, I'm driving home and I see this church sign which reads: "Even in the bleakest time, Christians have the brightest hope". Sounds very positive, right? Well I took it differently. I still, at age 43, don't understand the whole "our church/faith" is better than yours mentality. Just seems decidedly un-Christian.
OK...almost 2 miles from home, I pass a cemetery. I pass this daily. Hell, half of my family is buried there. But what got me this time is this: when the hell did BALLOONS become standard grave decorations????? I noticed a number of graves visible from the road adorned with festive, brightly colored mylar balloons! THAT'S JUST TACKY!!!!!!!! Do the people that do this think that their dearly departed is going to be pleased with this? Maturity seems to have become a thing of the past. But I've been saying that for years....
Made it home (no balloons there! LOL) and played The Dobrophone for a good 2 hours. Ahhhhhhh....life is good.
What? You expected there to a be a point to all of this? LOL
Friday, I debated all day whether or not to go see SUN Records legend, Sonny Burgess and his band The Pacers. Normally you'd think that I'd jump at the chance to see one of the originators of the music I love...but I've seen Sonny a bunch of times over the past 14 years and I can honestly say, he was best the 1st time. I was also reticent to spend $15 to see him...but as my friends Wes & Mike's new band was also on the bill, and I'd come into some extra cash, I decided what the hell.
My friends' band ARR, were really good. Just good old fashioned rockin' hillbilly boogie kinda stuff. No showboating, just good music. Then Sonny and Co. came on and I knew life was about to get weird.
When Sonny put The Pacers back together in 2001 or so, I shared billing with them on a few festivals down south. I was not impressed. Down there, they did their 'casino' show...lots of "oldies" and only a few ventures into Sonny's own great repetoire. Alas, this gig was much the same...although thankfully they left out the Charlie Daniels covers. But to see a musician of Sonny's reknown opening with "Wooly Bully"...and then sleazing into one predicatable cover after another was just disappointing. Granted, Sonny & Co. are all in their 70s...so I wasn't expecting psychobilly or anything...but did we really need to hear his bass player warble his way through "Okie From Muskogee" (a personal fave song of mine BTW)? The guys looked like they'd rather be watching Matlock than putting on a R&R show (which they did in name only). Much to my chagrin, they opted to NOT play "Red Headed Woman" (if they did, I musta missed it!) or "Sadie's Back In Town". All in all, it was a good night though. I got to see a bunch of good friends, was entertained by at least the 1st band, and got to have a few frothy cold ones. I was even slightly embarrassed by my friend Lisa's repeatedly bragging up my voice to her friend as "the sexiest she's ever heard". I highly recommend she broaden her listening pleasures. LOL I most often think I sound like a hog caller who's gargled broken glass...but I digress...
Saturday...always a good day to sleep in. Which is exactly what I did. Made a few phone calls when I got up and started making plans to purchase a new gee-tar (but more about that later). The SO was heading outta town to visit the fam, so I had a night to myself. I'd already made plans to go see my friend Andrew's 2nd show after his return to the world of drag performing. (drag as in men dressed as women, not hot rods at high speeds) I view drag as performance art. Nothing more. Most of it is just AWFUL but every now and then, ya see a good show. Andrew does such a show. The lil redneck really should become a professional dancer! I don't know anyone, male-female-or otherwise undecided, who can move like he does...and in 4-5" platform heels to boot! The other performers on the bill, knowing full well there was no way to really compare to Andrew, opted for "grotesque" rather than talent. But they did it with humor and a certain amount of flair (which one would expect at a drag show LOL). With Thanksgiving upon us, food was the theme of the show. And food was everywhere. From the one queen throwing sugar every where to another dry humping a box of Stove Stop stuffing, to another pouring milk all over himself...it was a mess! LOL Cake and pie was added to the mix and I'm sure you can guess the outcome. Stage sludge EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! It was like Rocky Horror meets Animal House! The queens did a finale where they had a food fight onstage and wound up slipping all over themselves and landing in a heap (unplanned). While odd, it was an entertaining show. And I'm glad that I'm secure enough in who I am to be able to go out and enjoy that kind of whackiness! Mind you, its not for everyone.
Sunday...up around 10:30 and looking out at a beautiful day. Low 60s and sunny. Who says we never have good weather in Pittsburgh?! The deal was made to go pick up my new guitar (Gibson-made Epiphone dobro...now dubbed the Dobrophone. Had to drive to Washington, PA to make the transaction. I was A-OK with that as I got the guy to drop $75 off of his asking price! WOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!! The drive to Washington was smooth sailing...nary a cop in sight! The sun was out, I had the windows down and I really enjoyed the ride. I don't know why, but I always catch myself doing 75+ mph on this particular stretch of I-79! Sunday was no exception. I made it there and back in under an hour. No sooner was I home with The Dobrophone than I planted myself out on the porch and played old country blues for an hour or so. As the sun was working it's way down, I moved my impromptu performance indoors and kept on playing until the phone rang.
My jubilant mood was depressed a bit by the phone call. A dear friend, and some would say "ex" of mine, was calling from the county jail. Long story short, she has some issues. Those issues are why we're just friends now. If you've ever received a collect call from the Allegheny county jail, you know that you get 30 seconds of talk time, followed by a prompt to set up an account so the inmate can call you. The prompt, however, didn't work and I was never able to set up the account. My friend had to keep getting back in line to call over and over again. She wanted me to call her mum and see if she could post bail. (NO, I will not go into detail about the alleged crime here...that's far too private) I tried repeatedly to ring her mum, but never got an answer. My friend kept calling and I could tell she was upset and worried (as one should be in jail). Finally, around 1:00am or so, my friend calls to see that she's out of jail and explained the situation to me. It was obvious that she was crying as she told me that she loves me and thanked me for all the help. I feel good knowing that I'm someone a friend can turn to when they need help.
Monday morning. 5 hours sleep is just not enough...so I beat the snooze button mercilessly for an hour. So much for my morning walk. Work was uneventful, thankfully, as after last night's mayhem, I wasn't in the mood to be there. After a blissfully short day, I'm driving home and I see this church sign which reads: "Even in the bleakest time, Christians have the brightest hope". Sounds very positive, right? Well I took it differently. I still, at age 43, don't understand the whole "our church/faith" is better than yours mentality. Just seems decidedly un-Christian.
OK...almost 2 miles from home, I pass a cemetery. I pass this daily. Hell, half of my family is buried there. But what got me this time is this: when the hell did BALLOONS become standard grave decorations????? I noticed a number of graves visible from the road adorned with festive, brightly colored mylar balloons! THAT'S JUST TACKY!!!!!!!! Do the people that do this think that their dearly departed is going to be pleased with this? Maturity seems to have become a thing of the past. But I've been saying that for years....
Made it home (no balloons there! LOL) and played The Dobrophone for a good 2 hours. Ahhhhhhh....life is good.
What? You expected there to a be a point to all of this? LOL
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Welcome to the Dark Side
Welcome to my dark side. We all have one. You can lie to yourself and everyone you know and say that you don't but you do. I know I do.
My dark side is simple enough though. Those closest to me already know all about it. It may come as a surprise to everyone else though, that I have lived with/suffered with chronic depression pretty much my entire life. As it turns out, its a genetic trait passed down on my mother's side of the family. My mother quietly battled depression. Her twin sister did the same. Their mother eventually committed suicide due to hers. My first suicidal impulses started at age four. They've continued for 39 years. Sometimes they're frequent, sometimes not so frequent. The most important thing I learned about them is that they are impulses, nothing more. They're like a nagging itch in my brain. If I ignore it, it gets worse. I had to find my own way to "scratch that itch" though. I learned to talk myself through it. I remind myself that its an impulse...most likely caused by some chemical misfire in my brain. After a while it goes away again.
Strangely enough, that's not the worst part of my depression. The worst is what I call "the dark moods". When they come on, they can last anywhere from minutes to months. I've learned to live through them, again reminding myself that its probably a chemical misfire.
Allow me to clarify something: being depressed and feeling a little down is one thing. It happens to everybody. Having chronic depression is, and I fully admit this, a disease. Unfortunately, a disease with mostly useless treatments and no cure. There are days when it quite literally takes every bit of strength I have just to get out of bed. Factor in my chronic obstructive sleep apnea, and you get some idea of what waking up is like for me! It makes sleeping hell. Once I'm up and moving, I'm usually OK. I force myself to think positively and to use some cognitive therapy tools I've learned over the years. I force myself to face reality in ways that are a little scary. I have to be brutally honest with myself about my feelings about everyone and everything. Fun way to start the day eh? Luckily, this isn't an everyday occurrence. I usually only have to go through this during the "dark moods".
People, like myself, with depression can and do function. Maybe not to our fullest capacities but we do. We're able to laugh and joke as well. Our laughs might not be as hearty but they're there...and for me, those moments keep my life from being a living hell. (that, dear friends, is why I make jokes about everything...regardless of how inappropriate it may seem) We're able to carry on relationships too...but those often suffer from the side effects of depression. Denial plays a major part in this. The most important thing for a person with depression to do is to find someone they can communicate with. We (the depressed) often lie to ourselves, and worse, those in our lives, about our condition. We say things like "No, I'm okay" or "I'm just a little blue today" when often we're thinking "I just want it all to end".
Depression is a thief. It robs it's victims of the joys that most people take for granted. It sometimes robs us of the few joys we actually do have. My love of music is often the victim of my depression. There are periods when I've gone months without even touching a guitar because the joy has been (at least temporarily) taken away. Those moments hurt. Deeply. Depression also robs it's victims of intimacy. My heart breaks for my girlfriend (and the significant others of anyone with depression). There are times when I'm just too deep in depression to be able to accept her attempts to comfort me. It's like being in a hole with someone reaching down to you and you're just not able to reach their hand.
You may be asking "Why aren't you in therapy?" or "Why aren't you taking antidepressants?". The answers are simple. I spent enough time in therapy to learn the skills I need to cope. It doesn't cure the disease but if one is able to maintain the use of these skills, one can survive. Antidepressants scare the hell out of me. The side effects are often as bad if not worse than the disease. The last time I was on them, I developed tremors in my right arm, which my doctor informed me was my body getting ready to go into seizures. He had me stop taking them immediately. Sadly, those six weeks that I was on it was the best I have ever slept.
So why am I writing all this? Because I am and will continue to live my life, regardless of this disease. I care deeply about those in my life and I feel the need for them to understand. I feel for those like me who live with this. If just one person reads this who has never had someone to turn to and has wondered what's wrong with them reads this and comes away realizing that they're not alone, then I write this for them as well.
I'm also writing this because I woke up Monday in one of my darkest moods. No warning. The beast was just there. It was all I could do to beat the beast back down...but I did. Within a few hours I felt OK again. Not great but OK. And I can live with that. I now look forward to the day when I feel great again! I know its coming. If I've learned nothing else from a lifetime with depression; I've learned that sometimes we all have to wait. And the reward is good. REAL good!
Take care my friends! I'm not going anywhere. I'm not hurting myself. I have no plans to. Life, I realize, is far too special to permanently solve a temporary problem.
My dark side is simple enough though. Those closest to me already know all about it. It may come as a surprise to everyone else though, that I have lived with/suffered with chronic depression pretty much my entire life. As it turns out, its a genetic trait passed down on my mother's side of the family. My mother quietly battled depression. Her twin sister did the same. Their mother eventually committed suicide due to hers. My first suicidal impulses started at age four. They've continued for 39 years. Sometimes they're frequent, sometimes not so frequent. The most important thing I learned about them is that they are impulses, nothing more. They're like a nagging itch in my brain. If I ignore it, it gets worse. I had to find my own way to "scratch that itch" though. I learned to talk myself through it. I remind myself that its an impulse...most likely caused by some chemical misfire in my brain. After a while it goes away again.
Strangely enough, that's not the worst part of my depression. The worst is what I call "the dark moods". When they come on, they can last anywhere from minutes to months. I've learned to live through them, again reminding myself that its probably a chemical misfire.
Allow me to clarify something: being depressed and feeling a little down is one thing. It happens to everybody. Having chronic depression is, and I fully admit this, a disease. Unfortunately, a disease with mostly useless treatments and no cure. There are days when it quite literally takes every bit of strength I have just to get out of bed. Factor in my chronic obstructive sleep apnea, and you get some idea of what waking up is like for me! It makes sleeping hell. Once I'm up and moving, I'm usually OK. I force myself to think positively and to use some cognitive therapy tools I've learned over the years. I force myself to face reality in ways that are a little scary. I have to be brutally honest with myself about my feelings about everyone and everything. Fun way to start the day eh? Luckily, this isn't an everyday occurrence. I usually only have to go through this during the "dark moods".
People, like myself, with depression can and do function. Maybe not to our fullest capacities but we do. We're able to laugh and joke as well. Our laughs might not be as hearty but they're there...and for me, those moments keep my life from being a living hell. (that, dear friends, is why I make jokes about everything...regardless of how inappropriate it may seem) We're able to carry on relationships too...but those often suffer from the side effects of depression. Denial plays a major part in this. The most important thing for a person with depression to do is to find someone they can communicate with. We (the depressed) often lie to ourselves, and worse, those in our lives, about our condition. We say things like "No, I'm okay" or "I'm just a little blue today" when often we're thinking "I just want it all to end".
Depression is a thief. It robs it's victims of the joys that most people take for granted. It sometimes robs us of the few joys we actually do have. My love of music is often the victim of my depression. There are periods when I've gone months without even touching a guitar because the joy has been (at least temporarily) taken away. Those moments hurt. Deeply. Depression also robs it's victims of intimacy. My heart breaks for my girlfriend (and the significant others of anyone with depression). There are times when I'm just too deep in depression to be able to accept her attempts to comfort me. It's like being in a hole with someone reaching down to you and you're just not able to reach their hand.
You may be asking "Why aren't you in therapy?" or "Why aren't you taking antidepressants?". The answers are simple. I spent enough time in therapy to learn the skills I need to cope. It doesn't cure the disease but if one is able to maintain the use of these skills, one can survive. Antidepressants scare the hell out of me. The side effects are often as bad if not worse than the disease. The last time I was on them, I developed tremors in my right arm, which my doctor informed me was my body getting ready to go into seizures. He had me stop taking them immediately. Sadly, those six weeks that I was on it was the best I have ever slept.
So why am I writing all this? Because I am and will continue to live my life, regardless of this disease. I care deeply about those in my life and I feel the need for them to understand. I feel for those like me who live with this. If just one person reads this who has never had someone to turn to and has wondered what's wrong with them reads this and comes away realizing that they're not alone, then I write this for them as well.
I'm also writing this because I woke up Monday in one of my darkest moods. No warning. The beast was just there. It was all I could do to beat the beast back down...but I did. Within a few hours I felt OK again. Not great but OK. And I can live with that. I now look forward to the day when I feel great again! I know its coming. If I've learned nothing else from a lifetime with depression; I've learned that sometimes we all have to wait. And the reward is good. REAL good!
Take care my friends! I'm not going anywhere. I'm not hurting myself. I have no plans to. Life, I realize, is far too special to permanently solve a temporary problem.
Monday, November 2, 2009
My Charlie Brown Life
I can sympathize with Charlie Brown. He tries to be a good kid and do the right thing but life often, like Lucy Van Pelt, pulls the football away at the last second. So, Charlie Brown was just a good kid with odd luck and an unabiding love for his dog.
Went to court today in hopes of finally ending my nearly 2 year legal ordeal. For those of you unfamiliar, look back through these blogs and you'll be caught up. You know you've been in court too many times when you're on a 1st name basis with the clerks and bailiffs! LOL
After 2 and a half hours of sitting doing nothing, the court proceedings finally get under way. 2 cases ahead of me; a drug addict pleading guilty to forging scripts to get probabtion and a simple assault case being postponed...and then me. But then I see my lawyer talking with the prosecution...I've learned this never goes well for me.
My lawyer takes me out into the hallway to inform me that the case is being postponed. Again. Until February 2010! While I understand that this works in my favor, it nonetheless is a pain in the butt. I just want this mess OVER so I can get on with my life.
It seems that the madwoman who is making the accusations against me has become such a pest to the DA's office that the ADA who was handling the case now refuses to have anything more to do with it. Sooooooo...new ADA has been assigned and she's unfamiliar with the case.
Common sense would dictate that this case is moot. Its already been thrown out twice. It's on it's 3rd ADA. There's no evidence (basically because I didn't do anything wrong). I know this. My lawyer knows this. The judge knows this. But as its election time, the legal machine has to put on a good show. But at what cost?
This has taken one helluva toll on me but let's forget me for a minute. The tax payers are footing the bill for all of this. As I lost my 20 year career due to this mess, I have a public defender...paid for by the tax payers. I have been in court about 15 days over the past 2 years because of this. That's a lot of tax payer funded man hours. Factor in the time my attorney has spent collecting data and evidence and preparing for this mess and you have even more tax payer money being pissed away. All because a woman who is angry at the world because she chose to have her son's brain cut in half rather than learn to handle her son's seizures. He is now effectively seizure free but seriously developmentally delayed and very violent. That's why he was my client in the 1st place! Her feelings of guilt and angst as well as her own emotional instability have manifested into a rampage against yours truly. And the tax payers get to pay the bill.
Me? I've lost my career (which I absolutely loved). I'm broke and constantly looking for a decent paying job. At 43 years old, I'm just not used to living like this. Factor in my health problems (which have no doubt been exacerbated by all of this) and you can see the toll it's taken on me. Wah wah wah...I know.
This latest turn of events has also forced me to postpone an exam for a great career opportunity. Hopefully this won't ruin the chance for me. While not a litigious man, I'm starting to give serious thoughts to filing a lawsuit against this crazy person. Should it come to that, I'll seek nothing short of enough monetary damages to allow me to retire in comfort.
But like I said, I have odd luck. I received a call this evening for a new job. Nothing exciting or particularly well paying but interesting enough and with enough money/hours to keep me from starving or losing my mind. Who knew gourmet popcorn was such a big business? LOL
OK...just thought I'd keep y'all up to date on my neverending whackiness. I REALLY want/need a vacation...and soon! I'll be looking into whether or not I'm allowed to travel at least in the US, and if I am, some of you just may be seeing me sooner than you think!
Alrighty...I'm outtahere!!!!!!!!!!
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