Just Another Rant

 Well, here's something I haven't bitched about in a while!

Our dad was a doctor. A cardiologist to be precise. For years, he was the only game in town within a 50-mile radius, so if you had ticker problems, he was your guy. 

When I was about 15, I'd heard about England's National Health Service (NHS). Being a nerd with a need to know, I read up on as much as I could find in the local library about it. Healthcare for EVERYONE. Sounded like a good idea to me. So, I asked dear old dad about it.  He then fed me what I soon learned was insurance company propaganda. 

You have to wait months and months to see a doctor!

The care is subpar!

America has the BEST healthcare ever, better than the rest of the world combined!

American healthcare costs are fair!

Admittedly, I thought this all sounded like bullshit when I heard it, so I looked for more and more information. Keep in mind, this was the early 1980s, the internet was not a thing yet, and looking for this information meant reading books, magazines, and multiple newspapers. The more I read, the more I was calling bullshit on the claims about our already costly healthcare. 

Fast-forward 40-some years. I've had more than my share of health problems. I've been nearly bankrupted twice due to them. My heart attack (2007) completely wiped out my savings and retirement. My strokes in 2021 did the same. And those were WITH insurance. I can only imagine the agony of not having health insurance (which as we all know, ain't cheap!).

My insurance has been a Godsend in the past year or so, dealing with blood cancer. But the stupidity of American healthcare is, yet again, raising its ugly head.

You have to wait months and months to see a doctor!

That has been one of the US Healthcare Industry's big scaring points. Since 2020, my doc has been trying to get me to schedule a colonoscopy. The insurance industry really likes having this pushed because they make money from it. But, in 2020, the earliest I could schedule one was almost a year off! I figured it might be due to the pandemic. Yeah, I try to think positively. I'm also smart enough to know that if there was a serious DO IT NOW need, something would probably show up in my frequent blood tests (one of the joys of being a diabetic with a host of other health issues - I get bloodwork every few months). These frequent tests caught what turned out to be blood cancer. So off I was sent to a hematologist/oncologist. Due to the nature of the illness, I was scheduled within a couple of weeks. Not bad, right?

Doc also pushed again for the colonoscopy. Again, the earliest (I'm told) that it can be scheduled is sometime NEXT YEAR!!!!!! WTF?!

But wait...there's more!

My doc of many years is retiring. Good for him, he's earned it! But damn I'll miss him. So, I've started seeing a new, YOUNG, doc at the practice. He's a good kid but woefully inexperienced. I have no qualms with helping him acquire experience. With my "complex medical history" (his words), he's bound to get a lot of experience!

It seems I have some skin tumors. So far, no biopsy. Are they benign? Malignant? Simply annoying? A sign of bad shit brewing? I may never know. I've made multiple attempts over the past couple of weeks to see a specialist about it. I'm pretty sure you've already guessed.   

  NO AVAILABLE APPOINTMENTS UNTIL SOMETIME NEXT YEAR!

I can tell you, from looking up doctors, that there are at least 100 so-called specialists for this particular issue in the Pittsburgh area. The guy my new doc recommended; I can't get an appointment until March 2025. I reached out to the new boychild doctor, via email, explaining the problem. I got a reply from his RN...a nurse! (at least someone bothered to reply) She suggested I see a plastic surgeon. WTF?! I don't know of any surgeon who will take on a patient and start hacking away without a valid reason. This isn't a cosmetic issue. It's somewhat painful, and bleeds occasionally, but not something I'd worry about if weren't for my own and my family cancer history. 

Sorry America. Our healthcare is becoming subpar. And way too expensive. With unnecessarily long waits to see a doctor. It's time for universal healthcare. Sure, keep private insurance and private hospitals for those who enjoy spending money for it. But healthcare should be a right. There is NO REASON a person should have to wait 6+ months to see a doctor for any reason. 

R.I.P. Mojo

 It takes a lot to make me puke. In my youth, the only things that would do it were cooked spinach or mixing weed & cheap booze. Mojo Nixon managed to make me puke. 

Was it really almost 30 years ago? Damn. I'm getting long in the tooth. The Rowdy Bovines had done a show with Mojo Nixon over at Graffiti. Always a fun joint, it was a mid-sized showcase venue (for those of yinz too young or too wasted to recall). I loved everything about the place except for the load-in and the cheap beer they always gave the Bovines. Usually Iron City. On rare occasions, Bud Ice (remember ice beers?). I rarely left the gigs feeling less than fine AND dandy. This gig was no exception. Mojo invited us (and a few others) back to his hotel to party. Comfortably in my 20s, I wasn't one to say NO. 

He was staying downtown at the Doubletree, which was a much nicer hotel than most musicians stayed at. The place was only a few years old at the time and was pretty fancy, especially by early 90s Yinzer standards. His room, a double, was nice but it wasn't the Ritz Carlton by any means. When Red Elvis and I got there, a small crowd was already in the room. Maybe 20 or so people. This made for a bit of a crowded atmosphere. Someone had kindly filled the bathtub with ice and a few cases of beer. The party was on. I had my eyes on a young lady, but alas, it wasn't to be. Mojo cornered me. A mutual friend had told him that I grew up in Steubenville, and Mojo, at the time, had a great interest in the town and one of its better-known sons. To say he had a lot of questions was putting it mildly. Without even asking, he poured me one hellacious gin and tonic and began his interrogation (which at times is what it felt like). I've never been a gin man, but I've never believed in looking a gift horse in the mouth and telling him he has cavities either. This led to more questions, more gin, and eventually many lines of cocaine. We pretty much ignored everyone, talking about 'Little Chicago'. Some questions remained unanswered, for reasons I hope he understood. 

Red Elvis and I left around 7 or 8 am. I was more wasted than any 3 people had a right to be. We got lost trying to find the elevator. This was especially bad as the beers; gin & Colombian snowflakes weren't mixing well. I could feel my stomach forming an internal mosh pit. I remember thinking how bland the wallpaper was, and how ugly the patterned maroon carpet was. And then it hit.

If you're one of the lucky ones to have never witnessed me getting sick, I do it with great force. Sort of a full body heave, complete with deafening roars, and the ensuing projectile emanations not unlike young Ms. Blair in The Exorcist. With each step, I had to pause, puke, and attempt further egress. It's safe to say that the wallpaper and carpet, at least in that particular hallway, had to be replaced. No real loss. Like I said, it was hideous. 

Red Elvis and I made it to the parking garage and my car (aka The Bart Mobile). I wasn't even in the same neighborhood as 'OK to drive', so I threw the keys to Red Elvis so he could drive. If you know me, you know this is rare. I don't like other people driving my vehicles. I'm particular, OK? 

Mojo and I crossed paths many times over the next decade. My career slowly crept upward and his was all over the place. If you never got the chance to see him live, I feel sorry for you. He was one helluva entertainer. Never a great singer, he was an alright guitarist when he wanted to be. He always knew he could entertain you and he was a loud enough character to make sure you didn't miss the opportunity. I think the last time I heard from him was around 2008 or 09. He sounded like he was having a good run of luck and was as loud as ever. My health was already starting to slow me down a little.

Reading tonight that Mojo died of a 'cardiac event', definitely caught my attention, but it didn't surprise me. I'll wager he was having FUN up until the very last second. Rest In Peace ya fuckin' Wildman. The world has just become quieter and infinitely less fun without you. Thanks for all you've left behind. I hope your questions find answers on the other side.